


Dust To Dust

by CynthiaK2014



Category: The Magnificent Seven (TV)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-31
Updated: 2015-05-31
Packaged: 2018-04-02 05:19:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 70,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4047604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CynthiaK2014/pseuds/CynthiaK2014
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This series was actually the first of the Dust stories begun in 2001.  It involves more family than the others and was also the most fun to write.  </p><p>Nathan loses a patient but finds a friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Nathan  
**************** 

I held him and listened to the tiny lungs labor to take in air, hoping against hope that he was far enough along to make it on his own. But five minutes later, I laid him down and wrapped his small body in the quilt his mama had made for him. Mizz Black was stoic, having gone through this before. Two miscarriages had worn her out and I really hoped that Mr. Black would let her heal before trying to get her pregnant again.

“I’m real sorry, Mizz Black. It was just too soon.” I sat by her side, holding the little boy who’d come too quickly into the world.

“You did your best, Mr. Jackson. I ‘preciate you coming out all this way. When the pains started, I knew it was too early.” Her faded blue eyes held mine, all the knowledge in the world in that resigned gaze. “Would you mind tending to him for me? Mr. Black won’t return until next Friday. We buried his sister under the big maple tree at the other end of the pasture.”

“I’ll take care of him, Mizz Black. You just rest and take a little nap.” I stood up, cradling the baby in my arms.

“Mr. Standish is still watching the children?” She could barely keep her eyes open but she had responsibilities.

“He’s telling them stories out by the well. They’re safe with him.” I told her quietly.

“Good, tell him thank you for me.” And she was asleep, just like that. 

That was the best thing for her and I left her in the small bedroom off the kitchen of the shanty Mr. Black had cobbled together when he first came. It was a poor excuse for a home but she was proud of it. Heading outside, I wondered where the shovel might be found.

Green eyes met mine over the heads of the two children he was showing magic tricks to and his face never changed expression when I shook my head. Heading for the barn, I found the shovel and left out the back to head into the pasture. The old maple was a landmark in these parts and I thought of the little girl that slept there for eternity. Now she’d have company.

It didn’t take long to dig down far enough so he wouldn’t be disturbed. I laid him gently at the bottom and bowed my head in prayer. Josiah might could have done it better but he wasn’t here so I did the best I could, asking the good Lord to take him safely to his sister. And I added another prayer that Mizz Black would get well and not get pregnant for at least a year.

Then I shoveled the dirt back in and rolled a nice sized stone onto the spot the way the other grave was marked. There was a stream not far from the homestead and I went there to wash away the dried blood. I took off my shirt and washed it too, wishing I had brought some soap with me. Like as not, the blood stains would set up and I’d have to buy another shirt.

“Here’s the soap, N-n-nathan.” A small voice piped up behind me and I sat back on my heels to take the white bar from the current man of the house.

“Thank you kindly, Johnny. I ‘preciate it.”

“You’re w-w-welcome. Ezra asked m-m-me to bring it.” Johnny’s stutter would pass in time, I hoped. “The baby d-d-died.”

The matter of fact statement shook me for some reason. “I’m afraid so, Johnny. It was too soon for him to be born.”

“I w-w-was ‘fraid too. I’m real glad you and Ezra c-c-came.”

“I’m glad I came too, Johnny. Your mama will need you to be real strong for her while she heals up.” I treated him as I would an adult but when he hugged me, I hugged him back the way I would any eight-year old boy who was growing up too fast.

“Thanks, N-n-nathan. You going to stay the n-n-night?” The little voice piped near my ear and I nodded. “Oh, b-b-boy, then Ezra is going to cook johnny-cakes for us.”

“Really? Well then, I better wash up or he won’t make me any.” I let him go and watched him race back to the house. Ezra could cook? Somehow that seemed real strange to me. Shaking my head, I went back to washing my shirt and saw the last blood stain disappear with satisfaction.

I wrung it out good and threw it over my shoulder, headed for the barn and my saddlebags. I found them hanging over one of the horse stalls, my spare shirt hanging on a nail just awaitin’ for me. It was too high for Johnny to reach so it must have been Ezra who thought of it.

‘Course, clothes were real important to him so it kind of made sense. I shook my head, I would never understand him not if I lived to be a hundred. Buttoning up my shirt, I pondered the man I thought I hated once upon a time. That had been a year ago when my hatred of all things Southern had been strong. I’d tried avoiding him but time after time we were thrown together to save Four Corners or one thing or another until I guess I grew used to him. 

He was good with kids, that much I had to give him. And it appeared that he could cook. Who’d have guessed it? I tucked in my shirt and dried my hair with the towel hanging there. If we stayed the night, the hayloft would be our bed and I stopped for a moment, wondering why I felt so warm at that thought.

“D-d-dinner.” The stuttering cry came from the front porch and I hurried out of the barn.

The table was set with plates and forks with some fading wildflowers in a tin cup in the middle. Ezra was just coming out of the bedroom. “Mr. Jackson, Mrs. Black is having some beef broth for her dinner. I hope that is all right?”

“Best thing for her. Didn’t know she had any on hand.” I sat at the table and helped little Mary with her bib.

“I took the liberty of bringing some with us. Inez made up several jars and told me it would help her with the . . . blood loss.” He hesitated a moment over the words but I was too surprised at his thinking that far ahead to really notice.

“That was a real good thought, Ezra. Something smells good.” I watched him bring over a stack of hotcakes that were steaming from the stove.

“Enjoy. There’s syrup in the cruet.” He blushed a little and helped Mary pour some syrup over the cake on her plate before handing it to me to help Johnny. With the edge of the fork, he showed her how to make little bite-sized pieces of cake so she didn’t burn her mouth.

I finished off an entire cake in about two seconds. They were good and the syrup wasn’t maple. “Ezra, what’s the syrup got in it?”

“Um,” his startled green eyes flew up to meet mine, “oh, it’s a combination of honey and boysenberry. That’s why it’s a little dark colored.”

I was too busy finishing another cake to do more than nod at him. He smiled, that gold tooth flashing at me. But Mary was demanding more help so he buckled down to cut up more of her cake. He must have been keeping a close eye on the disappearing ones though because just as I was polishing off the last, he got up and began to make more.

“Where did you learn to cook, Ezra?” I wondered if I could tease anymore of his past out of him. He’d seemed real secretive to me until I met his mother. Then I understood him a whole lot better. That woman was a force of nature like a flood or a hurricane.

“One of my . . . early homes was rather deficient in funds and they hired me out to a local eatery establishment. I soon learned to cook to keep the chef’s displeasure at a minimum.” He set another plate of steaming cakes on the table and sat down this time to have one himself.

I’d gotten pretty good at deciphering Ezra-isms and I thought about a young boy sent to work in a kitchen. He was probably only one step up from the slaves working there and I could just see the young boy he was then, learning to duck a heavy hand or stir a sauce so it didn’t burn. I’d come to realize over the course of the year that we both of us had had some similar experiences. ‘Course I was a big strong boy at an early age and Ezra still wasn’t that big.

“Well, I’m glad you did, Ezra. These taste real good. Did you make the syrup, too?” I looked up in time to see him blush again.

“Yes, I brought some supplies with me, not knowing what might be on hand.” He shoved some cake in his mouth to keep from saying any more.

I knew just what he meant though. I’d kind of wondered my own self what state their larder might be in. Still, it had been a real generous thought of his. “I’m glad you thought ahead.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the look of surprise that he quickly hid. And that made me feel kind of bad. I knew that I had held on to my prejudices longer than I should have but he deserved the praise he’d earned. I’d have to make sure that I remembered to thank him when he did something right and good. It was only fair.

Mary’s appetite flagged after she finished the first cake and Johnny only managed three before having to quit. Ezra told them they had to do the dishes since he had cooked but I noticed that he ‘helped’ them after we were finished. I checked on Mizz Black and helped her use the chamber pot before changing the moss that was soaking up the trickles of blood left from the birth. I made sure that I covered the pot before I took it out to the outhouse to dump.

No sense in the children seeing the bloody aftermath of the miscarriage. When I came back in, Ezra had them washed up and into their nightshirts. The trundle bed was pulled out from under the big bed and they were tucked in side by side listening to his bedtime story with sleepy eyes. Mizz Black was listening too and I sat in the kitchen while he spun a yarn about boating down the river down to a big lake where trout leapt up into the boat for dinner and the little brother and sister sounded quite a bit like Johnny and Mary.

I was grinning by the time he finished the story and I heard Mizz Black thank him real quiet like, the little ones having already fallen asleep. Ezra surely did have a way with words. He shut the door quietly behind him and nodded at me, coming a little closer to whisper to me that he was going down to the stream to wash up before going to the barn.

I told him that I get our bed ready in the hayloft and he smiled kind of shy like, ducking his head and murmuring yes. I made sure the fires were banked in the house and I noticed that he already had the oatmeal soaking for breakfast tomorrow. Shaking my head, I closed the door behind me and walked slowly out to the barn. Somehow when I didn’t know it, Ezra had turned into someone I approved of, someone I could trust.

Maybe all those qualities had been there all along and I was just now noticing them. If so, I owed him a big apology. Looking back over the last year, I realized I’d been so wrapped up in snarling at the world that I’d closed myself off from someone who might become a friend. In fact, already had become a friend. Pulling both our bedrolls from our saddles, I climbed to the loft and mounded the straw to make a good base for our blankets. It was going to be cool later and the temp was already dropping.

Ezra was going to be shivering if he didn’t hurry up. At that thought, he hurried in half-dressed. I’d just taken off my boots and laid them to the side when I looked over the edge of the loft. I was in the right spot to see him when he pulled the damp towel from around his shoulders. I barely bit back a shocked cry when I saw the white lines of scars that crisscrossed his whole back. 

I knew what made them, too. The overseer on my plantation had been real fond of a bullwhip.

I soundlessly made my way back from the edge and lay back on my blankets while I tried to understand what I’d just seen. He hadn’t gotten those scars just once. It had to have taken time to accumulate that many. Some of them had silvered so they’d been put there when he was just a boy. What in the good Lord’s name was a white boy doing with scars like that?

Maybe that was why he wore so many layers between him and the rest of us. Thinking back, I realized that I’d literally never seen him without something over his back. Damn, I’d been seriously low-accounting him. And I felt such anger that I wanted to find whoever had done it and take their own whip to them. Where was that coming from? I was thinking so hard I almost missed when he blew out the lantern and began to climb the ladder.

Suddenly, I was nervous but I wasn’t sure why.

“Mr. Jackson?” His voice was softly questioning.

“Right here, Ezra. I put our bedrolls close together ‘cause it’s going to get real cool by morning.” I tried to keep my voice even, all the time wondering about the nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach.

“I was afraid of that so I brought an extra blanket.” All I could see was a darker shadow crawling towards me and when he touched my leg I like to jumped a mile. “Sorry.”

“No problem, Ez’. I was just thinking of something else.” And like a cannon burst, I suddenly realized what I was feeling. Maybe I’d gone crazy but somewhere along the line, I’d stopped thinking of him as the enemy. Instead, I felt desire the likes of which I’d never felt before. Not even with Rain had I felt this breathless urge to hold and taste. 

While I was having this revelation, he was trying to get comfortable not six inches away from me. I could smell the soap he’d used to wash up with but under that was the kind of spicy musk that was just Ezra to me. My eyes had adjusted to the darkness and through the chinks of the plank roof the stars shone in. He was wearing his long underwear same as me but they smelled of lavender.

“Ezra?” He was probably going to shoot me but I needed to know something. “Could I ask you a question?’

“Certainly, Mr. Jackson.” His voice was a little wary but then he always kept us kind of arms length anyway. “If I can answer, I will.”

“I saw your back just now. Who did it?”

I could hear his shock and he took a deep breath then another before answering. “When I was ten, Mother left me with some cousins in Louisiana. She neglected to leave any remuneration with them so they gave me to the owner of a brothel to work in their kitchen. I was a very scrawny child without any looks at all, which was probably a good thing or I’d have ended up on the other side of the wall, servicing the men who came to visit.”

Now I really was mad as hell. How dare they treat a child like that? I hadn’t even realized that I said that out loud until I heard the sob in his voice.

“Thank you, Mr. Jackson, that is a kind thought. I was clumsy in the extreme or so the cook said while he was beating me. What I didn’t realize was my whippings were being watched by a . . . a customer who liked such things.” His voice wobbled a little and I just couldn’t lay there and allow him to bare his soul like that.

Moving a little closer, I went up on one arm so I could see the pale flesh that gleamed in the starlight. Little tear tracks shone in the silver light and I couldn’t bear it. “Ezra, I’m sorry. I don’t need to know anymore if you don’t want to say it.”

“I’ve never told anyone, not even Mother.” He shivered. “The Madame of the brothel was going to sell me to him.” He was holding onto his arms and rocking a little.

That decided me right then and there. I gently gathered him up and held him close to my heart while I stroked that soft hair of his. He started and held real still for a long moment but I just kept a’rockin’ him until he relaxed. “Let it out, Ezra. There ain’t nothing you can tell me that would make me think any less of you.”

He sniffled. “Well, I couldn’t probably get any lower in your estimation. I know what you think of low-account gamblers and I don’t blame you.”

“That’s not who you are, Ezra and hard as it may be to believe, I’m not always right.” I rested my cheek on the soft dark hair. “I’ve been real wrong about you. You’re a good cook, a great storyteller and you’d make a real good father.”

He stilled and I felt him shake his head. Maybe it was time to peel back a few more layers. “I’ve been pretty harsh to you and some of the others. I hate to say it but I’ve always seen the people I meet as good or bad with nothing in between. And that’s just not right, Ezra. People is made up of a little bit of everything, both good and bad. You’re no more sinful than the next man and I just realized I’m real glad I know you.”

“You are?” His voice was real low and he relaxed against me. “I was afraid to tell you that I’m very glad you’re our healer and thank you for letting me help this time.”

“Well, if I’d been thinking straight, I’d of had you along a couple of times to help me out.” His scent was starting to make me feel kind of dizzy. Now he’d relaxed, I could feel all of him against me and damned if that wasn’t making me harden.

“Oh, um, Mr. Jackson, I’m sorry but I . . . um” he kind of stopped talking the same moment that I realized that I wasn’t the only one getting hard.

“Ezra, I got to say that I’m enjoying what my body is saying but how do you feel about it?” I held my breath and wished I could see his face better but it was buried in my neck. “Would it be rape if I said that I’d like us to make love right now?”

He shivered again then . . . Glory Be, he kissed my throat. “Never rape . . . Nathan.”

I think I might have been blushing pretty hard myself right then but it didn’t stop me from gathering him in closer and nuzzling my way from his ear down his jaw line then to his lips. He gasped, I think but all I could feel was the softness of those lips. Maybe half the time that I wished he would stop talking was simply the desire to do this instead. I’d have to do some thinking on that.

But not now.

Now was for fumbling open the buttons on his long underwear so I could touch his skin all over. His fingers were faster than mine and pretty soon I got the added bonus of those pretty hands on my skin. But when I pulled his top down and off his arms, he stopped moving completely and let me explore his nipples with my mouth. He was shaking all over and I checked first to be sure it was from passion and not fear. 

But he shook his head ruefully and stroked my cheek. “It’s been a long time, Nathan.”

“Me, too.” I admitted and finally felt him smile against my skin.

“Then, let me give you ease.” And he began to stroke my stomach slowly moving over my skin lower and lower until that elegant long hand of his was wrapped around my cock.

My groan brought his eyes flying up to mine while he stilled. “Ezra, that wasn’t a bad groan but an ‘oh my God he’s touchin’ me’ kind of groan.”

He chuckled and gripped me a little tighter. “You’re so warm and soft.”

“You keep a’doin’ that and I’m not going to be soft long.” I finally had his longjohns open so I could touch him, too. “I wish we had some light so I could see you. If’n we wake up early, maybe we can help each other again?”

“You would like to continue . . . this?” His wondering tone touched my heart.

“I would but only if you want to, Ez’.” I stroked a little harder and felt him swell in my hand. I had the feeling I was going to enjoy seeing and tasting him.

His voice was shy but determined when he sat up and shrugged out of his longjohns. I thought that was a great idea and I followed suit. The cold air didn’t have a chance as we heated up. But when he began to suckle on one of my nipples, I like to exploded. No one had ever done that for me and I liked it a lot. So I pushed him onto his back and leaned over him to pull one of those pink nipples into my mouth.

His groan sounded familiar and I would have smiled and teased him but Mama always told me not to talk with my mouth full. When I switched to his other nub, his hands pulled me closer and I ended up between his legs with our cocks dueling for space. He started thrusting up while I was bearing down and all too soon, we were panting into a messy release.

Our seed mingled on our stomachs and chests. He sighed and hugged me close. But I thought I was too heavy and tried to move to the side. “Please.”

And I realized that he thought I was leaving him. “I’m too heavy for you, Ez’. And we’re going to be glued together if I don’t get something to clean us up.”

“Oh . . . yes, I think we might.” He let me go and sat up. “I have a handkerchief in my pocket if I can find my . . . here it is.”

He began to stroke the soft cotton over my skin, using his touch to find our seed. “Actually, why don’t you lie back there and I’ll just make sure you’re clean.”

And just like that he bent over me and began to lap the seed from my skin. I like to shivered myself to pieces. Nobody had ever done that for me, either. I was beginning to think I had a lot to learn and Ezra might be a real good teacher. He was even tonguing my cock and damned if it didn’t think about rising again. Once wasn’t going to be anywhere near enough for these lessons.

“There, that’s better. I surely do wish I could see this magnificent organ in a state of full hardness.” He stroked it softly while I reached out for him.

“Come here, Ezra. It’s your turn.” Laying him down, I started my search for missing seed about his belly button and he squirmed like he had ants in his pants. “Hm-m, ticklish there, are you? It’s a good thing you done drained me dry tonight or I’d be seeing what I could do.”

He chuckled then hiccuped when I gently kissed the end of his cock. “Oh, Nathan, that feels so good.”

“You surely do, Ezra, feel real good, that is. We are definitely going to be waking up early, even though I know you like to sleep in.” I nudged his balls and licked them clean while his legs fell open on either side of me and his cock considered coming back to life.

“With this kind of incentive, Nathan, I will do my very best to awaken early.” He caught his breath and let it out slowly when I rubbed my bristly cheek over his inner thigh.

“Oh, there will be a great . . . big . . . incentive for you, Ez’.”

“Yes, I tasted it earlier.” He had a smile in his voice and I slid up beside him, drawing him into my arms.

“We forgot something, Ezra.” I held him close and felt him turn his head towards me.

“What did we forget, Nathan?” Curious as a cat, as my Mama used to say.

“This.” I leaned over and brushed my lips over his in a goodnight kiss.

“Oh . . . can’t forget that.” And he reached up and brought me closer while that clever tongue of his slipped inside my mouth as if he’d always known the way. We kissed until we had to breathe then I tucked him close beside me and drew up the extra blanket he’d brought with him. 

Tomorrow was going to be a beautiful day.

*******************


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waking up in the hayloft.

Ezra  
**************** 

I was toasty warm and pleasantly held close in strong arms with warmth all down my back. My body thought that was a very nice way to sleep and my sleepy mind thought my bed had never been so comfortable before. I wanted to stretch but when I did, those arms tightened around me and I woke completely up with a start.

This wasn’t my bed back at the saloon. This was a hayloft in the Black’s barn and the strong arms belonged to Nathan. My eyes flew open to see the early light of dawn streaming in the cracks in the plank roof. I was held fast by arms the color of coffee while a large capable hand held my slowly hardening cock.

And if I was not mistaken, a very large, very hard cock was nestled between my nether cheeks.

I swallowed hard and thought back over the confessions of the night. Would Nathan still want this in the light of day when he could truly see me for what I was? He was such a good man, strong and gentle even with me, the no-account gambler in his life. No one had ever stayed and partaken of more than a night with me. I could only assume that I wasn’t very good at loving.

But he seemed to enjoy our love making last night, I argued with myself. If he stayed, I’d be willing to take him on any terms he decreed. Never had I known such peace as I had the night before. It must be his healer’s touch. I prayed silently to a God that I wasn’t sure even existed. Just one more day, Lord, let me have just one more day.

And that’s when I realized that Nathan was awake and kissing the back of my neck.

“Good morning, Ezra. I don’t think I’ve ever slept so well in a hayloft.” He chuckled and nuzzled the back of my neck again.

So, I turned in his arms so he could really see me. “Good morning, Nathan. I slept well, also. I don’t think I even dreamed.”

“Well, if you did it must have been of something good ‘cause look how you woke up.” He gathered our cocks together in that capable hand of his and I shivered all the way down to my toes. “You still willin’, Ezra? ‘Cause I surely am.”

He did want to, I thought with relief. “Yes, please, Nathan. More than anything, I want you inside of me.”

His hand stilled and those chocolate eyes widened. “You want me to take you first, Ezra? I thought maybe you’d like to come inside of me.”

It was my turn to be shocked. He’d let me . . .? I couldn’t finish that thought. “No, I want you to take me. Make this real instead of such a good dream that I don’t want to ever wake up.”

“We’re not a dream, Ezra.” Firm lips met mine for a sizzling brush of mouth to mouth and I just had to open up for more of his rich taste. But eventually we had to breathe and he took a deep breath, giving me time to regain my composure. “We don’t either of us take making love lightly. I promise I will never make you do anything you don’t want to.”

“But I want you.” I was blushing so hard my ears were probably bright pink. “I mean, I want you to make love to me so I’ll know how.”

He stilled then leaned up over me. “Ezra, you’ve never been with a man before?”

I gulped and told him the truth in a whisper. “Just once . . . I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. One of the Union soldiers who captured my squad got drunk and . . . and took me.”

“Raped you?” His voice swelled and for one frightening moment I thought he was angry with me. “Son of a bitch, how badly did he hurt you? My sweet Ezra, you didn’t deserve that.”

“My captain said it was my own fault for being so . . . so effeminate.” I could feel small tremors shake my whole body. I hadn’t thought of that in years. I thought I’d buried it so deep inside it would never come back except in my dreams.

“That’s bullshit, Ezra. There is no excuse in any way, shape, or form for somebody taking you against your will.” He kissed me softly and I felt the tremors subside. “How bad was it?”

“I bled rather heavily for a day or so and going to the . . . um, bathroom was a little painful for about a week. But we’d been transferred to another unit and I kept myself dirty so they wouldn’t think I was . . . pretty.”

“Sweet Ezra, dirty or clean, you’re one of the most beautiful men I’ve ever seen. I know why he lusted after you but I’m real sorry that he took what should have been yours to give.” He scattered little kisses over my face, licking away my tears and smoothing his love over the wounds of the past.

“Thank you, Nathan. I still want you inside of me. Show me know how it’s supposed to feel when you l- . . . like the person you’re with.” 

“Well, we’re going to need something to smooth the way. Have you got any of that hair pomade that I’ve seen you use?” He sat up but made me stay flat.

“It’s in my saddle bags.” I watched his big body rise and head for the ladder, my eyes greedily drinking in the sight of all those long, heavy muscles of his. He was beautiful in a way that I could never be. I’m small and some might call me compact but I knew I was just skinny.

He was like a marble statue I saw once in a museum in New York City. The Roman sculptor, Michelangelo had immortalized a wrestler in marble. I’d never seen such power and grace until this sight of Nathan in the early morning light. But cold white marble would never be able to do justice to the warm, dark chocolate skin of the man that I’d held in my arms.

He was beautiful in every way and I knew what a privilege it was that he wanted me. The sin, if there was one, was that I wasn’t good enough for his great hearted soul. And I sent up another quick petition that the good Lord make sure that nothing I did would harm him or cause him a moment of pain.

Any pain belonged to me, I vowed silently.

Then his head reappeared above the ladder and I saw he’d slung both sets of saddlebags over his broad shoulders. I watched with quiet awe his return to me and the smile on his face brought one to mine. “Ezra, that’s a real lustful look and I’m glad to see it. I’d hate to think that I was the only one who wanted this.”

“Oh, I want you, Nathan. I just . . . just never thought I could dream so well.” I tried to tell him that I knew I wasn’t good enough but I was still hoping against hope that he’d let me have this one time.

“Not dreamin’, Ezra Standish. This is just as real as real can be.” He settled back at my side, setting the saddlebags down near us and leaning in for another kiss.

I sucked on his tongue, taking the rich taste of him inside of me, the way I wanted to take his cock deep into my body. His hands touched me everywhere and I burned in a way I’d never experienced before. Then his mouth was moving down my throat and nibbling at my nipples while I held his head and tried not to shake. It had felt so good in the night that I was surprised to find it felt even better when I could look down and see those strong white teeth of his nip at the suddenly sensitive nub.

“You’re beautiful here, Ezra. Pretty pink nipples that just beg me to suckle at your breast.” His murmur brought tears to my eyes. No one had ever told me that before. But he was moving further down and suddenly his warm wet tongue was laving my stomach. It was just as ticklish in the light of day and I had to laugh out loud at the teasing touch. He chuckled then swooped down on my cock while I gasped and tried not to pull on his hair.

“But this is just about the most beautiful cock I’ve ever seen.” He licked away a tear from the small slit while I tried to stay still. “You know, I’ve seen most of us in the all together at one time or another but I always did think that you were beautiful. Every part of you is in proportion with everything else.”

“Th-thank you, Nathan. I don’t believe I’ve ever had such a nice compliment.” I squirmed when he rubbed his stubbled cheek lightly over my crown. If I got much more stimulation, I was going to come prematurely. “Please come inside of me, Nathan.”

He stopped what he was doing and looked up at me. “You’re sure, Ezra? We could wait until we’re back in town in your rooms or mine.”

I felt myself go rigid. “You . . . you want me for more than once?”

He swore quietly under his breath before moving back to my side and pulling me close to him. “Ezra, I want you for always. I don’t know any other way to tell you that I was wrong about you. I respect your many skills and I’m looking forward to learning more about you over the next thirty years or so, if the good Lord gives us that long. It won’t be easy with us being different colors. But then two men who love each other don’t have it so easy either, no matter what color they are.”

“Forever.” I managed to whisper to him. “May I have forever?”

“Yes.” He kissed me solemnly then leaned back to look at me. “There, that’s better. I like to see you smile that warm smile. Your eyes light up and twinkle like green stars in the night sky.”

I chuckled a little, which was obviously what he wanted because he was tickling me into laughter while I tried to escape his teasing fingers. But all motion ceased when a piping voice came from the barn door. “N-n-nathan? You awake? Mama thinks she’s maybe bleeding again.”

“I’ll be right there, Johnny. Go back and fill the teakettle before putting it on the front burner. Ezra and I will be in as soon as we get dressed.” Nathan sighed soundlessly and kissed me hard. Then in a whisper right by my ear, he told me he loved me again before reluctantly letting me go. 

He quickly slid into his longjohns and left for the lower level with his boots in hand. I sat up and wistfully put my own on before getting the comb from my saddlebags and taming the morning hair with which I always woke. It didn’t take me long to get dressed but for once, I left my jacket hanging up in the horse stall. It was only the five of us and I thought that maybe Nathan would like to see me with fewer layers.

He’d already seen my back so he knew the worst of my scars. I was very lucky that he was so magnanimous and accepting of my flaws. Then I went inside to make breakfast for the family. The oatmeal was cooking in the cooking pot while I scrambled the six eggs that Johnny had found in the hen house. Nathan’s comforting murmur came from behind the closed door and I smiled at the eggs while answering Mary’s questions about how to cook.

Nathan came out and asked me to heat up more of the beef broth before taking some of the hot water back in with him. I hoped that didn’t mean that Mrs. Black had suffered a relapse. The children were uneasy, glancing at the bedroom door over and over. So I got their attention and began another one of my stories. Breakfast was ready when I tapped on the door and Nathan called for me to come in.

Mrs. Black was paler than the day before but her smile was still as bright. She might have been beautiful once but the long years spent trying to wrest a living from the soil had aged her prematurely. Until she smiled, then you saw the pretty girl that she had been. She murmured her thanks when I handed the beef broth over in one their tin cups.

Her hand shook but the first sip seemed to give her strength. “Nathan, go eat your breakfast while it’s hot. I’ll be fine. Perhaps I could have some of that oatmeal that I smell cooking after I finish this broth.”

“If you’re still hungry then I shall bring in a bowl for you.” I promised her.

Breakfast was quiet but they finished everything on their plates. I took in a small bowl of oatmeal sweetened with the syrup I brought and she finished it, too. Nathan took her pulse before tucking her back in and telling her to sleep some more. We exchanged a rather sad look before splitting up to help the children with their chores.

Mary and I searched for more eggs while Nathan chopped wood for the woodpile. Johnny carried in logs for the house then started stacking it in the sheltered alcove near the door. I’ve never seen anyone cut wood faster than Nathan. His concentration on the job was admirable and I watched surreptitiously when he began to sweat. Soon, his shirt came off and I had to catch my breath at the play of muscles under his skin. 

Johnny followed his example but Mary and I stayed clothed by going inside to bake her mother a cake. Half the eggs we’d found went into it and I found half a quart of milk in the well alcove. With a little sugar and flour that I’d brought with me, we made quite a nice cake while I boiled potatoes for our lunch. She ran out to the small garden and brought me what could only be the last of the green beans.

They weren’t the best but they would have to do. I’d seen some basil growing in the garden and I sent her out again to bring in five or six leaves. But she wasn’t sure she knew which herb it was. So we went out together and I explained the names of all the herbs growing there.

The rest of the day passed peacefully and even though I wanted Nathan’s complete attention, I knew my time was coming. Dinner was festive with flowers on the table, two rabbits that Nathan and Johnny had caught and Mrs. Black’s cake for dessert. The children helped me wash up while Nathan got their mother ready for bed. Their story was a short one for they fell asleep quickly after their busy day.

Then Nathan and I were walking across the dirt yard to the barn. Once we went in, he paused and looked down at me in the fading light of dusk. “Maybe we should go down and help each other wash away the toil of the day?”

I know my eyes lit up and I moved closer to him, taking a deep breath of his musky scent. “I’ll wash your back for you, Nathan. Then perhaps you could return the favor?”

He chuckled and kissed me. I will never get enough of his kisses, not if I live to be ninety. But he broke it off abruptly and took a deep breath. “Soap and towels, Ezra or we won’t make it out of this barn.”

I nodded a little breathlessly and hurried up the ladder so I could reach for my saddlebags and the soap we needed. Then I returned no less hurriedly because I wanted to be able to see him again even if it was only in twilight. He put an arm around me and I slid mine around his waist while we walked in silence to the stream. We undressed each other with many a fond caress before taking to the water. It was still warm from the afternoon sun and felt like silk to my overheated skin.

Taking the soap, I lathered my hands and washed Nathan thoroughly from head to toe. His skin felt so alive that I wanted to keep touching it everywhere. But he was impatient and took the soap from me; washing me all over and taking the time to lave those spots that made me squirm. I had no secrets from our healer when it came to my body. But his last caress made me shiver all over.

With soapy fingers, he breached my entrance and held me close while he slowly thrust them inside of me. At first it was just uncomfortable then his angle changed and I felt warmth bloom deep and spread outward. “Nathan?”

“There’s a gland inside of a man that feels real good when it’s stimulated. You all right with this, so far?” He whispered in my ear, tonguing the lobe before biting it gently.

Every touch made me grow harder and harder until I thought I’d burst. “Please, Nathan. More, please.”

He chuckled and urged me down onto the grassy bank on my back. Then his fingers slid back inside of me and his mouth descended on my cock. I bit my hand to keep from crying out, his hand on my stomach kept me from moving and all too soon, I was releasing into his care.

“Beautiful Ezra.” He slowly left me empty and leaned over me. “Let’s go to bed.”

I nodded, bereft of all words. He helped me up and dried me while I gradually stopped shaking. But I insisted on drying him as well and I paid special attention to his magnificent organ, which was fully rigid and standing out from his groin like a flag pole. I could hardly wait to take him inside of me. Leaving it with a last kiss to the velvet crown, I finished drying his long legs.

Then we hurried back to the barn while the air grew steadily more chilly around us. I hurried up the ladder, determined to remake our bed into one slightly more comfortable. Wishing I had a linen sheet, I mounded the straw again and spread one of Nathan’s blankets flat out then added one of mine. Hopefully, that would keep stray bits of straw from poking either of us in a sensitive spot. Shaking out our remaining blankets, I folded them at the foot so they’d be ready to pull over us when we were done making love.

“Looks real good, Ezra.” Nathan had followed me up and I watched while he hung the lantern securely on a hook just above the ladder. He turned the flame down low but the soft yellow light seemed to glow like a miniature sun above us. “I want to see you, Ezra and I want you to see me.”

I blushed all the way down to my toes. I wasn’t much to look at but he certainly was. He just chuckled and pulled our saddlebags closer to us. I sat down and opened mine in search of the pomade that he said would help him come inside of me. I didn’t use much so the small jar was pretty full. Handing it to him, I started to lay down on my stomach but his hand stopped me.

“I want to see you, Ez’. I want to watch you flush all the way down to those pretty toes of yours. I want you to watch me suckle at your breast and feel my fingers sliding so deep inside of you that you won’t even notice when I take them out and slip in my cock.” He made love to me with words and kisses. If I hadn’t already been in love with him, I would have fallen then.

“Nathan,” was all I could say, pulling him down to me and kissing him everywhere I could reach. He chuckled and kissed me back while teasing my legs apart so he could kneel between them. The first two slick fingers merely took up where his soapy fingers had left off and I felt again that warm sensation that radiated out to my extremities.

But then there were three fingers moving slightly in and out and the warmth became a burn that stung. I knew there would be some pain but his cock was bigger than even three fingers and I took a deep breath while he gently kept my entrance scissored open.

“More, Nathan. Please more.” I needed to move or something. I’d never felt such pleasure mixed with pain. Then the fingers were gone and I sighed in relief only to have him turn me to the side so he could spoon up behind me.

“Now, I need you to relax all over and push out real hard against me, Ezra. You sure you want me right now?” I could hear him rubbing pomade on his cock and I nodded. “I need to hear the words, Ezra. I’d never forgive myself if you didn’t want this.”

“I do want you, Nathan. There’s a fire burning inside of me and only you can put out the flames.” I turned enough so he could see the determination on my face. He kissed me gently then I felt him nudge between my cheeks.

Relaxing as best I could, I felt the warm blunt intruder press against my entrance. Pushing back against him, I knew the exact moment he breached me. Searing pain radiated out from my small hole and into my lower back. He stilled a long moment while I panted through it. Then he pushed a little further in and paused again. This pain was just as bad as when the soldier had raped me except I wanted this.

I wanted Nathan and if pain was the price for having him then I would gladly pay it. “More, Nathan. Give him all to me.”

“Brave Ezra.” His soft voice soothed away some of the pain and I felt him slide all the way in, his heavy balls flush against my cheeks.

There’d been a flash of warmth I had only associated with his fingers. When he went back to rocking gently in and out, it came again. And yet again. The dull ache was soon leavened with bright heat that burned but in a good way. He was pulling further out then back in with ever quickening thrusts that soon banished the pain completely and left me burning inside and out.

I was moaning steadily and his big hand was frictioning my awakened shaft at almost the same speed as his thrusts. Suddenly I came hard onto his fingers and felt liquid heat fill my channel to overflowing. I went completely limp all over and felt his arms hold me tightly against him. If I was very lucky, I would never have to move again.

“Sweet Ezra.” The soft endearment made my eyes fill with tears. “I’ve never felt anything like your heat. Did the pain ever go away?”

I nodded and dragged up the energy to speak. “You must have struck my gland a hundred times and each time it felt better and better until the pain went away. Stay inside of me as long as you can, please?”

“I’d stay inside of you forever, Ezra Standish.” He kissed the back of my sweaty neck and I gave a contented sigh. “But somehow I think that would make playing poker kind of hard for you.”

“Rather have you inside of me than play poker any old day.” I snuggled back against him, loving the heat of him.

He chuckled and petted my stomach with come-covered fingers. I brought his hand up to my mouth and licked away every last trace of my seed. I didn’t taste as good as he did but maybe later he’d let me have his cock again to touch, caress and drain the way he’d done for me earlier.

“Ezra, that’s just about the nicest thing anybody has ever said to me.” His voice was kind of choked and I twisted around to see what I’d done wrong. And somehow he read my mind. “It’s a good thing, sweet Ezra, a real good thing. But I need to come out so I can make sure that I didn’t hurt you. Relax for me and pretend that I’m not already inside but you want me to come in.”

“I’ll always want you to come in. Ow-w-w,” I panted a little and felt him still then slowly come out with a popping sound. My little hole spasmed open and shut for a moment while I shuddered with relief.

“Thank you, Lord.” I heard him murmur then a cool damp cloth was mopping up the trickles. “There’s no blood but you’re going to be sore tomorrow. I wish we were back in Four Corners and I had that comfrey salve that works so well on sore muscles.”

“We shall be back there soon enough but what will we tell the others?” I was a little worried about that since I was very much odd man out of our little group.

Nathan turned me over and looked down into my face. “We’ll tell them the truth or as much of it as they need to know. We helped out the Blacks, you pulled a couple of muscles and we came back to town as friends.”

That was a relief. “Yes, that will work. Although, I expect they’ll wonder why you changed your mind. I’m not really someone you would trust normally.”

“Yes, you are, Ezra.” He frowned then smiled. “I can see I’m going to have to reassure you a few more times before you believe me.”

“I want to believe you, Nathan. I want to be worthy of your friendship.” I told him earnestly.

“You’re worthy, Ezra and somehow I’m goin’ to make you see that.” He kissed me gently then rolled away to put out the lantern before coming back to our bed and pulling the blankets up over us. “Sleep now and we’ll talk more in the morning. I love you, Ezra and I’d like to thank you for letting me love you.”

I held him close and buried my face in his warm shoulder. “I love you, Nathan. Thank you for loving me so well. May we do it again tomorrow?”

He chuckled and kissed the top of my head. “If you’re not too sore, sweet Ezra.”

I fell asleep, warmed to the depths of my soul by the wonderful man who held me. Tomorrow couldn’t come soon enough.

*******************


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They return to Four Corners.

Nathan  
**************** 

We rode back to town in silence but it was a happy silence instead of a tense one. I found myself watching him more often. Ah, hell, I had a hard time not just staring at him all the time. He’d turn that pretty shade of pink whenever he caught me and I was kind of glad my skin didn’t blush. But a couple of times I could feel my ears burning real good.

He was squirming just a little in his saddle and while part of me was worrying that I’d been too rough with him, most of me was crowing inside at the way he’d wanted me. He’d been awake with the sunrise and he was pleasuring me with his mouth when I woke up, thinking I was dreaming. He’d leaned up to kiss me and guided my hand to those soft cheeks of his.

He’d done his best to ready himself for me but I made sure that I spread a little more of that pomade inside before guiding him up and over me. He took me in all the way, shaking so hard I was afraid he’d vibrate off. But he’s a determined man and soon, he had all of me. His smile was so bright I melted all over again. He rode me for quite a while until I thrust up once too often and came.

His eyes widened and he squirted all over me without me ever touching him. ‘Course that would have been hard to do since he had a death grip on both of my hands. He kind of fell forward and I caught him close, easing us over to our sides so’s he didn’t hurt himself. I knew he had to be sore but you’d never be able to tell it from his smile.

That was so bright you could have lighted the whole hayloft with it.

“Where will you be in about an hour, Ezra?” I asked him when we rode up to the stable.

“I think a meal that I didn’t have to cook would be rather nice after I freshen up. Perhaps the saloon in an hour, Nathan?” He flashed me that bright smile again and warmed me all the way through.

“That’s a real good idea, Ezra. I’ll see you there.” I told him with my own smile and we parted at the stable. I needed to check on the clinic and see if I had any new patients. But it was hard. I’d been alone a long time and now I’d tasted Ezra, I didn’t want to ever be alone again.

There were several messages under the clinic door and I carried in my saddlebags to put them in my room, beyond the clinic. Looking around, I wondered if I could talk Ezra into moving in with me. Or if I should? Maybe we should just take turns ‘visiting’ each other?

I’d have to worry about that later. After washing up and changing clothes, I slipped a jar of the comfrey salve into my coat pocket and went out to make up some cough syrup for Gloria Potter, lavender oil for Mr. Brewster and some liniment for Josiah’s knee. While I was doing that, I found myself humming. I was definitely in love if he had me singing to myself. Slipping a couple of other supplies into my jacket pocket, I started out again. 

Stopping at the dry goods store, I had Mrs. Potter cough for me then gave her the bottle I’d made up. It wasn’t one of those coughs where you start worrying about pneumonia, it was just one of those annoying tickles that make you wake yourself up in the middle of the night. The lavender oil for Mr. Brewster was given to his son for delivery and I figured that Josiah would be in the saloon so I could deliver his liniment there.

Besides, I was impatient as all get out to see Ezra again. It seemed like forever since I’d tasted him or smelled the spicy scent that was his alone. But I restrained myself and nodded to the townspeople I met before finally reaching the swinging doors to the saloon. Inez greeted me with a smile and asked after Mrs. Black. She crossed herself at the news of the stillbirth and said she’d make up some more beef broth to send out to her.

I knew one of us would be riding out that way in a few days so I thanked her and said we’d let her know before we left. But just then I heard Ezra’s voice from the stairs and I turned my head to watch him walk down with Buck. The tall man must have been telling him a funny story because Ezra was chuckling out loud. And just like that, I was jealous of Buck because he’d gotten my Ezra to laugh.

But those green eyes came to mine and his eyelashes fluttered a little and I could see all thoughts of Buck went right out of his head when he saw me. I was going to get a swelled head if he kept that up. I could see that flush of his that made him look so cute and he almost missed a step when our eyes met like that. 

I took my beer to the table where the seven of us usually sat and sat across from Josiah who was already half way through his drink. I told him about Mrs. Black and he nodded, mentioning that he would stop by on Sunday to see how she was doing. I told him about Inez and the beef broth and he nodded. Then I remembered his knee and gave him the liniment I’d made up.

While he was thanking me, I felt Ezra sit down on the other side of me. How I knew it was him I don’t know, unless it was his scent or the way the air just naturally sizzled when he was nearby. I smiled at him and greeted Buck with a nod. The big man told me he had made a child’s wagon for the Black kids and Josiah asked for his company on Sunday. They’d both be welcome visitors to the Blacks.

Ezra was sipping on the whiskey he preferred and under the table, I pressed my knee against his. He pressed back and I felt myself smile at Josiah, which startled him a bit and I could see him wondering why I was so happy. But we were still too new and I wanted to be sure Ezra wanted us to be together. I didn’t want to pressure him if he had just been feeling vulnerable because I’d seen his back and heard his halting confessions.

Of course, he might think I was ashamed to be seen with him and I wanted to make sure that he knew that was most definitely not the case. “Ezra, what was that herbal remedy for the stiff-joint disease that you mentioned before?”

His green gaze was soft on my face when he answered. “I’ve heard that ginseng can be helpful as a tonic. Mr. Sanchez, have you heard of that also?”

“Brother Ezra, I have indeed heard of that miracle root. Northern California has several growers who devote acres to growing ginseng.” His deep voice went on to talk about the oddly shaped herb that so many people swore by. I learned a thing or two about it and I reminded myself I needed to write down.

Afterwards, not now when everyone at the table was in such a good mood. Buck was looking back and forth between us and I could see that quick mind of his sensing something was different but not sure exactly what. I made Ezra laugh twice and felt pretty proud of myself. He was less guarded than he’d ever been before and I knew that I’d be getting a visit from Josiah the next day. 

He cherished Ezra like the son he’d never had and I’d be honest with him about what had happened between us. Anything less would be discounting Ezra’s feelings and that’s something I would never do again. I’d hurt him too many times with my own prejudice. Now I’d finally seen the bright light that was Ezra, I was determined to make his life an easier one.

And I was surely going to make him happy if it was in my power.

Buck was still puzzled but he was content to just watch us. When JD came in from patrol, we’d all finished dinner but we sat with him to keep him company. Although part of me was itching to get Ezra alone so’s I could touch him . . . and taste him . . . and listen to those breathy little moans that made me harder than hard. But I didn’t want to give us away so I stayed relaxed with just an occasional touch under the table between our knees.

Never knew that was a hot spot before but with Ezra pretty much every inch of skin I had was a hot spot. And I was enjoying that like I’d never enjoyed anything before. Maybe the year of being wary around him was just so I could finally see him for what he was, a private man with a world of hurt inside of him. And I wanted to heal that hurt in the worst way.

When he was with children, he was so tender with them. That probably went all the way back to the times when he was being beaten and abused. I kept a smile on my face with an effort when I thought of the bastard who hurt him so badly. After we loved each other, I was going to ask him about what had happened to save him from being sold.

Ezra sold. Sold into a sexual slavery that might have killed an adult but would have surely killed a child. I dropped my hand under the table so I could touch him, even if it was only his leg. But his hand immediately found mine and he squeezed it a little. He’d been so lucky to be spared that degradation and I was lucky he’d survived to grow up so’s he could finally find me. Or maybe I found him? Whichever it was didn’t matter because we were together now and I would work on healing his past.

And just maybe, his sweetness would begin to heal some of mine. How odd that two such different people should find each other and find love, too. I looked around the table and saw some of the best men I’d ever met. I was truly blessed to be a part of this brotherhood.

“Brother Nathan, is there something you’d like to tell us?” Josiah’s voice was deep but carried no further than our table.

I smiled at him then split it between the others. “I was just thinking how lucky I am to count all of you as friends.”

“Heck yes, Nate, we’re all lucky that we came together the way we did.” Buck’s grin took in all of us.

“I’ve got to say that I also find it gratifying to have found six like-minded souls with whom I can share a life.” Josiah’s slow smile was one that always made me feel safe. “Is there anything else you’d like to share, brother?”

I didn’t dare look at Ezra for fear of giving us away. “Not right now, Josiah. But maybe we could talk tomorrow?”

“I’ll be waiting.” He nodded at me and I saw his eyes slide to Ezra then back to me. “Perhaps later in the day?”

I nodded and watched JD look at us with a puzzled look on his face. Ezra was still holding my hand and I never wanted to let go.

“Guys, I was really sorry to hear about Mrs. Black’s baby but did something else happen out to their ranch?” JD had finished his pork and beans and pushed his plate aside. “I mean you’re both smiling and relaxed.”

Trust the youngster to pick up on the emotional change. I smiled at him. “Ezra and I found some time to talk. We’re really not all that different, no matter what our skin color is. I finally realized we have a lot in common and it was silly for me not to welcome him as another friend.”

Ezra’s eyes were wide and tear-bright on my face when I finished my little speech. He had to clear his throat before he could speak. “Nathan . . . Nathan let me help and that felt so good that he’s going to be teaching me some of his healing arts.”

“Well now, that’s real good to hear, boys.” Buck had a cat-that-ate-the-canary look on his face and he divided a glance between us. “Friends are always good to have. So you’re going to be spending more time together then?”

And I just knew he knew exactly what we were going to be doing. “Ezra strained a few muscles while he was helping me so until the pain goes away, I’ll be working on them at least twice a day.”

“Yes, I was clumsy . . .” Ezra started to elaborate but I couldn’t let that old view of himself stand.

“You are not clumsy, Ezra. You just bit off a little more than you could chew.” I blessed my dark skin when I realized what I’d just said.

But he was looking at me with the adorably confused look that said so much. “Oh, I guess you’re right, Nathan. I surely do appreciate your care.”

“Hey, this is great.” JD was beaming at us. “We’re really becoming a kind of family, aren’t we?”

I could see how good that made him feel and I nodded. “My grandma always said that friends were family of the heart.”

“You’re grandmother was a wise woman, Brother Nathan. I believe I shall be getting back to the church for evening prayers.” Josiah stood and patted first my shoulder than Ezra’s. “I shall see you tomorrow. Good night, every one.” 

We said our good nights and Ezra stood with a wince that wasn’t faked. He had to be sore after our lovemaking and the long ride back to town. Buck sent us off with a jocular admonishment to take care of those sore muscles and I felt his eyes on us all the way up the stairs.

But finally we were in Ezra’s room with the door locked behind us and he was in my arms, right where he needed to be. He licked the patch of skin just under my chin and I shivered. It was time to get us both naked and into that nice looking bed behind him. His sigh was relieved and he rested his head on my chest.

“I think Buck knows.” He said. “But he seems to be all right with it?”

I held him close and rested my head on that soft hair of his. “He and Josiah probably both know. But when I talk to our preacher tomorrow I think I need to tell him exactly what is happening and why.”

He stilled his hands, which had been caressing my back. “All of it?”

I chuckled and pushed him a little away so I could see his face. “Not all of it, sweet Ezra, just enough so he understands that we love each other and I’m not forcing you into anything you don’t want.”

“Well, of course you aren’t forcing me.” He looked indignantly up at me and I couldn’t help but smile and kiss those pursed lips. Opening to me sweetly, he kissed me back before pulling away. “I think I need to go with you so I can tell him myself.”

“That would be fine, Ezra. But for now, may we please get undressed so I can soothe some of my comfrey salve on those sore muscles?”

He dimpled at me and stood away to begin undressing. That never fails to make my breath grow short and my hands itch to touch all that satiny white skin revealed by the removal of his clothes. I took off my own clothes haphazardly and watched him hang them up next to his while I was turning down the bed and putting the jar of salve on the bedside table.

Then he was in my arms again but this time I could feel all of him against my skin and I think we both groaned our enjoyment. I picked him up and laid him on the cool sheets before following him into bed. We kissed slowly and tenderly for long moments while we tasted each other. The light from the windows was slowly fading into dusk but he glowed in what little was left.

“Oh, Nathan, you are so solid and warm.” He wiggled a little against my side and I felt my cock come instantly to life. He gently slid a hand around it and stroked me tenderly “And you’re so beautiful here, like rich dark chocolate.”

That comparison had never occurred to me but he made it sound like a real good thing. “Ezra, you got a way with words that takes my breath away. How sore are you really?”

He smiled at me. “Just a little sore, Nathan, the ride kind of made me stiffen up.”

“Un-huh, why don’t I just take a look to be sure the skin isn’t too irritated.” Sitting up, I lit the oil lamp by his bed and turned it down to a medium flame. Then I pulled him over my lap on his stomach so I could see what I was doing. The skin around his entrance looked red and chapped. That was completely unacceptable and I grabbed the jar of comfrey salve and began to dab it onto the tender skin.

“Oh, that feels nice, Nathan.” He relaxed completely probably only then realizing how much he’d been hurting.

“You need to tell me when there’s pain, Ezra. I’d hate myself if I ever hurt you again.” Very gently, I coated my longest finger and slid it inside of him. He wiggled a little and I smiled at his sensuous enjoyment of even this small touch. “You are beautiful here, Ez’ and I promise that in a couple of days if you still want me I’ll come back inside of you.”

He twisted his upper torso to look at me with the prettiest pout I’ve ever seen. “Not for two days?”

“Sorry, but I’ll be applying this salve twice a day until there’s no more redness and no sign of an ache. I’m trusting you to tell me if there is one.” I came back out and got some more salve to rub inside of him.

“I promise, Nathan.” He lay back down. “But we can still sleep with each other, can’t we? I mean . . . if you want to.”

“I surely do, Ezra but I think it’s time you came inside of me.” I told the back of his head and felt him go still and quiet. “I know how good it feels, you see, and I want to take you inside of me and feel all your strength concentrating on me.”

His voice was muffled. “You’re sure? I don’t have to ever come inside of you.”

And I thought I knew what he was thinking. He had to be worried that if he took me, it would remind me of being a powerless slave again. “Ezra, I’ve taken two men into my body. Once wasn’t my choice but the other time surely was wonderful.” I could tell he was listening closely and he was finally relaxing around my fingers. “I want to share my body with you like you’ve shared yours with me. Please?”

He was real quiet but when I slid my fingers out, he turned and sat up in my lap, those brilliant green eyes looking directly into mine. “I’m sorry that someone forced you. Will it feel good to you even though I’m not as big as you?”

Relief crashed through me. He was going to try. “Size isn’t what counts here, sweet Ezra. You’re a pretty fair shot with your guns, let’s see if your aim is good elsewhere.”

He blushed while he kissed me and when we were done I handed him the salve and asked him to use it to get me ready. Then I slid him off to one side while I rolled onto my stomach and rested my head on my arms, parting my legs and enticing him between them. The first touch of those hesitant fingers had my cock jumping up and taking notice. While he slowly prepared me, I rocked back a little onto those questing fingers that were making me ready for him.

Finally, he was ready and I was on my hands and knees softly begging him to come inside and put out the fire he’d started. And with one hard push, he was inside of me and we both paused to feel the sense of wonder that we were together. “Make love to me, sweet Ezra. Make me yours.”

I felt his lips lay a soft kiss between my shoulder blades then he pushed the rest of the way inside of me. Slowly at first, he pulled out then back in. When I gasped at the perfect angle of his stroke, I could hear the smile in his sigh. But then I was too busy trying not to groan out loud while he targeted my gland with single minded fervor.

He was too nervous to make it last for long but I felt his hand slide over my hip and take my cock in hand while he kept thrusting in. All too soon, I was climaxing in his hand while he froze inside of me, flooding me with his heat. I collapsed on the bed and he followed me down, warming my back with his body. He was silent and I wished I could see his face.

Had he enjoyed it? Would he want to do it again? Were we all right now he’d taken me? I was well on my way to worrying myself into a tizzy when I felt his tongue licking behind my ear. “I love you, Nathan. Did I hurt you at all?”

“Nope, Ezra, you made me feel wonderful. Thank you for sharing your strength with me.” I twisted my head a little so I could see him.

He smiled against my sweat-slick skin and kissed me. “Roll towards me so I can come out without hurting you.” He rocked back and forth a moment before popping out of me. “I’ll be right back, Nathan.”

I watched while he went to the dresser and wrung out a washcloth so he could come back and clean me up. Once he was sure that I was all right, he slid back into my arms and kissed my lips with more assurance than he’d yet displayed with me. When we had to breathe, I wondered what he was thinking while he shared the pillow with me.

“You felt good, Nathan. It was like being tied to you in a snowstorm when you can’t see a thing but you know you’re connected to someone who will keep you safe and lead you home.” He said shyly but firmly.

And I felt tears well. “That’s exactly the way it feels, Ezra. Home is where the heart is and my heart belongs to you.”

His eyes swam with tears but he sniffed them away. “I haven’t ever had a home, Nathan, not a real home. Are you sure?”

“Sure as sure can be, sweet Ezra, but we have all the time in the world. Let’s start by putting out the lamp and having a nice rest on this comfortable bed of yours. It surely does beat a pile of straw.” I sighed dramatically and listened to his chuckle. He was learning to open up and share himself. Sooner or later, we’d figure out the rest of our lives. I just knew between the two of us, our home was going to be a joyful place.

*****************


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a flu epidemic, Ezra takes care of Nathan.

Ezra  
**************** 

Nathan was still making the rounds of the sick when I went to the clinic. He’d been run off his feet by the influenza outbreak that struck Four Corners ten days earlier. Luckily, none of the Seven had succumbed and all did their best to help him in any way they could. But most of the work still fell on his broad shoulders. Letting myself in with the key he’d given me three months before, I checked first for messages and sighed with relief when I didn’t find any.

It had been two days without someone new getting sick and I prayed that we were over the worst of it. Elderly Mr. Gray had been one of the first to fall ill and when he died three days later Nathan had gotten very quiet. I didn’t know what to say to him or how to help him so I went to Josiah for advice. He told me to just be there for him. Hold him and tell him I loved him.

So I had. He’d been so tense in my arms at first then he’d begun to hold me, too. And the words had spilled out of him. All the things he wasn’t and all the knowledge he lacked to be a ‘real’ healer. I let him rant and rave until his words ran out. Then I told him all the things he was - warm, caring, compassionate, a man who healed with his very touch.

He’d cried then letting the tears wash away the pain and falling asleep in my arms. I held him all night long and thought about his great heart. I loved him more every day we were together and more than anything, I wished that we could be together all the time. Instead of sneaking in and out of each other’s room, I wanted to be there every morning to watch him come awake. I wanted to fall asleep held close in those strong arms that promised safety to me.

And love, he promised and gave me his love whenever he could, although we hadn’t made love since people started getting sick. I cleaned up the outer room of the small clinic before heading into the private room that belonged to my lover. The bed was still mussed from his restless sleep and I stripped it bare before putting on the clean sheets that I’d picked up from the laundry. I’d already filled the tin tub half full of water and I made sure that the stoves in both rooms were well stoked with wood. 

September had turned cool and rainy, contributing to the sickness that affected fully half of the town residents. I checked the three-gallon pots that I’d filled with water and found each of them beginning to steam. The bathhouse was closed because of the sickness and I wanted to give him the gift of a hot bath and clean sheets so he could sleep in peace. I pondered what else I could give him that would make him feel better and daringly, I removed my jacket and hung it on the hook by the door. Lighting the lamp, I placed it in the side window so he would know I was here.

Checking the stew on the back burner of the front room stove, I hurriedly set the table with the pretty white porcelain plates with the hand-painted violets that I’d found the month before in the back of Gloria Potter’s store. There were only three since one had broken in shipment so she let me have them cheaply along with the two cups and saucers that went with them. 

Inez had baked that afternoon so I had a basket of hot rolls for him wrapped in towels under the stove so they’d stay warm. It was a simple meal but one that I knew he’d like. My boots were already off and sitting by the door so I wouldn’t track mud on his floor. Mr. Larabee had promised to send Nathan home when he checked in at the jail the way he always did about this time.

Heading back into the bedroom, I made sure that the soap was near the tub and the towels were warming on the iron bar that fit on the side of the pot-bellied stove. I wanted everything perfect for him. The inner room was warming up and I took off my vest and folded it neatly on top of the dresser. Part of the bottom drawer had some of my clothes in it and I thought about that with a smile.

I liked the feeling of belonging that he gave me with every look and touch. And I loved the way he touched me. Sometimes his hands were so gentle that I ached for more. The first few times he came inside of me had hurt but it was a good pain that just reminded me of who was loving me. I’d not seen many men unclothed except for once in a while in the bathhouse and Nathan’s organ was bigger than any other I’d ever seen.

I loved touching the chocolate brown shaft and feeling it come to life in my pale hands. When he was fully hard, I could barely stretch my fingers around his girth. I had to really stretch to take more than just the flared helmet of his cock into my mouth but he loved it when I did that. I liked to get him all wet and slick with my tongue then slide him inside of me until his balls were flush to my nether cheeks.

That was when I felt the most loved by the remarkable man who held my heart in his warm hands. He possessed me heart and soul but I didn’t worry that he’d ever hurt me. That wasn’t possible for the gentle healer and I smiled at the thought of welcoming him home into my body after making sure that he was fed and clean.

The outer door opened and I prayed to Josiah’s God that it wasn’t a patient. Hurrying out I found Nathan taking off his coat and hanging it up, all the while looking around the warm room. “Ezra, what’s all this?”

“You’re cold, tired and hungry. It’s time for me to take care of you.” I crossed to him and knelt to take off his boots. He leaned against the door and let me, which told me just how tired he was. Then I took his hand and led him to the table. “Sit down and let me serve you dinner.”

He slid his arms around me and buried his face in the hollow of my shoulder and neck. “God, Ezra, I’m so tired I could go to sleep standing up.”

Turning towards him, I cradled him in my arms. “I know, Nathan, I know. Just let me take care of you and pretty soon I’ll tuck you into bed so you can sleep.”

He tried to smile at me but it was an effort, I could tell. “Something smells good.”

I sat him down and served him the steaming hot stew. Rescuing the rolls from under the stove, I unwrapped them and buttered one for him. He was waiting for his second bite of stew to cool so I was able to hold the roll to his lips and have him nip it from my fingers. He looked brighter with every bite and soon he was coaxing me to eat, too. I pulled the other chair close to him and we took turns feeding each other until the stew and rolls were gone.

“Sweet Ezra, you take good care of me.” He kissed me gently and I sucked his tasty tongue into my mouth to entwine with mine. 

But I could see he was barely keeping his eyes open so I pulled him to his feet and led him into his bedroom. The lamp on the dresser was turned low but when he saw the tub he groaned. “Ezra, you’re an angel of heaven.”

I chuckled and poured the first big kettle into the tub while he started unbuttoning his shirt with fumbling fingers. I hurried back to the other room and the other kettle, remembering to turn off the lamp in the outer room and lock the door. He was down to his pants when I came back in. Pouring the steaming water in, I tested it and found it just right.

By the time I’d refilled both kettles, he was settling in the tub with a groan of relief. I got the soap before he could and began to wash those broad shoulders with soapy hands. I massaged him too and felt him relax all over. Once his back was washed, he settled against the high tin back and let me wash his chest. His eyes were closed while I scrubbed him from top to bottom. His cock didn’t even twitch when I soaped his groin.

Poor Nathan was so tired that I think he might have even dozed off while I was washing him. I kissed him gently and felt him start awake. “Come up, Nathan and I’ll dry you off and tuck you in.”

“I think you’re going to have to help me up, Ezra. I feel like all my muscles have turned to mush.” He blinked at me sleepily and I fell in love all over again.

“Coming up, Nathan.” I’m stronger than I look and I soon had him standing up so I could towel him dry. When he stepped out of the tub, I knelt and dried those long, strong legs of his while his lax cock nestled in the dark hair at his groin. I kissed it tenderly while I stood up and hugged him close.

“Stay, Ezra. Sleep with me tonight.” His eyes were at half-mast and I had to hold him up while urging him to the bed. The covers were turned back and I tucked him in with a soft kiss to his lips. “Stay?”

“I’ll be here when you wake up, Nathan. I promise.” I stroked his hair and he fell asleep with a smile on his face. I watched him for a long moment before getting up to take my own bath. I washed all over and then emptied the tub one kettle at a time until I could pick it up and drain it in the sink in the other room. I tidied everything away before coming back into the bedroom. 

Watching him sleep, I thought about what I wanted us to do when he was rested. We’d discovered that the liniment that he made up for Josiah worked well for making our passages slick enough for penetration. We kept a bottle by both our beds so no matter where we were, we never lacked for lubricant. I uncorked the new bottle that I’m made up while I was waiting for him. Stretching one leg to the top of the three-foot tall dresser, I began to smooth the lotion inside of me.

That always made me feel quite wanton and I stretched a little more to spread the thick lotion deeper. Hurting me was not an option for my tender lover and I wanted him inside of me more than I’d ever wanted anything. Once I felt pleasantly slick, I set the bottle on the table near my side of the bed in case we needed it. Then I slipped under the covers next to him.

He turned to me in his sleep pulling me close and I smiled at his unconscious possession. If I was very lucky, Nathan would keep me by his side forever. I slid my arms around him and closed my tired eyes. Sending up another prayer to Josiah’s God, I asked for an entire night with no emergencies so he could sleep himself out.

We slept almost eight hours straight and I slipped from his arms at dawn to go and check for messages under the front door. Josiah had patrol and he’d promised that he’d let us know if anyone needed Nathan. But the floor was empty and I breathed a sigh of relief. I put the teakettle on and peeled some oranges for our breakfast. I’d never known Nathan to sleep much past six thirty so he’d probably be awake shortly and I wanted to be ready.

I warmed the teapot and put in my favorite tea to steep. Some of the rolls were left over and I spread them with butter and added some honey for sweetness. Carrying the tray back into the bedroom, I found that Nathan had moved to my side of the bed probably in search of my warmth. Smiling, I set the tray down on the side table and slipped back under the covers.

He was twitching a little and I slid my hand down to see if he’d awoken with his usual morning erection. He had and I grinned to myself while I burrowed under the blankets to his groin for my favorite breakfast. He tasted of brine but that didn’t matter to me. It was royal ambrosia to my tongue and I wrapped my mouth around as much of him as I could. He twitched again and I knew he’d be waking up soon. I wanted to pleasure him first since he was usually the one who woke up first on those rare occasions that we spent the whole night together.

“Ezra.” The sleepy murmur of my name made me suck a little harder and I heard him groan. “Sweet Ezra, I missed you so much.”

I had a mouthful but I echoed his sentiment with a hum that had his hips lifting. But I was lying on his legs so he couldn’t move too far. His hands came down and carded through my hair while I relaxed my throat and got a little more of him inside of me. He was too long and thick for me to take all of him in like he did for me but he’d told me how much he liked it when I tasted him so I kept trying.

“Ezra, I need you.” His voice had a pout in it if I’d ever heard one and I chuckled around him while I tested to see if he was hard enough to come inside of me.

So, I let him slowly fall from my lips while obeying the tug of his hands up. His lips took mine with fervor and I straddled his hips with anticipation, my hands still holding onto the cock that I wanted so badly. And with only a little wiggle, the broad crown popped through my outer muscle while we both groaned. It felt like the first time all over again and I shook with the unexpected pain of his entry.

But I wanted him with all my heart so I persevered and he soon slid deep inside of me.

“Ezra, are you all right? You feel so tight.” Worried brown eyes met mine and I smiled down at him.

“It feels like the first time again. I like the way you stretch me wide with your beautiful cock. I never would have thought that I could ever take something so big inside of me.” I wiggled a little and felt the pulse in his cock vibrate through my channel walls. “When you’re inside of me, I feel like I’m a part of you, like your hand or your leg.”

“Sweet Ezra, you carry my heart inside of you.” He touched my face gently and I turned just enough to lay a kiss in his hardworking palm. “Sometimes I think you carry my soul as well.”

“Do you . . . regret that?” The sudden fear came out of nowhere.

“No! Never regret loving you. Not ever.” He pulled me closer and scattered kisses over my face. “Never, ever regret this.”

I finally smiled again, the fear subsiding back into the bottom of my mind where the nightmares still lived. “I love you, Nathan and I’ll never stop. I wish we could be together all the time.”

And I gasped at my inadvertent speaking aloud of my dearest wish. But he was smiling at me with that bright smile I loved. “That’s exactly what I was thinking, Ezra. The storeroom just beyond this room could stand a good cleaning out. If we built some more shelves and put everything in this room, we could move back there for more privacy while keeping a narrow bed in this room for ‘your’ supposed bed. The way we’ve been working together has already prepared the townspeople for you moving in.”

“Do you really think it would be all right?” I wanted to believe him. “I want to be with you always.”

He thrust up just a little and I gasped at the heat. “I want you for always, too. Some days I just want to lock the door and tell the rest of the world to go away while I love you.”

I began to rock on the hard cock that filled me so well using my thigh muscles to raise and lower myself on the hot flesh that impaled me. He was murmuring my name with every thrust and I could feel sweat break out on my back every time he slid over my gland. I was burning everywhere and only panting brought in enough air to keep me conscious.

His hands held my hips and our rhythm almost broke when he pulled down and thrust up at the same time I boiled over and spurted my seed over his stomach and chest. My contractions almost made him come too but he stilled with what had to be superhuman effort. My hands on his chest were all that held me upright and when the pulsing calmed a little, I smoothed my fingers over the dark brown nipples that peaked for me so nicely.

“Ezra, I’ll make you sore.” He tried to pull me off of him but I clamped my knees to his hips and refused to move. “Ezra?”

“It’s been a week, Nathan. I need you inside of me for a long time to make up for all the times I had to do without you. You can’t come out of me until I’ve gotten hard again.” I told him sternly, with the grin he calls sassy.

“Really?” His eyes sparkled again after much too long. “I guess that I’ll just have to get you hard again then. I wonder how I could do that?”

I squeezed my inner muscles around him, the way he’d taught me. Those exercises had been fun to learn since we practiced with his fingers first and then with his cock. He groaned and then rolled us over so he was on top of me but still embedded in my ass. He kissed me again as if we hadn’t kissed in days and I felt him pulse inside me like a second heartbeat.

He grabbed one of the pillows and slid it under my hips so my back was protected. Then he began the gentle rocking that filled me with warmth while kissing me everywhere he could reach. I went back to pinching his nipples and rolling them with my fingers until they were hard and aching. That always made him lose control a little and soon he was thrusting in with all his strength while my cock hardened between our stomachs.

“Nathan!” His thrusts felt deeper than they’d ever been before and I writhed on the sheets while he possessed me completely. I began to squirt between us at almost the same moment that he flooded my bowels with his heat. For a moment, I wondered what it would be like to be a woman and have his seed deep inside of me.

What would it be like to combine his seed and mine to make a child, a child with his beauty and strength? How would it feel to carry our child inside of me for long months until he or she was born? Having seen the aftermath of a miscarriage and the long pain of a labor that came too soon, I was glad that I couldn’t. Although a small part of my heart ached to know that joy that attended a healthy birth. 

“Sweet Ezra, you love me so good.” He was still scattering kisses over my face and I opened my mouth to draw him in there too.

I sucked on his tongue and took that rich taste inside of me with relish. Maybe some day, I’d tell him of my fantasy. He was softening a little and I knew that all too soon he’d slip from my body and leave me empty again. Until the next time I enticed him back. He rolled us again so I was on top of him and he slid gently from me. I whimpered and his hands immediately turned me while he sat up in make sure he hadn’t hurt me. Stretched across his lap, I felt his callused fingers part my cheeks and check for blood in the trickles that leaked from me.

“You scared me, sweet cheeks.” He smoothed his hands over my ass and I wiggled while throwing him a saucy look over my shoulder. “I think you’re going to have to stay right here while I feed you this delicious breakfast that you made for us. Where did the oranges come from?”

“Mrs. Potter got them in and gave me some to bring to you. She swears by them and says they’re why she didn’t get sick.” I accepted an orange slice from his fingers making sure that I nipped the salty digits before letting them go.

“Well, she may be right. I’ve heard that sailors get sick if they don’t have citrus fruit on their long ocean voyages. And she must have nursed half a dozen people since this epidemic began. Chris said that the same influenza hit Downers Peak and they have almost a dozen dead already.” He shivered and I sat up so I could hold him close.

“You’re a better doctor than that quack with his license will ever be. I think it’s because you make sure everything is kept clean. No disease stands a chance when you help your patients.” I declared with a glare in case he thought fit to argue but he was too busy squeezing me close and kissing me hard.

Eventually we had to breathe and he stroked my cheek gently. “We were lucky this time.” He laid a finger over my lips to stop my protest and I promptly sucked it into my mouth. He blinked and seemed to lose his train of thought for a moment but then he continued. “But cleanliness does seem to be a factor whether it’s flu or babies or any of the other things that people need a doctor for. I wish there were something I could read about that. Surely some one else has noticed the effect of washing on the severity of a disorder?”

“If there is then we’ll find it.” I declared and fed him another orange slice. I loved seeing him think out a problem. If he’d been born white, he’d be the best doctor to have ever graduated from medical school. I mourned the profession’s loss but rejoiced that he’d come west instead so he could love me.

I poured a cup of tea and he drank from one side then held it to my lips for me to drink. We finished the oranges, the tea and even the rolls while he thought hard and I stroked his cock back to life.

“Ezra, is there something you’d like?” He came back to me in a rush while I held onto his cock with both hands, smearing a tear of seed over the velvet soft crown.

“You, I always want you and you want me too.” I leaned in and kissed him slowly, slipping my tongue between his lips to tickle the roof of his mouth. That always made him laugh and I wanted him to have fun this morning.

“You’re so right, Ezra, I always want you, but you’ll be too sore if I come back inside you now.” He shivered under my strokes and I pushed him back onto the bed, holding him there.

“No I won’t, Nathan. I’ve been missing you so much that you’ll just have to satisfy me all over again. I’m a very demanding lover and only you meet my very high standards. I need your strength and gentleness deep inside of me.” I reached back and guided him to my small hole, wiggling him through the sore muscle with a sigh of relief when he was inside. 

“There’s nothing like your heat, Ezra.” His eyes were half-closed and his smile told me that I was the only person in his world right now.

“And there’s nothing like your warm . . . column of . . . pulsing flesh impaling me. No one knows how big you are and how sweetly you fill me to the brim.” I rocked a little and felt that pulse. “I feel very smug sometimes when I remember that I’m the only one you want, too. All of your strength and beauty are mine when ever I can get you alone.”

His hips were moving again and I rode him more confidently than ever before. “You are the only one I want, Ezra. I see you and I feel incredibly lucky that I’m the only one who gets to taste your sweetness. Part of me wants to shout ‘I love you, Ezra P. Standish’ to the whole world. But most of me just wants to keep you close to me and never let you go.”

“Yes.” I smiled at him and leaned down to kiss him. His hands stroked over my ass cheeks while he thrust up gently again and again. We’d come so often that this would be a long, slow almost lazy bout of lovemaking.

We made it last a long time before he thrust up and made me come following me a moment later into release. He rolled us to our sides and we rested until he came out naturally. This time he made me stay flat while he got hot water to clean us up. The front door still had no messages under it and we napped together for another hour before getting up to finish the stew. We ate naked at the small table while I sat on Nathan’s lap.

Debating another bath, we both heard the scratch at the door and the dreaded note slipped under it. I sighed and got up to get it for him but both our names were on it. He pulled me down onto his lap and read over my shoulder.

_Nathan and Ezra,_

_Everything is fine and everybody is feeling better.  
Take the rest of the day off but meet us for dinner   
at the saloon about six o’clock. Inez says she’s   
cooking chicken and we’ve got a bottle of whiskey  
with your names on it._

_Josiah, JD, Buck, Chris and Vin_

We smiled at each other and Nathan picked me up, carrying me back to our bedroom. Another nap and maybe another session of lovemaking and we’d be ready to meet our friends for dinner. I wound my arms around his neck and listened to his laughter. I was the luckiest man in the world and soon I’d be in our bed forever and not just once in awhile.

We straightened the sheets from the mess we’d made earlier then slid under the covers and into each other’s arms. I sighed his name and felt his lips at my temple, murmuring mine. I’d never felt so loved and I nestled closer to the furnace that was my lover with a happy yawn.

Our friends would just have to wait. We were busy loving each other.

***************


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathan and Ezra finally move in together.

Nathan  
****************** 

I hadn’t been this excited in a long time. Hell, maybe I’d never been this excited. Ezra was finally moving in with me and I could hardly wait. The business in the storefront beneath the clinic had gone belly-up and I’d petitioned the City Council to move the clinic down to the main floor. Some of the older citizens spoke up on my behalf and told the Council that it was hard for them to climb the stairs to get to me.

It was approved with a unanimous ‘yes’ vote and everybody pitched in to help us make the downstairs into a small waiting room; three rooms for patients; a workroom where I could make up my syrups, oils and liniments; and a storage room at the back where I could store supplies. The well that provided the upstairs water worked on the ground floor too so we had everything we needed. Josiah built shelves for the storage rooms both up and downstairs. I wanted to keep any drugs I had in a safer place than the room at the back even though Chris had helped us install iron bars over the windows.

Upstairs, we’d turned the old clinic into a common room with a table that held all of the seven, a wood stove so Ezra could cook and two comfortable chairs that Buck and JD had built for us. Ezra and I liked to read and it helped a lot to have someplace where the lamp between us was placed just right. My room had become our room and the back storage room we fitted up with a real porcelain tub. We still had to heat the water on the stoves but with a drainpipe down to the lower level, we didn’t have to empty it by hand anymore.

Ezra had been slowly moving his things over to our place and today was the day he moved the very last items into our home. I looked around the space and wondered how I’d gotten so lucky. For a former slave, I’d come a very long way. I was a respected member of the community, I got to help people in their time of need, I had six of the best friends in the world and I had a lover who loved me with every fiber of his being.

Lucky didn’t begin to cover it.

I’d taken to going to Josiah’s church every evening to say a prayer of thanksgiving and like as not, I’d find Ezra there already praying. The townspeople had been a little wary when he started helping me but Mrs. Potter had staunchly supported us and even Nettie had come around when she saw how hard he worked during the influenza epidemic. I shivered whenever I thought of that dark time.

I hate it when I lose a patient. When Mr. Gray died, I felt like such a failure. I knew my silence was frightening Ezra but when he sat me down and held me, telling me that he loved me with all his heart, I finally broke down and spilled out all my fears to him. He listened gravely and when I was done ranting, he smiled and told me all the things that he loved about me.

He even wrote back to New York City and got a subscription under his name to the Journal of American Medical Association, JAMA for short. I’d wanted to know what doctors were writing about and that journal surely did have a lot of case studies and such telling me what worked and what didn’t. Neither of us knew some of the big words that they used so he wrote off and got two books called Gray’s Anatomy and Stedman’s Dictionary of Medicine. They helped a lot although sometimes it felt like translating a foreign language.

Josiah had built a real pretty bookcase for the common room so’s we’d have a place to put all the books that we were collecting. I walked out there and just looked around at the space that would be holding us safe through the winter, which was steadily approaching. Ezra and Vin had painted the room a creamy white, which made it look a whole lot bigger. The furniture must have been moved a hundred times until Ezra was satisfied that it looked just right.

Mrs. Potter had sewn up some real pretty curtains in white and green with green tiebacks that we only used on the side window. It seemed cozier when they were pulled across the glass, sealing out the gray skies outside. The chairs around the long table were all different since each of us had provided one for it. Ezra had just laughed and painted them all green. Inez had contributed some brightly painted tiles for the table top so hot dishes didn’t blister the wood. It looked real festive even if none of the dishes but two matched each other.

Kind of like the Seven, they were all different. Shaking my head, I wondered back into our bedroom and made sure that everything was ready for him. He’d surprised me with a bath that night I was so weary and I wanted to surprise him too. I’d struck a deal with Mr. Brewster, the farrier to make us another stove with a wide top surface so we could get two three-gallon kettles on top right where we needed them, by the tub. They were steaming away along with the one in the bedroom.

It would be our first bath in the new claw foot bathtub and I wanted it to be just as nice as the one he’d given me. I even had some bath oil that he’d told me about. Mrs. Potter had ordered it for me and when it came she’d slipped it into my jacket pocket with a stern shake of her head when I wanted to pay her. Four Corners surely did have some good people living here.

The towels were warming and the spruce bath oil was in the half-full tub. I folded back the blankets on our new bed and looked at it with a big smile. We’d ordered two single mattresses and people just assumed that meant we had two beds but Josiah had built a platform for us where the mattresses lay side by side so the width almost filled the room with bed. In a pinch, the platform separated into two if say, Maude ever came through town again.

I shook my head. That woman had done more harm to Ezra that I liked but in her own way, I think she loved him. What she would think about the two of us didn’t bear thinking about. We’d just have to deal with that if it ever happened. Right now, I didn’t want to think about her but about my tardy lover. Going back to the front room, I looked at the chiming clock that Judge Travis had given me for my care of his grandson. It was after five and Ezra should have been here by now.

But before I could get too worried, the outer door opened and revealed him juggling two bags and a package. Hurrying to help, I pulled him in and shut the door behind him. I grabbed the heavy box and set it on the table before he could drop it. He let both bags drop with a sigh of relief and then I had him in my arms. Kissing him never gets boring and this one was no exception.

He tasted of whiskey and I could just guess who had delayed him. Buck liked to get in all the teasing he could and he’d probably grabbed the chance to make Ezra blush. But then he should have helped him with the heavy box, I frowned.

“What’s wrong, Nathan?” The worried note reminded me that he could read my moods better and better lately.

“Nothing really. Why didn’t Buck help you carry everything?”

Those dimples of his appeared and it was all I could do not to kiss him again. “I wouldn’t let him. The box only appeared when Mrs. Potter hailed me outside the store and gave it to me. She wanted to help but I didn’t want her to have to walk outside. It’s starting to rain again.”

I didn’t care if it was snowing. Ezra was here and we weren’t going out again until the next day. I had him all to myself tonight and if I had my way, we weren’t going to get out of bed until we had to. “Then I think it’s time for our bath. Your clothes are wet and I don’t want you to catch a chill.”

His eyes lit up and he hugged me tighter. “How wonderful that sounds.”

“Then close your eyes, I have a surprise for you.” I knelt and tugged off his boots first. “Your sock is wet. We’ll have to see about getting that boot repaired.” His toes were cold even through his socks and I stood to draw him into the bedroom.

“It’s nice and toasty in here.” He had closed his eyes and it struck me once again how much he trusted me.

“Only the best for my Ezra.” I told him and watched the blush blossom on his cheeks. “Now, you just stand still while I undress you.” He chuckled but let me peel off all those layers that hid his tempting body. Suddenly I needed to see his skin and I all but ripped his shirt off of him. His pants were next and those soft silk drawers that slid so easily off his slender hips. And there was his beautiful cock already lifting towards me. I kissed the crown and felt him jerk in my hands.

His hands came to my head and slid through my hair slowly. “You feel so good, Nathan. May we go to bed and not rise again until morning?”

I sucked him into my mouth and tickled the crown with my tongue while he swayed above me. Letting him go I kissed it again before rising to lift him in my arms. “We are not getting out of bed until we have to. But first we’re going to take a bath.”

Carrying him into the bathroom, I set him down by the tub and saw him cock his head to listen to what I was doing. The sound of the first kettle of hot water hitting the room temperature tub made him shiver with delight. The second kettle had him sniffing at the unfamiliar scent of bath oil released by the heat.

“What is that, Nathan?”

“It’s part of your surprise, Ezra. Wait one more minute.” I told him and hurried out to get the last kettle. With two of us in the six-foot tub, the water level should be just right. Coming back in I saw Ezra kneeling by the tub and swishing his hands through the faintly green water. He was taking deep breaths and smiling but his eyes were still closed.

I poured in the last three gallons and he shivered. “Ezra, are you cold?”

“No, Nathan, just really, really ready for this bath.” He rose and hugged me close. “I love the way you take care of me.”

“I love taking care of you, sweet Ezra. And it’s no better than the way that you watch over me.” I lifted him up and set him in the faintly steaming water. He groaned and sat down with a bit of a splash.

“Oh, this is heaven. But only if you come in too. May I open my eyes now?” He was looking up at me but they were still closed.

“Yes, open them and look at me.” I commanded softly and his eyelids flew up. Slowly, I unbuttoned my shirt and let it fall to the floor, then I pushed my pants down over my hips and stepped out of them while those great big green eyes got that sultry look that hardens my cock faster than anything.

“You’re so beautiful, Nathan. Sometimes I think that all that lovely dark brown skin glows brighter than the sun.” He held out his hand and I took it while stepping into the tub. The oil made it a little slippery and I made a mental note for us to be more careful when we used it. I didn’t want any accidents spoiling our time together.

“You’re the beautiful one, Ezra. Your skin feels like satin under my fingers.” I slid back against the sloping end and pulled him into my arms so he lay all along my front. Our cocks began that familiar slide against each other but it felt different some how and I realized that was the oil slicking us.

“Oh, Nathan, you feel so good. Hold me tight and don’t ever let go.” His eyes were tear-bright for some reason and I thought that maybe the weather had depressed him.

“Never letting you go, Ezra. Did I forget to tell you that I belong to you now and you just have to take care of me for always?” I kissed the dimple in his cheek then the one on the other side of his mouth before pressing my lips to his.

He parted for me at once and I surged inside of him just like I wanted to do a little lower down. My hands slid over his back and over those lily-white cheeks of his, the tips of my fingers skimming over the crevice that hid his entrance from me. His legs fell to either side of my hips exposing the little hole to me while he moaned into our kiss and slid his arms around my neck, trying to pull us closer together.

But we were just about as close as we could get already without me coming inside of him. I slid a single finger past that tight muscle that guarded his channel and he wiggled all over, turning my cock to an iron hardness that stabbed his stomach. Finally we had to breathe and the fire in his eyes should have warned me that he was going to take me in hand. 

“Get me ready for you, Nathan. Fill the empty spot inside of me with all that lovely hot flesh.”

Something in the way he said flesh made me want to take him right then. But pain wasn’t an option for us so I slid in another finger and scissored them until the muscle loosened. He only waited a moment once I’d taken my fingers out before lifting up and settling on my cock with only a slightly pained look on his face. I held him steady above me for a moment, waiting for the look to disappear then slowly he sank down until his cheeks hit my hips.

That is always the moment when we look at each other as if to say ‘how did we get so lucky to find each other’? His walls were tight around me and his heat seared me with a fire I know only with him. His fingers came down to play with my nipples and he got an odd look on his face.

“Did I ever tell you of my favorite fantasies, Nathan?” He said while he used those strong leg muscles to rise up before sliding down again. 

“I’d love to hear them, Ezra.” I added a little thrust up as he was coming down and watched his face break into his brightest smile. Several moments passed while we played but we kept it slow so we could enjoy it. There is nothing like being in him and some days I wish I could just stay inside of him.

“I have an ache deep inside of me that no doctor has ever been able to explain. While traveling west, I hear of a wonderful doctor who practices in a small town. So, I stop my travels and try to make an appointment to see him. But he is completely booked for two weeks so I have to wait.” He lathered the soap in his hands and washed my chest slowly. “Everyone tells me that Doctor Jackson sometimes knows what is wrong with someone just by looking at them. I find myself thinking of the good doctor all day and all night. In fact I begin to dream about him and wake up with the ache that’s growing worse and worse.”

It was my turn to wash him and it felt distinctly odd to be inside of him while we were washing each other. With careful maneuvering, I laid him back while I washed his legs then wrapped them around my waist. I pulsed within him and fisted his cock while he moaned over and over. Then with a cry I’d never heard from him before, he came in my hand and slumped in my arms. I was worried for a moment but he was already stirring and shaking his head.

“Good heavens, Nathan, it felt like lightning struck me.” He was still shaking but he cupped my chin in his hand and lightly kissed my lips. “You are so wonderful.” 

“If I am, it’s because it’s you in my arms.” I told him and watched his eyes light up. “I think maybe this bath is over for now. I want to hear the rest of your fantasy someplace not so slippery.”

He laughed and wiggled just enough to unseat me from his depths. We both moaned at that loss of connection. But then we were getting out of the tub cautiously and drying each other slowly while kissing each new bit of skin within range of our lips. While I was drying his back, he grabbed the bottle of liniment and cast a flirtatious look over his shoulder at me.

“We need to finish my fantasy in the front room. We’ve never made love there.” He pulled out of my arms and started backing through the bedroom door while I followed him as if an invisible cord bound us together. “Finally, the day of my appointment arrives and I wash myself meticulously and wear my very best suit. It’s late in the day and no one else is waiting but me. I’m too nervous to read and it feels as if the clock has stopped ticking completely when the door opens and a tall dark man looks down at me with the wisest eyes.”

Ezra hopped up on the table and spread his legs wide, pulling me towards him and filling his hands with liniment so he could glove my cock with slippery fingers. I was mesmerized by his fantasy and I waited for him to tell me more.

“Well, I’d never seen such a beautiful man in my life and I didn’t know what to say but you spoke first. ‘Mr. Standish, I am Dr. Jackson. Please come with me.’ I get up to follow you and you lead me to one of the examination rooms and ask me to take off all my clothes. I’m embarrassed but determined to do anything you say. When I’m fully naked, you help me up on the examination table and part my legs just like they are right now. ‘I’m going to check certain parts of your body first, Mr. Standish. What does it feel like when I touch you here?’ And you pinch my nipples gently then harder while I pant out something, I’m not sure what. ‘Let me see if your testicles are the right size, Mr. Standish.’ And you lift my cock out of the way while taking my balls gently in your warm fingers.”

I followed his directions and pinched his nipples to lovely pink peaks before rolling those beautifully sized testicles between my fingers. His cock was already lifting towards me and I transferred some of the liniment to it while he gasped and wiggled just a little. And that’s when I decided to take a more active part of this fantasy.

“Very good, Mr. Standish, they’re just the right size. Now I see you have some swelling here. Has this happened before?” I slowly stroked his cock and he blushed shyly.

“No, Dr. Jackson, it’s never done that before. Is it something serious?” He looked at me earnestly but his fingers were tweaking my nipples to hard peaks.

“It could be, Mr. Standish. Now I need to check something else so I need you to lay down on the table for me.” I cushioned his back with my hands and stole a kiss from shy lips. Our tongues mated for a brief moment then I drew back a little. “Well, your temperature is normal.”

He shot me a wicked look from such an innocent face. “I’ve never had my temperature taken that way before, Dr. Jackson. That was much nicer than a cold thermometer.”

“Yes, I prefer that method with certain special patients. Now, I’m going to place your legs over my shoulders so I can check your pulse.” I pulled him closer to the edge of the table and discovered that my cock would be perfectly placed to slide right inside of him. “That’s better. Are you comfortable, Mr. Standish?”

“I’m fine, Dr. Jackson. The ache though is getting worse. It’s deep inside of me.” He slid his hands over mine and transferred more lotion to my fingers.

“I think I know what the ache is, Mr. Standish and I’m going to check for it now. Just hold still for me.” I laid a hand flat on his taut stomach muscles and slowly slid my index finger through his entrance. “Your pulse is a little fast, Mr. Standish. Has no one ever told you that?”

“No one has ever touched me there, Doctor.” His eyes were that sultry green that makes me want to bury myself inside of him and never come out again.

“Ah, well, let me just check something else before I give you my diagnosis.” I slid two fingers in and hunted for the gland that gives such pleasure. His gasp told me that I’d found it and I rubbed it several times before coming out. “Well, I think you came to me just in time, Mr. Standish. I have a medicine that will cure the ache, if you will permit me give it to you?”

“Oh please, Dr. Jackson, anything to put out the fire inside of me.” He wiggled closer to the edge of the table and I chuckled.

“Very well, open wide for me so I can deliver the medicine where it will do the most good.” I spread his cheeks wide and nudged his small hole with the head of my cock. He whimpered when I just rubbed it there for a long moment but then I pushed hard and thrust inside with a single deep thrust that had my balls hitting the table edge. He moaned but when I checked I could see it was a good moan.

“Oh, Dr. Jackson, you’re right where the ache is. How do you spread the medicine inside of me?” He smiled at me and flexed those inner muscles around me while I bit back a groan.

“It will take a few moments, Mr. Standish but then I promise that I’ll deliver the medicine right where you need it.” I steadied myself then began the volley of thrusts that would please both of us.

The table shook a little with the power of my thrusts but it was sturdily made and stayed put. Ezra was using his hands to hold onto the edge while my hands held his hips tight. I felt the little ripples along his channel walls that told me he was close and that was good news because I could feel my climax rising up ready to explode out of me.

He was chanting my name over and over while I thrust once more and released deep inside of him. He froze and released between us with long spurts of hot seed. I let his legs drop to my arms so I could lean in to kiss him. His arms came around my neck, pulling me closer and we kissed slowly while our bodies quieted. Finally we had to breathe and I rested on my arms while he began to laugh.

“I’ll be blushing so hard the next time we have everyone over to eat that Buck will tease me unmercifully.” Ezra chuckled. “But I must say, Dr. Jackson, that terrible ache is all gone. I guess I’ll just have to stay with you so you can deliver your miracle medicine regularly.”

“Damn right, Ezra P. Standish. A chronic conditions such as yours will need daily infusions.” I kissed him again and he sucked my tongue into his mouth where it could entwine with his. But we were cooling down and I didn’t want him to catch a cold. Besides his body was slowly pushing me out and we were going to make a mess when I did. “Ezra, we need to move or it’s going to take more than bleach to clean this table.”

He nodded but pointed to the chair where a towel was hanging. “I was hoping that you’d like this fantasy so I prepared just in case.”

“I like the way you look ahead.” I popped out and hurriedly caught the trickles before helping him to sit up. “How’s your back?”

“I may need a massage.” He leaned against me and looped his arms around my neck. “I have more fantasies?”

“Does one of them have to do with a man with big hands and a bottle of liniment?” I teased him, picking him up and carrying him back to the bedroom.

“Why yes one does, how ever did you know?” He attacked my ear and bit the lobe gently. “But mostly I just like the story about two men who found each other against all the odds and built a wonderful life together.”

I held him close and looked into those beautiful emerald eyes. “That’s my favorite story too, Ezra. Let’s retell it over and over.”

He nodded and rested his head on my shoulder. “But the one where I get pregnant is kind of fun too.”

“What?”

****************


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, the dark side seduced me and here’s the pregnant-Ezra story. Need I remind you that this is a dream? This is only a dream. 

Ezra  
****************** 

I smiled and tipped my hat to Mrs. Harper and Mrs. Gray before continuing to the jail. It was late afternoon and I’d finished my shift at the clinic so betook myself to the place where the others of our group often met. I was hoping Nathan would come home. He’d had to ride out to the Wellings the day before to check on Mrs. Welling who was due any day now. I knew he’d be gone at least one day and night but I ached to have him with me. I don’t sleep at all well when he’s not there. Sometimes I wondered how I’d slept before he took me in. Only in his arms did good dreams and peaceful sleep, come to me.

Opening the door, I came upon JD sitting on Buck’s lap behind the desk. They were not discussing the weather. In fact they weren’t talking at all. “Gentlemen, what if I’d been Mrs. Travis?”

“She’s away.” Buck said simply and held JD a little closer. They were still quite new and I remembered with a smile what it had been like with Nathan six short months ago. We’d had to sneak around for almost three months before we finally found a way to be together all the time.

We must have kissed in every place in town that had a door to shield us.

It was much better now that we lived and worked together. I checked the clock and sighed. He was probably staying another night with the Welling family. I hoped Mrs. Welling and her baby were all right and no problems were brewing. For some reason Four Corners was having a baby boom right now. Half the patients I’d seen this afternoon had been under the age of one. 

“You look tired, Ez. Something wrong?” Buck looked concerned.

I shook my head. “I don’t sleep well without Nathan. I was hoping he’d be here by now but he must be staying over again.”

“Hey, Ez’, are Josiah and your mother still gone?” JD asked and I shivered slightly.

Maude had appeared out of nowhere, taken one look at my new arrangement, professed to be very disappointed in me and then whisked Josiah off on a short trip. I feared for our preacher, I really did. And yet, I was rather betting on him this time. Mother might have bitten off more than she could chew.

“They are still away. I can hardly wait to see how their . . . trip turns out.” I sighed.

“It would be kind of nice if they got together.” JD said with a grin while Buck and I looked at him with dismay. “Well, look at all of us. I’ve got Buck, Vin has Chris, you have Nathan but Josiah doesn’t have anybody. They’re both nice people and it would be great if Josiah was your stepfather. He already loves you like a son.”

“Yes, but . . .” I sputtered. “But Mother?”

“She could do a lot worse, Ezra.” Buck said judiciously. “Josiah might just settle her down some. And who knows, maybe she’d give you a little brother after all these years.”

“Good God.” Words failed me. Mother pregnant . . . with Josiah’s child. Actually, when I stopped to think about it, that sounded rather nice. Of course she was older and there were risks of a woman of 38 having another child. But Nathan would give her excellent care and we’d all be there for her. “Good heavens, I’m actually considering my mother getting pregnant. This is insane. Good afternoon, gentlemen, I’m going home.”

They were laughing so hard they almost fell out of the chair and the sound of their laughter followed me out into the cold day. I pulled my jacket a little closer and knew that Nathan would scold me for not wearing something heavier. Actually, I didn’t own anything for winter, having spent most of the previous ones in warmer climates. Hurrying up the outside stairs, I opened the door to our home with a sigh.

It felt good to close out the elements and hang up my coat. Taking off my boots, I stood them under my jacket and went to check the stoves. Adding a little more wood, I contemplated what to have for dinner, without Nathan to share it, I wasn’t all that excited about cooking.

The sudden heat after the cold air outside was making me sleepy so I went into our bedroom and undressed. Maybe I could catch a nap for now and when I awoke, Nathan would be here. Hanging everything up, I crawled under the pretty quilt that Mrs. Black had made for us. I would always have a fondness for the Black’s even though it was the death of her baby that had brought Nathan and me together.

Closing my eyes, I chuckled at the silly thought of Mother being pregnant by Josiah. Those two were the silliest couple I’d ever thought of. How strange to have a brother after all these years, as if I didn’t already have five assorted brothers among the seven of us. The stove hissed comfortingly and I yawned wide before falling fast asleep.

***** 

_“Oh God, Ezra, you’re so tight.” Nathan’s voice was strained as he fucked me into the quilt. I had no words left in me after pleading continuously for the last half-hour for him to fuck me harder. With a final thrust, he impaled me on his cock and flooded me with his hot seed. It raced through my body and filled me with his life while I came so hard that if felt like I imploded._

_His heavy weight made me feel safe and loved. His slow deliberate kisses made me feel like the most beautiful man in the world. No matter that we’d already been together for six months, this time felt special. “Love you, Nathan.”_

_“I love you too, Ezra. Damn, who knew those strange lights in the sky would make everybody so horny? Vin had a gleam in his eyes that betoken a thorough fucking for Chris. And Josiah actually picked your mother up and ran up the church steps. Nine months from now, I’m going to be a busy man, sweet cheeks. Am I too heavy?” His deep voice held a note of concern but I just smiled and held him closer._

_“Nope, I don’t want you to ever move, Nathan. I want you to stay inside of me forever.” My legs were clasped around his waist and my arms surrounded those broad shoulders that carried so many burdens. “It feels like you’re so deep within me that your seed went straight to my heart.”_

_“If I could, sweet Ezra, then I would give you my seed where ever you wanted it.” He slowly kissed every inch of skin on my face, leaving my lips to last. But then he feasted on them until we were bruised and aching. “Don’t let me hurt you now, sweet cheeks.”_

_I pouted when he slipped from me but I noticed that no trickles came out and I wondered why for a moment. However, Nathan was already picking me up to carry me in for a bath and I soon forgot about the oddity._

_*****_

_I threw up into the sink as quietly as I could, hurrying to rinse it away before Nathan could see it and worry. For the last three months, I’d had a most recalcitrant stomach. Some days it wanted to eat everything in sight but on the bad days, it didn’t want anything other than tea and dry toast._

_“Ezra, are we going over to Josiah and Maude’s tonight?” Nathan’s voice came from the bedroom and I quickly pumped some water to wash away my vomit._

_Clearing my throat, I took a sip of tea and waited with baited breath to see if it would stay down. It did and I sighed thankfully. “Yes, we’re going over to the parsonage at six for dinner. Mother says to tell you thank you for the raspberry leaf tea. It’s helping her nausea immensely.”_

_My handsome lover emerged from the bedroom and chuckled. “That’s an ancient remedy for pregnant ladies, Ezra. I’m glad it’s helping.”_

_I smiled at him and silently wondered if it might help my nausea. It couldn’t hurt and once Nathan left, I’d try some. We discussed our plans for the day and he kissed me tenderly before heading down to open the clinic. I hastily made a pot of raspberry tea and drank it down with an air of expectation. It worked and I sighed in relief. With some toast, I was ready to face the day._

_Teaching in our new school was a dream come true for me. I loved helping young minds to grow. They were so curious about the world around us that it was a joy to teach them. I gathered my books and headed for the one room schoolhouse where several of the townspeople took turns teaching the fourteen students. Nathan was teaching science and the odd greenish gray stone, that Mr. Black had found in his pasture right after that light display that turned everybody horny, was studied closely by all the students. I taught history both ancient and recent while Josiah taught philosophy and even Vin made himself available to teach tracking to the youngsters._

_The morning passed quickly and I managed to eat an entire apple without throwing up. Vin was complaining that he was off his feed and I mentioned the raspberry tea. I shared the pot that I’d just made and he grimaced at the taste but nodded when it settled his stomach. When it was safe, I’d have to mention to Nathan that it worked for men too._

_I got home in time to run a bath for us and when my Nathan came home, we’d share one. Undressing, I noted that even though I wasn’t eating much my stomach was bulging out a little. I poked it and frowned. I thought I was getting enough exercise but I’d have to get more if I didn’t want to get fat._

_But Nathan came in just then and I didn’t think anymore about it._

_*****_

_It was getting ridiculous. Every married lady in town was pregnant and my poor Nathan was run off his feet. I’d stopped throwing up after four months but my stomach just kept growing. I couldn’t hide it from Nathan any longer and he was digging through all the medical books to try and find an answer. The problem was that it wasn’t just me. Vin and Chris had both just finished bouts of nausea and they were getting fat, too. Buck had just started throwing up and JD was beyond worried._

_He thought it might have something to do with the meteorite. I was afraid that it was a tumor that was steadily eating away at me but I kept that fear to myself, until Nathan finally broke down and admitted that he was afraid of the same thing. We cried together while he held me tenderly. But after we’d admitted our fears, we decided to take each day as it came and just love each other._

_*****_

_A month later, everything changed._

_I was cradled in Nathan’s arms while he read Shakespeare to me. I loved the Bard’s sonnets and my lover has a voice that speaks as beautifully as he sings. My belly mounded above me and I’d turned a little so the heavy weight wasn’t sitting directly on my bladder. I had to go to the bathroom every ten minutes lately, I sighed to myself. Those weren’t the kind of things I wanted to burden Nathan with._

_And that’s when it happened._

_My tumor kicked me._

_I gasped out loud._

_“What’s wrong, Ezra? Does it hurt?” Nathan laid the book aside and brought his hand over mine where I was rubbing the spot that had felt like a kick._

_“It felt like . . .” it happened again but this time Nathan felt it as well. I looked up to see the most astonished look I’ve ever seen on his face. “What is it? You know what it is, don’t you?”_

_He opened and closed his mouth, all the blood draining from his face and leaving him ashen. “Ezra. I . . . I think I do know.”_

_My eyes filled with tears. It was so bad he couldn’t even say it out loud. I was probably dying and I hadn’t yet had a year to love him. “I love you, Nathan. How much time do I have left?”_

_He had a glazed look on his face and he rubbed the spot very, very gently as if it were a fragile piece of glass. “About three to four months . . . probably. Maybe. Good God.”_

_I was crying in earnest now and the little thumping came again. He rocked me close and kissed my face all over. The blood was coming back and he no longer looked so shocked. “Sweetheart, it’s not a bad thing. If what I suspect is true, it’s a good thing. A very good thing for both of us.”_

_Sniffing, I looked at him but he was looking at my stomach. “A good thing?”_

_“Ezra, I think . . . I think, you’re pregnant.”_

_“What?” I looked down at the mound hidden by my shirt and as if he knew that he was being talked about, he kicked me again. “A baby?”_

_His hand was shaking but he soothed the linen over my skin. “Remember that night with the lights in the sky? I think something happened that . . . that changed your body so it could carry a child. Sweet Jesus, Ezra, I think we made a baby that night.”_

_“A baby.” I could feel relief crash through me. “I’m not going to die. I’m having our baby.”_

_“Our baby.” He kissed me tenderly and I relaxed for the first time in months, allowing myself to enjoy the beloved touch. “I need to check a few things, Ezra. Let’s go to bed so I can make sure that it’s true.”_

_I nodded and let him help me up. Now that I’d thought the unthinkable, I could feel the way my weight shifted. How my lower back ached just like my mother had complained about to me; the frequent urge to go to the bathroom; the nausea that responded to raspberry tea; so many things that now made sense._

_A baby. Our baby, a child that would look like both Nathan and me. He’d probably have Nathan’s beautiful skin color but maybe he would have my eyes. Nathan undressed me and laid me down gently on the bed. Raising the lamp wick on high, he had me hold my legs up so he could check my lower regions._

_“Sweet Jesus.” He exclaimed and stroked the skin behind my balls. “Ezra, I think your body has changed enough to grow a vagina. That makes sense I guess. If you could grow a womb, why not a path to ease the baby out?”_

_I could feel his fingers enter me but not where I usually felt them. The baby kicked me again as if in protest. “Hush now, sweet baby, your papa is just making sure that you’re all right.”_

_“Papa.” Nathan’s gaze met mine and there were tears in both our eyes. “I’m going to be a father and you’re going to be a . . . father, too.”_

_My smile was a little watery but it felt so good to have something to smile about. “If I’m going to bear this baby and suffer through labor, I am definitely going to be a mama.”_

_He set the lamp aside and gathered me into his arms. “I love you, Ezra P. Standish. Our child is going to be so very special. I hope he has your eyes.”_

_“And I hope he has your beautiful golden skin.” I kissed his chin. “Make love to me, Nathan, instead of death, let’s celebrate life.”_

_“I could hurt you or the baby.” He tensed a little._

_“We made love two days ago and it didn’t hurt him . . . or her. What if it’s a little girl?” I thought of a daughter with pigtails and smiled broadly. “She’d be beautiful with your smile but I hope she isn’t as tall or she’ll tower over all the boys.”_

_He chuckled and kissed me gently. “What ever sex the baby is, we’ll love him or her with all our hearts. Did you ever want to have a child with me?”_

_I nodded shyly and started unbuttoning his shirt. “Yes, I always wanted your children but I thought we’d have to adopt an orphan or two. This baby will be a nice start for the family that I want to make with you.”_

_“Oh, Ezra, you are such a gift to me.” He finally began to help me strip him. “We’ll make love but we’ll go very slowly. I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”_

_“Or the baby,” I reminded him. Looking down at the mound that had turned from frightening to beautiful, I realized that my breasts were more full that ever before. “Nathan, do you think I’ll be able to nurse the baby?”_

_He slid up beside me and very gently stroked my nipple to a hard peak. “I think you might, Ezra. With all the changes your body is undergoing, that seems like something that would happen as a matter of course. Roll to your side, sweet cheeks while I see if I’ll be able to come inside of you.”_

_His fingers stroked liniment into me and I wiggled all over while our child kicked me lustily. “I think it’s a boy and he’s in a hurry to be born. Come inside of me and let’s see what he does then.”_

_Nathan chuckled and eased between my cheeks through the small hole that had been my only entrance. Very slowly and tenderly he made love to me while the baby seemed to rest enough to let me enjoy my climax. Nathan flooded me with his heat and I spurted all over his warm hand._

_“A baby.” He murmured and held me close._

_“Our baby.” I pulled his arms tight around me. “Good heavens, do you think that is what’s happening to Vin, Chris and Buck?”_

_He went still and then began to chuckle. “I’ll have them all in tomorrow and we’ll see. Not one male pregnant but four? This will be a medical first all around. Sleep now, sweet cheeks. You’re going to need your rest._

_*****_

_The next three months passed slowly. The other three of the seven were indeed pregnant and all of us were adjusting to the reality that seemed so improbable. Nathan sent a letter to the doctor who’d given him his first training and Dr. Jeffrey Lee arrived almost immediately. Every week, he checked all of us carefully and made notes as our pregnancies advanced. We had feared that the other townspeople would consider us freaks but after the first stunned silence, they rallied around us._

_I still worked in the clinic but as my time grew near, it got harder and harder to do even the most simple of tasks. The day that Mother gave birth to my little brother, I sat with her and held her hand while Josiah used his body as a backrest for her. The labor was mercifully short, only six hours and soon Nathan was holding up the tiny boy and laying him on Mother’s stomach. Covered in blood, he was still the most beautiful sight I’d ever seen._

_I rubbed my heavy belly and watched Josiah cry over his son while Mother rested with an exhausted smile. Later that day, I lay in my lover’s arms and wondered what it would feel like to go through what Mother had. “Nathan, I hope that I can be as brave as she was. So much pain but he is so beautiful.”_

_“Your little brother is the most beautiful baby I’ve ever delivered, Ezra.” He kissed my temple and held me closer. “Jeffrey thinks that your labor will be like what your mother went through. All the tests he’s performed shows the baby developing just like normal. I’ll be right there with you, Ezra, every step of the way.”_

_“Good. I can hardly wait to have this baby out of my body and into my arms. We haven’t talked about names. If it’s a girl could we name her Amanda?”_

_“That’s a good name, Ezra. Why Amanda?” He shifted me and began to rub the sore spot on my lower back._

_“It’s Mother’s middle name and I looked it up once. It means ‘beloved’.” I leaned into the warm hand that gave me such ease._

_“Beautiful Ezra, I think that’s very appropriate. If it’s a boy, I’d like to name him William after my father. Would that be all right?” Nathan’s eyes were moist and I patted away a lone tear._

_“Perfect, Nathan. William Nathan Jackson.” I sighed in satisfaction._

_“Why not William Ezra Standish?” He asked me with a little frown._

_I thought about that. We couldn’t marry because we were both men and in normal times, we wouldn’t be having babies either. “How about William Nathan Standish-Jackson?”_

_“Hm-m, I like it. Then our daughter will be Amanda Petra Standish-Jackson.” He said in satisfaction._

_My middle name is Peter and I like the idea of our daughter bearing part of my name. “That sounds just right, Nathan. Now, you’d better let me up so I can use the chamber pot. Our child is determined to make me pee.”_

_He chuckled and helped me use the chamber pot since I could no longer see my own penis. I was just glad that whatever had changed my body hadn’t decided to remove my cock at the same time. Nathan had pleasured me with his mouth when I could no longer make love any other way. Slow, lazy lovemaking with hands and mouths were all that remained to us. But that was enough for us._

_*****_

_It had been three hours since my water broke and the first contractions had hit. I was slowly walking around the small clinic holding onto Josiah’s arm while Mother watched anxiously cradling my little brother in her arms. Nathan was helping Dr. Lee deliver Vin’s baby when Chris went into labor. Buck and JD were helping them out and sent word that Nathan would be coming shortly._

_Mother was coaching me in how to pant during each contraction and I felt as if I was going to hyperventilate with the need to get air into my lungs. All my attention was focused on the waves of pain that flooded my body. It felt like my baby was fighting hard to come out and little feet kept kicking me high up. I was trying to be magnanimous but I was fast coming not to care about anyone else._

_I wanted Nathan and I wanted him now._

_Before I could begin to panic when the contractions speeded up, my lover appeared like a beautiful knight of old. Sweeping me up into his arms, he headed back to one of the examination rooms with Josiah and Mother right behind him. “It’s going to be all right, Ezra. Vin just delivered a beautiful daughter and Chris had a feisty son. They’re fine and you’re going to be just fine, too. Let’s see how far you’re along.”_

_Josiah propped me up while Mother held my hand through another wave of pain._

_“Okay love, you’re dilated almost far enough to start pushing. I’m going in to make sure that the baby is turned the right way. It may be uncomfortable.” Nathan warned me and I had to laugh._

_“Uncomfortable? That would be a relief, Nathan.” I gritted my teeth against the pain racking my body. Panting, I felt it subside only to start anew a moment later. “Nathan?”_

_“It’s time, Ezra. I want you to push for me. Bear down when the next contraction starts.”_

_I pushed. Nothing. Panting hard before pushing again. I felt my body separate into two distinct people, one was pushing and the other was breathing. That was all I could do. Push and breathe. Push and breathe. Push and fight back tears of pain. Push and feel the terrified battling of my child to not be pushed down that narrow channel._

_“That’s it, Ezra, rest for a moment. Okay, now push once more, love. I can see a head. Wow, is there a lot of hair on that little head.” Nathan encouraged me._

_Hair, the baby has hair. For some reason that struck me as too funny for words and I started to laugh at the same moment my baby finally slid in a slither of blood and fluid into Nathan’s hands._

_“We have a son, Ezra. A beautiful little boy.” Nathan’s voice was choked with tears._

_A son. We had a son._

_Then the little lungs filled with air for the first time and William Nathan Standish-Jackson wailed his displeasure at the indignities he’d just suffered. My lover cleaned him gently and cut the umbilical cord before placing our son in my arms. I held the new life that we’d created with joy. I was crying I think but laughing too._

_Mother was cooing at her new grandson while Josiah brushed a reverent finger over a downy cheek. William was beautiful there was no word other for him. Golden brown skin gleamed in the lamplight and I marveled at the ten perfect little fingers that waved in the air. His rosebud lips moved in and out in a sucking motion and I looked at Nathan who was cleaning me up._

_“Nathan, can he nurse yet?”_

_“I don’t know if you’re producing any milk yet, sweetheart but go ahead and try.” He smiled at me and watched while I guided the little mouth to my swollen breast._

_The tugging at my nipple was familiar but different. This small mouth belonged to my son, the miracle I’d never thought to have. And like his miraculous conception, my milk began to flow with each tiny suck. Josiah and Nathan spoke quietly while Mother gave me pointers on how to hold him and what to expect when he needed to switch to the other breast._

_Then Nathan was wrapping us up in blankets while Josiah held the door. Nathan picked us up and carried us upstairs to the safe place that we’d created for our love. He settled me into our bed and said goodbye to my parents. Then he returned and crawled into bed beside me. He cuddled me close and stroked William’s cheek._

_“He’s beautiful, Ezra, just like you.”_

_I chuckled and the unfamiliar vibration caused the baby’s eyes to finally open. Soft green eyes so like my own peered up at us and one tiny hand patted my breast as if to say ‘hello, mama and papa’. “He has your beautiful skin.”_

_“But he has your emerald eyes, sweet heart. Is your milk really flowing?” His lips gently touched the top of the baby’s head where the black silky hair flowed._

_“Yes, it’s so odd to feel it move through my nipple. Oh look, he’s falling asleep. Sweet William, how very nice it is to finally see you.” I told him softly and those small lips curved up in a slight smile as my nipple fell from his lips and his eyes closed._

_“He’s a blessing, Ezra, our very own blessing.” Nathan’s eyes were still tear bright. “Thank you for bearing him for us.”_

_“I love you, Nathan. There is no pain so great that could make me stop loving you and wanting our child.” I leaned over and kissed those soft lips that gave me so much comfort. “I’m so lucky that you love me.”_

_“We’re so lucky that our love produced this perfect little boy for us to love.” He held me close and sighed happily. “I wonder if all the changes in your body will remain or if you’ll go back to being male only.”_

_I chuckled quietly. “If that’s a hint that next time you want a daughter, I’d like a little rest first, sweet Nathan. Then we will see what happens. Tell me about Vin and Chris’ babies.”_

_In between kisses, he passed on all the news of our compatriots while I settled my aching body into the comfortable circle of his arms. We were warm, we were safe and our son was sleeping quietly in my arms. I was the luckiest man in the entire world._

***** 

I felt Nathan slide in beside me under the covers and I rolled towards him with a sleepy murmur. But something didn’t feel right and I opened my eyes to see his tired face. My body didn’t feel the way it should until I realized what was wrong. A dream, it had all been a dream and my arms were empty of our child. I began to cry and Nathan caught me close.

“What’s wrong, Ezra? Are you all right?” He asked me frantically.

And it all poured out, the vivid images of the dream and all the emotions that accompanied the birth of our son. I must have sounded insane to him but he just rocked me and kissed away each new set of tears. I finally subsided in his arms except for a slight hiccup in my breathing.

His strong hands stroked me slowly while he cradled me on top of him. “Sweet Ezra, I love you more each day and if you want a child then that’s what we’ll do. He or she may not be born of our seed but they will be children of our hearts no matter how they come to us.”

I sniffed and rubbed my nose. “Really? You don’t think I’m silly?”

“Never silly, sweetheart. Your dream humbles me. That you could love me so much that you would carry our child through the pain of delivery makes feel like the luckiest man in the world. I love you so much.” He kissed me sweetly until we both caught fire with the passion that always lay between us.

We might not be able to make a child between us but the love we made was just as much a blessing. Nathan was wrong, I thought while slick fingers made me ready for him, I was the humble one. Sitting up, I slowly took him into my body, filling the emptiness left from my dream and taking him deep inside of me. 

“Make love to me, Nathan. Fill me with your seed and remind me of how much you love me.” I clenched around his thick cock and slid my fingers over his nipples. “Then suckle at my breast and take away this empty place inside.”

Rolling us over so he could hook my legs over his arms and thrust more deeply, Nathan’s eyes glowed in the semi-darkness. “You will never be empty, Ezra. I will fill you night and day, over and over until all you can feel is my love filling you to overflowing.” He planted his knees and began the strong deep thrusts that impaled me on his love. “And I will nurse from your beautiful nipples until they are sore and aching if that’s what you want. Then, I need you to return the favor.”

I fisted my cock between us while absorbing each thrust with ecstasy. It would be fast this time but that was all right. Slow could come later when we’d recovered and the memory of the dream had begun to fade. I was burning inside and out while his little grunts and the slapping of his balls against my ass filled the silence of our bed. Need was rising up inside of us both and when he froze deep inside of me, flooding me with his heat, I climaxed as well.

The tremors seemed to go on forever while he jerked inside of me and I spurted over us both. Then he slowly let my legs slip lower to around his waist and he leaned in to kiss me. It was a deep kiss, a powerful kiss, one that told me how much he loved me. I was the most blessed man in the world that this greathearted man loved me.

“Nathan, never leave me. I wouldn’t survive without you.” I hugged him close and felt his kisses move down my throat and across my chest to the nipple over my heart. The gentle tug reminded me of the sweet tug of our dream-son’s lips and I started to weep again. 

That vivid memory had only been a dream but I made a silent vow that someday I would hold our son or daughter in my arms. Someday Nathan and I would enlarge our family with the children of our hearts. And on that day, we would be truly blessed with the fruit of our love.

********************


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their trip to Sarney to pick up supplies doesn't go as planned.

Nathan  
***************** 

I watched Ezra out of the corner of my eye. He was pensive with a faint air of . . . melancholy that hadn’t quite gone away since I’d come home the night of his dream a month ago. It still had the power to amaze me, that he would want our child so much. William, he’d named him William after my father. After the strange upbringing that Maude had put him through, he could still yearn for a child.

My child. Our child.

He said that I’d given him so much love that he was overflowing. After so many years of drought, he finally had an ocean of feeling to float in. He held me close and cried into my shoulder while I wet the top of his head with my own tears. I loved him so much and I could feel the love that he gave me fill up my soul. I vowed then to seek out those orphans that were created every day in the dangerous world of the West and find one for us. My Ezra deserved to have everything he wanted.

“I’m fine, Nathan.” His voice chuckled. “I truly am.”

Caught. I kept the horses on the road to Sarney. “I know you are, Ezra, but I also know that you’re still feeling a little out of sorts.”

He slid a little closer to me on the wagon seat and I felt the warmth of his hand on my leg even through his gloves and my jeans. “Maybe a little. I never realized that a man could feel such an aching need for a child before. I guess that I thought only a woman experienced that . . . that yearning for a baby. And heaven knows that I’d be a terrible mother . . .”

“Whoa.” I stopped the horses and slid an arm around him. “You would not be a terrible mother, Ezra P. Standish. Do you remember what you told me after Mr. Gray died? I’m warm, caring and compassionate, you said. Well, so are you. You’re also patient and tender with all the children of Four Corners. I told you once before that you’d be a good father and I haven’t changed my mind.”

His eyes glittered with unshed tears but he kissed me softly before moving a few inches away. We tried not to do anything in public that would raise eyebrows and so far we’d succeeded in living together without any gossip. I clucked to the horses and we started off again. Once a week, one of the seven took the wagon to the railroad spur in Sarney to pick up supplies and mail for the town. 

I had a shipment of medicine and herbs coming from San Francisco that I really hoped was on the Friday train. I was low on almost everything and winter was definitely coming. Ezra didn’t complain of the cold but his jacket wasn’t heavy enough and I was hoping that we could find something to fit him in the railroad town. Sarney was twice the size of Four Corners and they had a haberdashery that he had mentioned once.

The rest of the trip went smoothly while we spoke of little things that we needed to do and errands for some of the townspeople to run. Gloria Potter had come with us the last time we went to Sarney but this time she’d just sent a list. Ezra was already planning the best division of our time so we could head back after lunch. There was only one restaurant in town where he and I could sit down at the same table for a meal. 

I was resigned to the segregation that had traveled west from the South but it made him angry and sad at the same time. The little café near the railway station run by a soldier from Massachusetts welcomed everyone, regardless of race or creed. And his food was good, too. He and Ezra had swapped recipes the first time we ate there and ever since, we’d made it a point to take our meal at Benjamin’s. The others of the seven did, too.

It was a small thing but made us feel like we were helping to spread a little tolerance in a world that could be pretty cold and unfeeling. I pulled up to the shed that served as a warehouse for shipments. Mr. Weston, the stationmaster, came out with a smile and the news that he had two crates waiting for us. We loaded them into the wagon and threw blankets over the horses while we ran our errands.

They were the shipments that I was waiting for and I sighed with relief. The cough syrups and medicines would go a long way to keeping the citizens of Four Corners well when winter finally arrived. Mr. Weston told us he’d watch over the supplies while we ran our errands. First stop was the store where Ezra could get a heavier coat. The tailor’s shop was small but shelves climbed the walls all the way to the ceiling and held ready-made shirts and pants.

A sheepskin coat with a high collar fit him like a glove, falling just past the curve of his ass. The soft tan color made his eyes seem even greener and I had to fight the urge to pull him close and kiss some color into his lips. When he looked up from paying for the coat, he caught my look and blushed. He can always tell when I’m thinking lusty thoughts.

The tailor boxed up his old jacket for him and I saw a shirt being packed away as well. When I looked a question at Ezra, he shook his head and that little smile flitted across his lips. “You need to replace the shirt that got ruined during the influenza epidemic, Mr. Jackson. Mrs. Potter told me in no uncertain terms what to buy for you.”

I had to shake my head at his explanation. I was dearly loved by this wonderful man and it was so like him to use another for an excuse to pamper me. But I did notice the tailor relax a bit when he heard the words, only then noticing that he was uncomfortable with me in his shop. Prejudice came in many forms - at least this one was familiar.

I took the box from him, while Ezra nodded to him and shooed me ahead of him out the door. We split up then to run our errands and an hour and a half later, we met at Benjamin’s for lunch. I unloaded my bundles at the wagon then headed for the restaurant. I got there first and the old soldier seated me near the potbelly stove. The heat felt good and I gave him our order while I waited for Ezra.

He came through the door a moment later, also free of burdens and he spotted me at once. Threading through the tables, he sat down across from me. “I got everything on my list. Vin should be pleased with the peppermint balls that I found. And there were three new books at the paper shop.”

“I got everything on my list as well. Buck’s knife was ready at the ironmonger’s. And they had a new shipment of fishhooks so Chris should be happy. I already ordered for us.” I pressed my knee against his, which was the closest that I could come to touching him. He pressed back with a beautiful smile and removed his coat. 

“It’s getting colder, Nathan. I’m glad that the tailor had something in my size.” He looked up when Benjamin set our food on the table. They spoke for a few minutes, exchanging cooking news while I tucked into my roast beef and mashed potatoes. The gravy was just the way I like it, slightly salty and rich with flavor.

Benjamin left to check on his other diners while we ate our lunch. Occasionally Ezra would press his knee against mine or I’d catch a smile meant just for me. The only thing better would be if he were sitting in my lap while we fed each other. Maybe naked, too. I grinned at him and watched that eyebrow of his quirk upwards. I’d have to tell him about that little fantasy later when we could do something about it.

We finished off our apple pie with relish and Ezra promised me that he’d be baking over the weekend. For all that he’d had such a terrible six months at the bordello, he’d taken away an interest in cooking that persisted to this day. I was willing to bet that one of the new books he’d bought would be a cookbook. I dearly loved him and his wonderful cooking.

I heard the train whistle from far away and we gulped the last of our coffee so the waitress could clear our table for the hungry people on the train. I paid Benjamin for the meal and ushered Ezra out ahead of me, my hand on the small of his back. I hated going this long without touching him. We walked up to Mr. Weston and he looked a little worried.

“She’s never been this late before,” he said looking at his pocket watch. “I hope there’s not been trouble down the line.”

We nodded and strained our eyes for the first glimpse of the black steam engine. The billows of dark smoke finally appeared and soon after the train limped into view. And limped was the right word. One car looked burned out, the windows broken and a horrible whining screech came from the wheels. The odd sound brought more spectators and the sheriff of Sarney appeared at Mr. Weston’s other side.

The train conductor swung off almost before the train stopped. “We need a doctor two cars back.”

I stepped up and took his arm while the sheriff sent off a boy to find their doctor. “I was a medic in the war, what kind of injuries are we talking about?”

He led us back to the car that showed the least amount of damage. But the people that lay and sat on the floor and seats were badly injured. He explained that one of the stoves had exploded, burning the car and the travelers. The next hour passed in a blur of activity. Some of the burns were minor and I got them out of the way first, sending them into the makeshift clinic where some of the women of Sarney were cleaning people up.

But five of the victims were in serious condition. In fact, one of the men who’d been closest to the stove died while we were trying to move him to the clinic in town. Sarney’s doctor arrived a few moments after he breathed his last. Dr. Kell was a good man who tolerated my skin color and accepted what little skill I had. He took over evaluating the last four but his exclamation brought me over to his side at once.

“Oh dear.” He knelt by the side of a small figure curled in on herself who was whimpering. “Nathan, help me get her onto the stretcher. Leave her in that position for now. Oh my God, she’s holding a baby.”

I hesitated for a moment then gently unhooked the frozen fingers from around the tiny form clutched in her arms. The whimpers were coming from the infant and not its mother. Ezra was right behind me and he caught his breath before taking the little blanket wrapped bundle.

“Was she traveling alone?” Dr. Kell asked the conductor who had manfully stayed to help the horribly burned victims.

“Yes, she got on in Albuquerque with the child. Being colored and all, she was at the back of the carriage but only two seats away from the stove when it exploded. She was burning alive but she wouldn’t let go of the baby.” He swallowed hard. “We couldn’t pry her arms from it so we left her alone. Is she still alive?”

Dr. Kell sighed and raised the blanket to cover her face. “No. She hung on long enough to save the baby. What a tragic waste.”

The whimpers were louder now and I stood to see what was wrong. Ezra had uncovered the small body and all I could see was black curls wreathing a small brown face. He looked up at me with tears in his eyes. “She’s a girl.”

“Why don’t you take her over to Benjamin’s and see if he has some milk he could warm up for her?” I wanted him out of this chamber of horrors. “She has to be our first priority right now.”

He nodded and refolded the blanket loosely over her face. Carefully he walked down the stairs to the ground and I watched him out of sight with a frown. This had to be hurting him with what we couldn’t have. But Dr. Kell needed assistance with the next victim and I pitched in to help. Two hours later, all the victims had been treated to the best of our ability. Two more had died, one from inhaling the smoke and the other of burns that covered 90% of his body. I wanted to find Ezra in the worst way but I had something to do first. Tracking down the conductor, I asked about luggage that the woman might have had. He took me out to the car and we searched but the only things left were charred lumps of what might have been a carpetbag under what had been her seat.

Steeling my courage, I next went to the morgue, where the town undertaker was attending to the bodies. He hadn’t gotten to her yet. Being colored, she’d been left to last. I had no energy left to be angry about that slight and I gingerly checked to see if she’d been wearing a money belt with papers that might identify her. In a small pouch tucked into the top of her stocking, were twenty dollars and a locket with a coil of black hair entwined with blond. 

That kind of took me aback but I put it aside for now. The urge to find Ezra was growing stronger. The undertaker readily agreed to allow me to take her body with us. I gave him two dollars to pay for a casket. I didn’t want her to lie amongst strangers. In Four Corners, she’d be close enough for us to put flowers on her grave. I checked with the sheriff and Dr. Kell, asking them if there was a couple in Sarney that wanted to adopt a colored child. There wasn’t so I told them that a family in Four Corners would take her. They agreed. It looked like Ezra and I were about to start that family we’d been speaking about.

I found him at the rear of the restaurant, patting the baby against his shoulder and humming to her. A partially filled bottle of milk with an artificial teat sat beside him on the table and he looked so happy, smiling down at her. Then those beautiful green eyes met mine and he shared the smile with me.

“Is everyone else all right?” He asked when I sat down heavily beside him.

“Two more died. One other may die before morning. How is she doing?” I peeked around his shoulder and met curious brown eyes looking back at me.

“She fussed a little when I first gave her the milk. It obviously didn’t taste like her mother’s. But she finally licked some from her lips and decided that it wasn’t too terribly bad. I already asked if there was anyone who would take her and they all said no.” He looked beseechingly at me.

“Well then, I guess that Amanda Petra Standish-Jackson will be going home with us.” I stroked her cheek softly and she smiled at me.

Ezra beamed, two tears of joy seeping from his sparkling green eyes. “How . . . how old do you think she is?”

“I’d say about two months. We’ll need something warm to carry her in on the trip home. I made arrangements for us to take her mother’s body back with us. That way she’ll be there to help watch over her little girl. And Amanda will always know that her mother loved her so much that she died to keep her safe.” I sighed and stroked the soft cheek again. 

She smiled and blew a bubble at me while Ezra kept patting her back. The belch sounded much too large for her small body but it brought another smile to his face. “There we go, sweetheart, that feels better, doesn’t it?” 

I chuckled and dropped my hand to his arm, needing to touch him. “I’ll go see if I can find something for her to travel in. I just want to go home.”

“Yes, let’s go home, Nathan.” Ezra patted my hand and settled her in the crook of his arm to see if she wanted more milk. 

I took that sight with me while I attended to the business that would see us on our way. The doctor’s wife had a baby quilt that she gave me along with some diapers to keep her dry. Benjamin loaned me a leather carryall that would serve as a baby bed until we could get home. Back at the station, the stationmaster loaded the mail onto the wagon for us and told us that he’d telegraph if anyone asked about her. The undertaker’s men brought the mother in a plain pine box and slid it in beside the medicines.

Life and death sat side-by-side in our wagon. But the very best part of life was coming towards me and I thanked God for him. Amanda was cocooned in the carryall with Ezra’s old jacket to cushion her and the baby quilt to keep the cool air from her. We sat her between us on the wagon seat and waved goodbye to Mr. Weston before starting out.

Once out of sight of town, Ezra’s hand clasped mine over the partially open bag opening. “We’re a family, Nathan. She’s beautiful but so tiny. What if we can’t get milk for her?”

“That won’t be a problem, Ezra. Remember the goats that Mr. Brewster keeps behind the stables? Best kind of milk available for a growing baby. We’re going to be just fine, sweet cheeks. We probably know more about keeping her healthy than most new parents do.” I grinned at him and squeezed his hand. “What do you think the others are going to say when we come home with this strange assortment of items?”

He chuckled. “It should be real interesting to see who asks which question.”

I laughed out loud and heard Amanda chortle from her travel bed. Ezra’s eyes sparkled at me and he raised my hand to his lips. I was tired to the bone and the stink of burning seemed to fill my nostrils. But that didn’t matter, not up against the joy of saving a life that would become a part of Ezra and me. There were interesting times to come and it wouldn’t be easy for two men to raise a girl child.

But she looked like a feisty little thing and I expected her to hold her own. The other five of our team were going to be putty in her little hands. But what about the ladies of the town? “Ezra, do you think that the rest of the town will feel that we’re not fit to parent a baby girl?”

“We’ll take each person one at a time. Gloria Potter will back us and perhaps Mary Travis as well.” He smiled determinedly. “There are no colored families in Four Corners or within a hundred mile radius so it’s only natural that you’d want to save her from being farmed out to just anybody. But what if someone asks for her or her father comes looking for her?”

I couldn’t bear to see him worry so I told him about the locket with the blond and black hair woven together. It was in my pocket and I fished it out to give to him. The daylight was waning rapidly and all I really wanted to do was go home and cuddle my lover and our new daughter. But there were so many things to do that my head spun with all the details.

“LR must be her initials.” His elegant fingers traced what, I had thought was only a pretty design etched in the gold. “Or maybe his initials?

“Or a family name, maybe.” I pondered the mystery. “It’s a pretty nice piece of jewelry for a colored girl. We’ll have to keep it safe for Amanda when she grows up. And don’t borrow trouble, sweet cheeks. She’s ours right now and I have a feeling that she’s going to be ours forever.”

He smiled at me and nodded. “Forever, Nathan, just like we’re forever.”

“I love you, Ezra.” I raised his hand to my lips and kissed his long elegant fingers. “Put your gloves back on or you’ll catch a chill.”

“Yes, dear.” He said meekly, putting the locket in his coat pocket and tugging his gloves back on. “Do you think she’s warm enough?”

“She’ll be fine, Ezra. She’s well insulated from the cold air.” I grinned at him. “She’s the best kind of Christmas present for this happy year.”

He smiled and patted the quilt. “My two best presents are right here, her and you, my wonderful, generous lover.”

It was my turn to blush. “We’re the luckiest men in the world to have found each other, Ezra. And now we’re starting a family. I can hardly wait to see how everyone else reacts when they see what we brought back with us.”

We both chuckled at that and half an hour later, we pulled up in front of Josiah’s church. He came out when he heard us so he was the first to learn about our trip. He and I carried the white pine casket to the shed near the church where there wasn’t any heat. Ezra brought Amanda in and hurried to the back room where Josiah slept. I deliberately didn’t tell him what was in the bag so he was completely surprised when he walked back with me.

“Merciful heavens, Ezra.” He exclaimed when he saw Ezra in the old rocking chair, cradling a sleepy Amanda. Going down on one knee, he stroked her cheek while I told him what had happened in Sarney. By the end of the story, he was shaking his head in amazement. “You two are amazing. May I be one of her godparents?”

Ezra dimpled at him. “Of course you may, Josiah, but first we need to bury her mother.”

He nodded solemnly and we made a list of things that needed doing. But Amanda was fussing and we packed her back up to drive to Mrs. Potter’s with the mail and deliveries. Chris was there and he helped us unload everything while Ezra took the baby home. Vin appeared and was dispatched to take the wagon and horses to the livery and bring some milk back to our place. JD was right behind him and he listened with wide eyes while I asked him to bring dinner from Inez’ for all of us. He left quickly and promised to tell Buck our news.

I was antsy as all get out, needing to get home and hold Ezra close. Chris sent me on my way and I hurried up the stairs, the lamplight spilling out of the window to show me the way home. I opened the door and quickly closed it behind me. Ezra was humming in the bedroom and I flung my jacket next to his on the hooks by the door. I took off my boots as well and then tiptoed across the room so I didn’t wake Amanda up if she had fallen asleep.

Ezra knelt by the side of the bed, changing her diaper while she waved her little arms at him. He looked up at me with a smile. “Welcome home, Nathan. See Amanda, here’s your other father.”

She cooed and smiled at me with the same dimple that I saw on Ezra’s face so often. “Sweetheart, we’re glad you’re here. And Godfather Vin is bringing you some fresh milk so you can have some dinner while Godfather JD is bringing your daddies dinner over. You’ve got your Papa Ezra’s smile, Amanda.”

“And you’ve got your Papa Nathan’s beautiful golden skin.” Ezra kissed my cheek and I tilted my head to reach his tasty lips. We kissed for a long moment while Amanda chortled happily.

A knock on the door broke us apart with a laugh. I got up to answer it while he finished pinning her diaper shut and wrapping her in the baby quilt that the doctor’s wife had given us. I made a mental note to ask Gloria if she stocked any baby clothes. All five of the others were there loaded down with bundles. Even though Christmas was still a month away, it felt like the festivities had arrived early.

We gathered around the table, setting it with our mismatched dishes and opening the food while it was still hot. Ezra brought Amanda out and I have to say that one smile from her sweet lips reduced them to abject slaves to her slightest whim. My eyes met Ezra’s and his slow sweet smile told me that this christening ceremony was going to be a big one. She had just gotten seven defenders for life.

Life – what a beautiful word that was. But more importantly, little Amanda would be loved and cared for to the very best of our ability. Love – that other word that meant so much to me. This wonderful man who held my heart loved me passionately and our love had reached out to draw this little orphan into our family.

I had the feeling that this Christmas would be a very special one. Everyone would have something to be thankful for and maybe our family would grow a little more. Josiah had told me that Maude was coming for another visit the week of December 20th. Both of us hoped that maybe this time she would give Ezra the unconditional love that he needed from her. I was willing to bet that Amanda would be helping out there as well.

Life had just taken a definite turn towards the interesting. Luckily, we faced the future with solid friendships and the love that kept growing between us. We were the two luckiest men in the whole world. As we sat down to eat, I bowed my head for Josiah’s blessing and thanked God for the men in this room. They had saved my life and Ezra had saved my soul.

Now it was our turn to save another life and I watched Ezra hold the bottle to those tiny lips while her arms waved approval of the warm milk. Our family was truly blessed with joy and I prayed fervently that it always would be. Winter was going to be a time of renewal for all of us. And Amanda, well, she was going to be the catalyst that brought even more love and peace to Four Corners.

I don’t know how I knew that, I just did.

*********************


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A stranger comes to town.

Claude DuBois  
****************** 

I got off the train in Sarney, a small town with no particular cachet. It was just another dusty little backwater except for one thing, the burned out passenger car that sat forlornly on a sidetrack. Even a month after the accident, there still seemed to be a smell of burned flesh and cloth arising from it. The stationmaster was more than willing to talk about the survivors, some of whom were still in the small clinic in town.

The one I was after, however, was only mentioned after almost twenty minutes of seemingly idle questions. The dead colored woman and her baby had gone to yet another dusty town called Four Corners. It had been a long trip and I checked into the hotel for a good dinner and a peaceful night’s sleep. But first I sent a telegram to my employer telling him that I’d arrived.

 _Arrived. Two stops. Business good.  
Claude DuBois_

Mr. Pinkerton would know what it meant. Our client was paying handsomely to track his former slave and her child. Why didn’t concern me although I did wonder when my boss told me that price was no object. This was the fourth lead I’d followed up and I really hoped that this was the right one. I was tired of the west and wanted to go home to New Orleans to celebrate Christmas.

But this was what I was paid for so I ate a light meal and turned in for an early night. Tomorrow, I’d rent a horse and travel to Four Corners. Idly, I wondered why someone would take the body to be buried in a tiny town when she could have been left in Sarney and only the baby taken on. Yawning, I pulled the blanket higher up and fell asleep in mid thought.

***** 

Four Corners was just as dusty and tired looking as I expected. A snowfall must have recently fallen because the streets looked almost pristine. I stabled the horse at the livery and engaged in some gossip with the farrier, Mr. Brewster. He mentioned the men who guarded the town and I asked the sheriff’s name so I could pay him a visit. It paid to keep the law on my side when I was asking questions.

He pointed the way and I carried my bags first to the hotel, reserving a room for the night. After a quick wash, I put my coat back on and headed for the saloon for a drink before visiting the sheriff, a Mr. JD Dunne. The pretty Mexican behind the counter flirted with me while pouring me a whiskey. Inez answered my questions about the town and its residents while keeping an eye on the door behind me. The outer door opened and her eyes lit up. “Pardon, Mr. DuBois. Buck, is it done?”

A tall man with an easy smile walked up, nodding to me genially. “Sure is, darlin’. I just varnished it and put it to dryin’. Should be ready for Christmas Eve.” He accepted a beer from her and turned those blue eyes to me. “Don’t think I’ve seen you before, Sir. Just passing through?”

“Yes and no, Sir. Passing through but with a purpose. My principal is looking for some land in this area so I’m taking a look around for him. I had hoped to be done by Christmas but he’s an impatient man and so far I have found nothing.” I smiled up at him with my own twinkle. “If I may be so bold, I am curious as to what surprise you are making for Christmas.”

He chuckled and drank down half his beer. “Ah, that hit’s the spot. I’m a bit of a wood carver in my spare time. For the last few weeks I’ve been making something a little bigger than normal. Two of my friends have a new baby and I made a cradle for her.”

“And I have made the bed clothes for it. She is to be christened on Christmas Eve.” Inez’ eyes flashed with good humor and they exchanged a look of complete joy.

It was rather refreshing to see such devotion between them for their friends. “A most joyous occasion and worthy of such fine gifts. A little girl?”

“A little girl just as pretty as she can be. Even Maude had to admit that when she arrived yesterday for a little visit.” He snorted a bit and finished his beer while Inez rolled her eyes and went to get him another. “Do you have a room yet, Mr. . . ?”

“Claude DuBois, Sir, at your service. And you, Sir?”

He held out a broad hand to shake mine. “Buck Wilmington, one of the peace keepers here in Four Corners.”

“Ah, I heard something of you in Sarney when I got off the train.” I decided to test the waters. “Terrible thing about the accident. The burned out railroad car is a very stark reminder of how quickly life can be extinguished.”

He shivered a little, his eyes focusing on his empty tankard. “And how something so terrible can turn out to be a blessing in disguise. The baby that I made the cradle for was left orphaned by that very accident. Our healer, Nathan Jackson adopted her and brought her mama here to be buried so Amanda will always know how much her mother loved her.”

“Indeed, what a touching story and what a lucky little girl. But what of the father?” My mind raced at the possibility that my search was at an end.

Buck frowned. “She wasn’t carrying any papers, just a locket and a little cash money that they put in the bank for the baby. We check each week in Sarney with the sheriff there in case somebody asks after her. I hope no one ever does ask, ‘cause it would just about kill them to have to give her up now.”

“Them?” I asked cautiously. The name Nathan Jackson I’d heard in Sarney although nothing had been said about a wife, but before he could answer, we were interrupted. Another man had entered and Buck turned to frown at him.

“Damn it, JD, I told you to wear your coat when you go outside. You want to get sick?” He scolded the younger man.

“It’s not even a block, you old worry-wart.” The youngster grinned at him, nodding to me.

He had to be the sheriff but I hadn’t expected such a young man. “Sheriff Dunne?”

His eyes sharpened, focusing on me with a sweeping glance. I added five years to his age. “Yes, I am. And you are?”

I introduced myself and spun my tale about land. He nodded and suggested that their banker would be a good person to talk to. The conversation became general until another man entered and made his way to the bar. Dressed all in black, his piercing gaze seemed to look right into my soul before turning away. The dynamics of this odd group of men fascinated me and I made sure that I bought a round of drinks so I could continue to study them. 

Little bits and pieces of town life came up in the conversation, and over and over, the names Nathan and Ezra. When a rather scruffy looking hunter appeared, they retired to a corner table that was obviously known as theirs. I made my way to the hotel with a lot to think about. There was something about this town that was different than I was expecting.

The four men were so obviously coupled that it leapt to the eye and yet the other townspeople accepted them matter-of-factly. Buck and the sheriff were so much in love that it shone from them. The hunter, Vin Tanner, was enigmatic to the extreme but Chris Larabee softened ever so slightly when he was there at his side. I chuckled to myself. I hadn’t expected to find others of my kind here in this little backwater town.

Cleaning up, I went down to the dining room for an early dinner and right into a meeting with the missing members of the seven. I was seated at a corner table with my back to the wall so I could watch the other diners. I had a book with me for a cover should I need one. There were only a few diners this early but a little flurry brought my eyes to the door and the arrival of a tall black man with a shorter white man at his side.

The smaller man was a beauty of the finest water with sparkling green eyes and the prettiest chestnut hair I’d ever seen. He was cradling a small bundle in his arms and the waitress seated them with a smile and a soft coo when the blanket was pulled back from the baby. I cast quick looks at them and strained my ears to hear their words when she left to get their menus.

“She’s fine, Ezra.” The colored man smiled at them both while he folded the quilt. “She just wants to see all the pretty lights. Amanda hates to be kept in the dark.”

“I know, Nathan, but I worry that we should have had Mother to home instead of bringing the baby outside in this cold weather.” His soft southern accent was a welcome sound to my ears.

Another stirring at the doorway brought the next actors to this drama unfolding before my eyes. A tall, bear of a man escorted a beautiful older woman into the room. All eyes went to her by right and she acknowledged them with a queenly nod. The man sat her down before taking the last chair at the table one over from mine.

Ezra smiled at them both but I could see his nervous looks at the woman. And out of the back of my mind came the memory of where I’d first met her. Maude Standish, con artist extraordinaire and very much married woman of our great cities of New York and New Orleans. She’d aged well and I suddenly made the connection with her son, Ezra P. Standish.

What an odd coincidence, that I should find these people in a tiny little town in the back of beyond. And unless I missed my guess, the people who had the little girl that I was looking for.

“She looks quite nice, Ezra. Are you sure you should have brought her out into this cold night air?” Maude’s accents were exactly as I remembered.

His eyes flashed to Nathan before he took a deep breath. “She will come to no harm, Mother. We bundled her up very well before we brought her out. You look beautiful this evening.”

“So Josiah was telling me.” She flirted with the older man and I ticked off the last of the seven. “But it’s nice to hear it once again. Nathan, how is the clinic?”

The conversation made it’s slow way through the niceties and I could see them trying to navigate a battlefield of gigantic proportions. She had to be aware that her son was in love with the colored medic and they were obviously living together, once again under the noses of this odd little town’s inhabitants. The older man was buffering this encounter trying to protect the younger man. 

And yet, I was willing to bet that he was enamored with Maude. Nathan was determined to be polite even if it killed him and the only one not with an agenda was the baby. She was the happiest child I’d ever seen. Her cooing always seemed to bring whatever tension grew down to manageable proportions. She was determined to see everything there was to be seen and Ezra held her with more assurance than I could see his mother expected from him.

Our dinners arrived all together and I ate slowly, pretending to read while I listened to their fascinating conversation. Nathan took the baby for a few moments and burped her gently while Ezra ate rapidly then he accepted her back while his partner ate. Josiah took his turn too and little Amanda crowed gleefully when he tickled her cheek. Perhaps I hadn’t been around enough babies but truthfully, I’d never seen such a sweet natured child in my life.

Even Maude softened when she plucked the baby from Josiah’s arms. “Amanda, I can see that you and I will have to have a little talk about men much sooner than I thought. You’re going to have them all wrapped around your little finger and there are responsibilities that go along with that power.”

She spoke softly but commandingly and the baby gazed at her with wide eyes before kicking up her feet and crowing again. The men tried not to laugh, they really did but it was no use and soon even Ezra was chuckling at the unexpectedly sweet picture of his daughter in her grandmother’s arms.

I checked myself with a mental slap. Where had those words come from? I’d lost my perspective of this case. I turned another page of my book and pondered my instructions. Another choked laugh brought my eyes up in time to see Amanda twist her little hands around the pearls circling Maude’s throat and bring them to her mouth. Maude took it in stride and asked them if they’d thought of a teething ring.

They obviously hadn’t and I saw Ezra shoot Nathan a quick look. The colored healer chuckled, his soft answer making his lover smile. His voice was deep and clear as a bell. Amanda’s head turned towards him automatically, as did Ezra’s whenever he spoke. He was a very lucky man to be so loved and I wondered how in the world a former slave had ended up the healer in a small town in the west.

With a white man for a lover and a mulatto daughter – I shook my head and turned another page. This mystery would take both shorter and longer than I had anticipated. I had a sealed letter in my bags, that was only to be opened if I found the woman or child. I would have to read it tonight to see what it said. Taking another look at the family sitting there, I took in the love that I could see shining from the unlikely pair before me.

Love returned by the little girl they shared between them. Ezra had her back in his arms and her tiny hand patted his cheek sweetly while she blew a bubble at him. I just hoped that I wouldn’t have to break up this little family. Sometimes my job was less than satisfactory and made me do things that I regretted. Hopefully not this time.

They had dessert and Nathan compared it unfavorably to a pie that Ezra had made the week before. So the southerner cooked, too. He seemed to be a man of many talents and I decided right there and then to make sure that I talked to him without any of the others present. I was curious about them all and decided to not open my letter tonight. Tomorrow night would do as well.

I left the dining room with a nod of my head for them all and a gentle compliment on the baby’s behavior after I picked up a wooden rattle that she’d dropped. Ezra thanked me with that beautiful smile of his and I felt my breath grow short this close to his tempting body. The healer was a very lucky man to have all this beauty by his side.

Adjourning to my room, I readied myself for bed with more questions than answers.

***** 

The next morning, I walked the streets of Four Corners and spoke with all I met. Mrs. Mary Travis quizzed me about my supposed land search but she also gave me a valuable insight to the men who guarded her town. I doubt she even realized how much she was telling me of their history. At the general store, I struck it lucky. Ezra and the baby were there to do some shopping.

We struck up a conversation that lasted long enough for him to invite me to their home for afternoon tea. That fit my plans very well and I tipped my hat to Mrs. Potter who was busy playing with the baby before leaving for a ride about the countryside to inspect two properties that the banker, Mr. White had told me about. The exercise felt good and I cantered back with an appetite.

Freshening up, I walked over to the clinic and up the outside stairs to knock on the bright green door. Nathan opened it and his gaze looked me over very carefully while he welcomed me inside. Ezra was busy at the stove and the smell of fresh baked bread filled the warm rooms. A bright laugh from a box between two chairs showed me Amanda’s bed.

I found myself thinking how nice it would be for her to have the cradle that Buck had made. Giving myself another mental shake, I prepared to be charming. All too soon it was no effort at all while the conversation flowed around the table. Nathan fed Amanda a disgusting mixture he called pabulum but she seemed to be enjoying it while I ate a piece of apple pie that was truly food fit for the gods. A slice of sharp cheddar cheese on top made me sigh with delight.

Ezra dimpled at the same moment that Amanda did and for a moment the resemblance was uncanny. Nathan thought so too if his fond look was any indication. I’d never thought of myself as prejudiced but I’d been having a hard time reconciling Ezra’s loving relationship with a colored man. The big man obviously adored him and wanted nothing but the best for him. And Ezra appeared to worship the ground the healer walked on. They both loved the little girl that they’d adopted and their family was beautiful.

Suddenly, I had to read my letter of instructions. I said my heartfelt thank you for the wonderful tea and hurried back to the hotel. Slitting the envelope open, I pulled forth the single sheet of costly paper.

_Mr. DuBois,_

_If she is well and happy, leave her be. If something has happened to her and the baby still lives, bring her back to New Orleans. If indeed something has happened to Jasmine and the baby has found a good home with loving parents then leave her there with them and return._

_I trust your judgment. Provisions will be made for a trust fund to keep her dowered if that is needed. At no time will my family name be drawn into play. I will expect a full report when you return._

_Peter Robineaux_

Good heavens, what was I to do now? She’d found a loving family but not a conventional one. My first instinct was to return with a suitably altered report. I had no idea what his reaction would be to two men raising what I had always considered his illegitimate daughter with a former slave. A knock at my door brought me out of my dilemma. 

I shouldn’t have been surprised but I was when Maude Standish swept into the room imperiously. “Mr. DuBois, do you still work for that Mr. Pinkerton?”

Shutting the door behind her, I chuckled. “I do indeed, Mrs. Standish. And before you ask, let me tell you why I am here.” 

She listened intently and read the letter with a frown. “I heard stories about young Peter when I was last in New Orleans. He married well into the Desquanes family but there were rumors about his liaison with a former slave that grew up with him. What are you going to do?”

Her blue eyes flashed at me and I decided to tell the truth. “Little Amanda has two loving fathers and a very good home life. Are you here to break them apart?”

She sighed and paced to the window then back again. “It was not what I expected when I came three months ago. Ezra was always a difficult child and I was not the best mother while he was growing up. I wanted the best for him as every mother does and this backwater little town was not at all like him.”

“True but there is something to be said for love and friendship. That can grow anywhere.” I said gently and watched her nod slowly. I would have given a hundred dollars at that moment to know what she was thinking.

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “For the first time in his life, Ezra is happy and content. He has someone who loves and cares for him. This odd little town has given him back his confidence along with six good friends who would protect him, even from me.”

I chuckled and she shot me a heated blue look that silenced me. “So, no – I am not going to try to break them up. Amanda is a beautiful baby and just what they needed to complete their family. Will you go back and give Peter your approval of her family?” 

Nodding, I consigned my assignment to the done column. “Mr. Robineaux will learn of the loving and caring family that took in his orphan child without any details that might worry him. It occurs to me that it would be nice if I could report that Amanda’s grandmother was very supportive of her granddaughter.”

She tried to frown at me but it was a lost cause as she chuckled. “I believe that would be a true statement, sir. Now, I will let you get to your packing. You have a report to write, don’t you?”

I opened the door with a bow and found a large man just preparing to knock. Josiah’s eyes met mine and I would have shivered at the enmity there but Maude swept out. Taking his arm, she turned to me with a smile that I could only call feline. “Before you go, Mr. DuBois, do you by any chance know her birthday?”

“September 23rd, Madame, Amanda was born under the sign of the scales of justice. And may her life always balance between the love and happiness she has now.” I bowed to them and saw Josiah’s surprised look turn to joy at my words.

“Bless you, Brother DuBois. May your journey be a peaceful one.” His deep voice said my name with reverence.

“Your journey won’t be peaceful, Sir but it may well prove to be enjoyable.” I said with a smile at the unlikely pair. Maude dimpled up at him and I watched the big man shiver under that potent smile.

Closing the door behind them, I began to pack. If I made an early start, I could be on my way back to New Orleans within the day. From the street below, a band of carolers sang forth in the still cold air. Raising the window a bit, I listened with the sense of peace that always came at this time of year. ‘God rest ye merry gentlemen’, I hummed along with them. It was definitely time to get home to my own lover. Sweet David was waiting and the little girl I’d been sent to find was safe.

Safe and loved – no father could ask for anything more.

*****************


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More amazing news arrives.

Ezra  
***************** 

Amanda finished her bottle with a sleepy sigh and I set it aside so I could lay her in her make shift bed. She squirmed for a moment before falling fast asleep. I brushed back the curls from her face and outlined the plump cheek with one finger while I watched her sleep. She was so beautiful and I loved her so much that I could hardly stand the fear that someone might appear to take her from us.

When I thought of a grieving father some where, anguishing over the fate of his wife and daughter, I tried to be strong enough to let her go. But the walls around my heart were permanently destroyed and the fear was like a knife through it. I tried to hide it from Nathan but he had the magic ability to see into my soul and he’d told me of his own fears.

We comforted each other and spent more time with Amanda, soaking up her giggles and smiles for the day when they might not be there. I checked to make sure that the sides of her bed were covered. The orange crate that Gloria Potter had given us served as an adequate substitute with padded sides but I had a suspicion that Buck was making her something better.

Excited voices from the outer room brought my head up. It sounded like Mother and Josiah so I rose to my feet and went to see what was going on. Closing the door behind me, I found Nathan with the biggest smile on his face. Mother looked unbearably smug and even Josiah was beaming. Crossing to Nathan’s side, I listened while they all spoke at once.

A Pinkerton agent? I could hardly believe my ears. That nice man who’d picked up Amanda’s rattle was a detective? But when they said that he was a representative of Amanda’s father, I almost fainted. Nathan held me close and stroked my hair while Mother assured me that the father didn’t want to take Amanda, he just wanted to know that she was safe and loved.

“It’s all right, Ezra. She is safe and loved with us.” Nathan held me tightly and whispered in my ear. “She’s ours, sweetheart, all ours.”

I hid my face in his broad chest and held on as tight as I could while relief crashed through me like a sledgehammer. “Thank God.”

Josiah’s voice broke into the silence. “This is probably a good time to tell you something else, too.”

Uncertainty was strong in the deep tones and I let go of my stranglehold on Nathan to turn and see him. Mother was smiling a smile that I’d never seen from her before. And Josiah looked elated and terrified all at the same time. I had an inkling of what he was going to say and I held onto Nathan tightly.

“Ezra, your mother has . . . has accepted my proposal of marriage.” He looked down at her as if she were the most precious person in the world.

“Congratulations, Josiah. Maude, welcome to the family.” Nathan said simply and looked down at me to see my reaction.

I let go of him and reached out to hug my mother, for the first time truly feeling like more than an inconvenient son. “Congratulations, Mother, you won’t take Josiah away, will you?”

“Nonsense, Ezra, I would no more part him from his friends than I would leave my first grandchild while I played elsewhere.” She hugged me back, whispering gently in my ear. “Forgive me for leaving you so often in the past, Ezra. I was young and foolish. I didn’t know what a treasure I had in you. Please let me have a part in your life.”

I nodded shakily, all the words I wanted to say locked behind the lump in my throat. Perhaps I would yet know what it was like to have a real mother. And Amanda would have a grandmother to spoil her and a grandfather to protect her. I brushed the tears from my eyes and let her go to turn to Josiah.

“Thank you, Josiah. It will be nice to have a father.” I said quietly and let him hug me close. He was such a special man and I’d always felt close to him. Now that I was a father, it seemed so wonderful to have one of my own.

“I will be the best one I know how to be, Ezra. And I already love Amanda so I hope to be a good grandfather to her as well.” He patted my back and let me go with a soft kiss to my forehead. 

Nodding, I went back to Nathan’s arm and leaned against him, suddenly more tired than I’d been in weeks. He seemed to sense that and he kissed my other temple. “Folks, it’s been a kind of wearing day. How about we meet for breakfast here tomorrow so we can talk more about this surprising Christmas?”

Mother agreed and taking Josiah’s arm in hers, she led him away. Nathan locked the front door behind them while I started blowing out lamps. He checked the stoves and banked their fires then joined me in the bedroom. I was almost too tired to get undressed but he stripped me bare and slid me under the covers before checking on Amanda. Then he got undressed and joined me under the heavy quilt.

“Sweet dreams, Ezra. I love you, sweet cheeks.” He scattered kisses over my face until he brushed my lips with his.

“I love you too, Nathan. Wake me early so we can make love before Amanda wakes up?” I yawned and cuddled as close to him as I could get. 

He chuckled softly and held me close. “Good idea, Ez’. We’re going to have to think about a bigger place before she gets too much older or we’ll be back to hiding behind doors for a kiss.”

I chuckled and fell asleep before I could answer him.

***** 

But Amanda woke first and her soft cooing brought me awake at once. Slipping from bed, I picked her up and brought her back with me. Nathan held up the quilt and I settled her on his broad chest before cuddling up close to them both. She blinked and wiggled all over, patting his skin with her tiny hands. This was the best time when we were all snuggled under the blankets, sharing warmth and baby kisses.

I wanted her to know that we loved her, every day and in every fashion that I could think of. I never wanted her to ever doubt our love and support, no matter what she did. “Nathan, what do you really think about Mother and Josiah?”

His eyes were tender and his voice soft with feeling. “I think it’s the best thing for her although I’m not so sure about Josiah. But he’s a bright man and he knows as much of her history as you’ve told him about her. I think they’re both old enough to be looking for companionship rather than red-hot passion. Although, from what I know about him, there may be more passion than she’s seen in a while.”

“Nathan! She’s my mother.” I said indignantly and he just laughed. Amanda joined in with her little chortle that was so infectious and I found myself laughing, too. “I don’t want to think about the words ‘mother’ and ‘passion’ in the same sentence. I think . . . she’s sorry about how she raised me and hopes to become friends now that we’re both older and perhaps wiser.”

“Perhaps, sweet cheeks. Whatever her motive, I’m not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. If she stays and becomes a part of this community, then when Amanda gets a little bigger and starts having girl-questions, we’ll have someone who can answer them.” He was patting her back and she was wiggling all over again. “And who just made a mess, little girl?”

I chuckled and got up to get a fresh diaper. Pouring some hot water into the basin, I got a warm washcloth ready. “I wish we had a layette like I saw back in New Orleans.”

“You mean a table about waist height with a railing all around it and a soft surface for her to lay on?” He rolled out of bed and brought her over to the dresser top. “I saw one once a couple of years back. I don’t think it would be too difficult to put a railing up around this dresser and a soft pad like a double quilt under her messy little butt.”

That last was said with a fond smile at the aforesaid behind and she chortled again waving her little arms around while I washed her clean and Nathan readied another diaper. I’d gotten pretty good at changing her and I quickly pinned the new diaper in place while she sang to us. She had inherited Nathan’s voice and was going to sound beautiful in the church choir when she grew up.

It was at times like these that I forgot that she wasn’t born of our seed. Nathan cradled her again while I dropped the messy diaper into the ten-gallon crock that held a solution of bleach and water. It was almost full and I made a mental note to carry it over to the Chang’s laundry. Gloria Potter had patiently explained how diapers were made and in my spare time, I was hemming the soft cotton squares that kept Amanda clean and neat.

Vin had a surprisingly neat sewing hand, too. He’d offered to help with the caveat that I not tell anyone. We both sewed an hour a day while Amanda took a nap. He was a quiet man with a yearning for a home and I think he was comforted in our cozy little nest. I served tea and cookies when he came by. Sometimes we spoke of events but other times we just sat quietly and sewed.

He was a good friend. Each of the others helped in their own way and I was greatly comforted by their support. And now, Mother was come to become a part of our growing family. My thoughts jumped here and there with no pattern to them. I found myself stirring the oatmeal for breakfast with no memory of how I got to the stove. I was going to have to pay better attention to what I was doing.

I decided on omelets and I whisked them together while listening to Nathan explain what we had to do today to Amanda. She cooed at him every time he took a breath as if to tell him to keep on talking. She was such a joy and I loved watching Nathan with her, his big hands cradling her tiny body. But the knock on the outer door signaled our guests arrival and I put the bowl aside to answer it.

Luckily, it was Josiah and Mother, not a patient in need of urgent attention. Breakfast went well and Mother even complimented me on the omelet. She obviously was wondering where I learned to cook but I still could not talk of that dark time in my life. Nathan had gently asked me why I kept on cooking and I had told him that recipes stayed the same no matter what you did.

Order from chaos, I thought to myself although I’d tried to explain it further. He’d shaken his head with a grin and kissed me senseless, making love to me with all the passion he felt. I was a lucky man to have my other half accept my odd foibles with such abandon. We were well matched and I watched the pair across the table for the signs that they were matched, too.

And oddly enough, they were. Josiah wasn’t much of a talker except when he was telling a story about one of his journeys. Mother always commanded attention, which he gave her in unstinting measure. She played to an audience and he gave her one. It was fascinating to watch her emote then turn to him to see his reaction. His slow smile would fluster her so much that Nathan or I could get a word in.

I had a funny impression that Mother had met her match. Grinning down at the pabulum that I was feeding Amanda, I bit my lip to keep from laughing. There was a power in Josiah that everyone was drawn to and it seemed that Mother was no different. For the first time, I saw that their physical relationship might just be as passionate as Nathan’s and mine was.

Perhaps she’d been looking for someone to love the way I had been. If so, we were both incredibly lucky that we’d found our dearest loves here in the west. Amanda was waving her arms again and I handed her over to Nathan for her bottle while I started to clear the table. Mother helped me with the dishes, drying while I washed. We’d never done that together before in fact I’d never seen her with a dishtowel in her hand.

It seemed the age of miracles truly hadn’t passed.

“Ezra, I need to talk to you and Nathan about a little gift I got for you both and Amanda.” She sounded hesitant and I looked at her in amazement. Maude Standish was never diffident or so I’d been led to believe.

We came back to the table to find Josiah patting Amanda against one broad shoulder. Nathan was back to carving a teething ring for her out of a piece of oak and we sat back down to have our talk.

“When I came last time, I was quite taken aback by the two of you.” She began. Her blue eyes looked into mine calmly. “But I could see that you were happy, Ezra. That’s all I ever wanted for you. I was unhappy and insecure from the moment I bore you. I was seventeen and scared to death. I thought wealth and power would make me happy and secure a future for us. While you were growing up, I told myself that the reason I didn’t keep you with me was because you’d be a liability.”

She smiled faintly and shook her head. “That was a lie. I hated some of the things I had to do and I didn’t want you to see how terrible I’d become. When the war came and you were dragged into it, I was afraid for the first time in my life for another person. That frightened me even further and I tried to make you into something you’re not. I can hardly forgive myself for that but I’d like for you to try to forgive me anyway.”

I’d never heard this from her and I looked at her with adult eyes instead of the childish ones that had colored my picture of her. “I do forgive you if only because what you taught me brought me here to a small town where I found six good friends and the man that I love more than anyone else in the world. There were so many paths I could have taken but in fleeing the life I thought you wanted for me, I ended up here. And here is right where I want to be.”

Nathan slid his arm around me and I leaned into his solid support. She nodded sadly. “I thank you, Ezra. Perhaps in time we can even become friends. Anyway, when I saw that you were creating a family without me, I took a good hard look at myself. I didn’t like everything I found. So I made myself a promise. A promise to help you create a safe place for your love and at the same time perhaps create one for myself.”

Amanda belched loudly and Josiah beamed as if she’d done something momentous. Mother shook her head and reached for the baby. “Amanda, we need to have a little girl-to-girl talk. But not right now.” She cradled her in her arms and I had a sudden vision of a young girl of seventeen holding a baby in her arms while fearing for the future.

“Now, when I made that decision, I immediately set to work securing what you’ll need. Except for the piece of land that Mr. Larabee owns, the rest of you are without property. So I bought 100,000 acres just outside of town for you.” She held Amanda close and watched our reaction with an almost fearful expression.

“Maude?” Josiah’s accents were shocked. “100,000 acres?”

“Well, you need three acres of land per head of cattle. It includes water rights to the river and has two natural springs so water won’t be an issue. You’ll be close enough to town so Nathan can continue his practice but you’ll have enough room to build a nice house with bedrooms for all the children you’re planning for.”

I blushed. “Mother, how did you know that I want more children?”

“It’s in your eyes, dearest, whenever you look at Amanda or Billy or any one of the children in town. You have more maternal instinct than I ever had even though I bore you.” She rocked Amanda and her eyes softened when the baby cooed up at her. “The others of the seven have chosen your path in loving and they’ll need a safe place for themselves sooner rather than later. And I’d like for Josiah and I to have a place there, as well. It’s no good arguing about it. I’ve already put your names on the deed. Call it a wedding present.”

I looked at Nathan and saw nothing but amusement in the dark eyes. I sighed in relief and he kissed my cheek before turning to my mother. “Maude, I thank you for thinking of us. We accept your gift but we’ll have to have separate houses. You and Josiah will need your privacy.”

Mother’s eyes sparkled at him. “Indeed, Nathan, I think that would be best. There will occasionally be nights when Amanda sleeps over with her grandparents so her parents can have a little privacy of their own.”

And Nathan’s laughter was the sweetest sound I’d ever heard. We planned far into the morning until Nathan had to go to open the clinic and I had to go to my teaching duties. My dream had had farther-reaching implications than I’d ever thought possible. A school had been started and I was indeed one of the teachers. The children were a joy to teach and having Amanda there seemed to make them even more comfortable with me. Mrs. Travis was another of the instructors along with Josiah and Mr. Brewster from the livery stables. 

When I walked over to the storefront that was our current school, I could smell moisture in the air and I wondered if we were in for a bout of snow. Mr. Brewster met me there and told me we were indeed in for a seasonal change, as he so quaintly put it. Chris and Vin had driven into Sarney the day before and stocked up on extra supplies for the general store so we were ready for whatever hit us.

By one, the clouds were hanging so low that it felt like I could reach up and touch them. Josiah had the afternoon class but I wondered if he’d have any students when the first snowflakes began to fall. By the time that I reached the clinic, the wind was howling so hard that I had a hard time closing the door after me. A strong arm from over my shoulder caught it and helped me pull it tight.

“I’m closing the clinic now for lack of patients.” Nathan chuckled and peeked under the blanket at Amanda’s sleeping face. “Wore her out again, did they?”

“The girls think of her as a living breathing doll they can play with. I even found Billy picking up her rattle again and again. She seems to enjoy the sound of it hitting the floor. I’m thinking of sewing a string to her blanket and attaching it to the rattle so it’s not so hard to find the darn thing when it rolls.” I leaned against him and enjoyed his heat.

“Upstairs with all of us. I think that lunch might wait for a little while.” He brushed his lips over my ear and I moaned a little. “While she’s sleeping, I thought we might celebrate your mother’s extraordinary gift.”

I chuckled and nodded. “Yes, indeed, since Amanda woke up first, I believe we missed out on our pre-breakfast loving.”

“We’ll make it pre-lunch instead.” He promised me and ushered me out ahead of him. The snow swirled thickly around us and it took all his strength to hold the door open at the top of the stairs. We locked and bolted it behind us. He checked the stoves and added more wood while I unwrapped Amanda and put her to bed. Her diaper was still dry so I said a silent prayer that it would stay that way until after we made love.

I’d missed him and it seemed like days since we’d last held each other in passion rather than in sleep. Taking care of a child seemed to take a lot more energy, than anything else I’d ever done. Hurriedly, I pulled back the covers and began to undress. Making sure that the kettles in the bathroom were filled to the brim, I filled the one on the bedroom stove too. When she next awoke, we were going to take her into the bathtub with us for her first bath. Up until now, we’d just given her sponge baths but with two of us, I thought it was time for her to find out how much fun a bath could be.

Nathan was undressing when I came back in the bedroom and the temperature must have gone up twenty degrees when I saw all that lovely chocolate skin unveiled for me. “Ezra, that’s about the most lustful look I’ve ever seen on your face.”

His whisper was doing something shocking to my knees. Whispering back a soft ‘I need you’, I slid onto the bed with that little flirty glance that Mother had perfected so many years ago. It worked if Nathan’s reaction was anything to go by. Dropping the rest of his clothes in a heap, he dove in on top of me, taking my lips with all the passion I could have hoped for.

I loved the feeling of his skin against mine. And his hands sliding over me made me feel like the most beautiful man in the world. His hot breath made me shiver and when his lips tugged at my nipple I almost came from just that. His chuckle told me that he’d caught my reaction and suddenly slick fingers were sliding behind my balls to the small hole that ached for him.

“Ezra, you are the most beautiful man in the whole world.” He switched nipples and slid two fingers inside of me. “Last night, that handsome Pinkerton agent all but panted after you when you smiled at him. I think that I’m going to have to keep a close eye out or someone might decide to run off with you.”

I shook my head and caught my breath at the three fingers stretching me for him. “I’ll never leave you, Nathan. I don’t even remember what he looked like. Oh there, Nathan.”

“There it is, sweet cheeks.” And his fingers came out while I waited breathlessly for his cock to take their place. His lips on mine swallowed both our groans when he slid slowly inside of me. He rested balls deep while my legs wrapped around his waist to keep him there. I sucked on his tongue, entwining it with my own until we had to move.

We took it ever so slow and made it last for a long time. Who knew when we’d have the time to make love like this again? Finally he bathed me with his seed and I made a mess between our stomachs. Nathan held me close, scattering little kisses over my face until my body forced him out. He rolled off of me and got a warm cloth to clean us up. We dosed for a while until Amanda woke up and told us in no uncertain terms that she wanted her lunch.

Life just didn’t get better than this, I decided while fixing a grownup lunch. Nathan was giving her a bottle of milk and telling her a story about snow while she listened to his voice in fascination. Amanda had a little of our soup and tried to decide if she liked the broth or not. Eventually she dozed while we finished our fresh bread and vegetable soup. Nathan cleaned up while I put her back in bed so I could fill the tub for our bath.

She was wide-awake when I finished putting in the last of the hot water and she cooed in my ear, seeming to like my bare skin as much as her father did. Nathan joined us, getting in first then taking her from me while I climbed in. First we dipped her toes in and she splashed us happily at once. She literally had no fear at all and I wondered if all babies were like her or if she was simply the best little girl in the world.

Of course, I might be a wee bit prejudiced.

We washed her hair with the gentle soap that I made sure we kept on hand for our hair. She fussed a little when some water got in her ears but once I dried them, she seemed to forget all about it. She looked like a little angel with a head full of bubbles and I wished that I knew how to draw so I could make a picture for us to remember this moment always.

Taking turns holding her, we made sure we got washed, too. The bath lasted until the water began to cool off. Once again, he got out first then took her from me while I got out. Nothing smells sweeter than a freshly washed baby does. I dried her hair with gentle pats and rubs until it was as dry as I could get it. Gloria Potter had given Amanda a little flannel wrapper that felt almost as soft as she did.

We dressed casually and adjourned to the outer room. Nathan settled in with the latest copy of JAMA while I pulled out my copy of Shakespeare’s Sonnets. Amanda settled in my arm with her rattle to gnaw on while I read aloud to her the glorious words that were just as relevant today as they had been two hundred and seventy-five years before.

She listened with wide eyes, almost forgetting to chew on her fingers. And when next I looked up, Nathan had set down his journal and was listening too. His eyes were intent on my face and the look there made me feel as beautiful as he swore he found me.

“You have the most beautiful accent, Ezra. I think Shakespeare would have enjoyed the way you read his poetry.”

“There is a controversial theory that he might have been writing about another man instead of the Dark Lady he mentions.” I flirted with him a little and he smiled at me.

“If he looked anything like you, Ezra, I can well believe it. Read some more for us.” He settled back in the chair and closed his eyes.

I began anew to seduce my lover with words. Perhaps Amanda could be persuaded to take another nap in an hour or two. In the soft lamplight, I read another love sonnet for my two dearest loves. I hoped all of us were safe and warm and loved this snowy day.

*********************


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Four Corners digs out from under the blizzard.

Nathan  
****************** 

I came in from the cold and snow stamping off the excess at the top of the stairs so I didn’t track anything in. The first thing I noticed was the smell of fresh bread. The second thing I noticed was Amanda waving to me from a nest on the table. But the third thing was Ezra coming towards me with a towel and that was just about the most beautiful sight I’d ever seen.

He dimpled up at me and threw the towel over my head before kneeling down to get my cold toes free of the boots I was wearing. “What happened to your hat, Nathan?”

“JD wasn’t wearing one so I made him wear mine. We got all the boardwalks cleared in town and I checked on Mrs. Gray to be sure that she had enough firewood. Everybody seems to be healthy and ready for Christmas. We’re going to be standing room only for Amanda’s christening.” I mopped the water out of my hair and felt the warmth of the room seep into me. Ezra had my coat unbuttoned and off of me before I realized it.

Amanda was singing to herself happily and I wondered, not for the first time, how sweet natured she was. I’d even stuck her once with that damn little diaper pin and she’d just looked at me sadly and pouted a little. I’d never seen such a happy baby in my life but she seemed to be the most beautiful soul ever born.

Of course, I might be a tad prejudiced. 

Ezra led me to the table for my second breakfast. The bread was so hot and fresh, he must have just pulled it from the oven. He didn’t like cooking with coal but with wood so I just made sure that I kept the woodpile full for him. He liked watching me cut wood for some reason and we usually ended up in bed after I chopped my quota for the day. It was kind of strange but then I had my own quirks.

Watching him make bread usually turned me on so quickly that I just had to pounce on him. We were sure a pair of lovesick fools . . . and I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

“Nathan, what are you thinking about?” Ezra put my plate down in front of me and I sighed happily at the sight of the eggs and ham.

“I was just thinking of what turns us on about each other.” I smiled at him and he kissed me gently before going back to the stove to get Amanda’s bottle.

“Well, I have to admit that ever since I saw you chop wood at the Black’s, I just naturally remember how beautiful you looked in the sun.” He brought the bottle back with him and Amanda laughed out loud, holding her arms up to be held. “You’d taken off your shirt and all your muscles rippled under that beautiful chocolate skin until I just had to take little Mary inside to get away from temptation.”

I chuckled and kept eating while watching him feed Amanda. They made a beautiful picture, the two of them each concentrating on each other. She’d taken to trying to hold the bottle herself and I thought I could already see her growing. She was kicking her feet more and occasionally rolled herself over, to her great surprise. Yesterday had been her third month anniversary and I smiled at her when she turned her head to the sound of my voice.

“She’s three months old, Nathan.” Ezra read my mind with surprising ease.

“And her christening is today. It’s going to be fun to see the others become her godfathers. I was kind of worried about Chris there for a while but he seems to have come around all right.” I’d watched him freeze whenever she was near him.

“The pain of seeing her overwhelmed him for the first week and brought back bitter sweet memories of his son. But Amanda wasn’t about to let a perfectly good male get away from her silken net.” He smiled down at her and she let go of the nipple to laugh at him. “She frowned at him and whimpered a little one day when he was talking to me. Scared me to death but he just reached into the carryall and brought her upright from where she’d slid down.”

“And that’s all it took?” I asked amazed.

He grinned at me. “She latched onto one of his fingers and started chewing on it. He looked real taken aback for a moment then he smiled a little and let her chew away. Since then he’s more relaxed around her. I think he just had to realize that she’s a brand new soul and her own personality.”

I finished my second breakfast. “Good. He needed to get over that if he and Vin are ever going to have kids.”

Ezra looked real startled at me. “Them?”

I chuckled. “I think our example is going to be a potent one, sweet cheeks. Especially when we tell them about the land that Maude bought for us.”

He nodded. “Buck has been worrying about how he can support JD if this job ever falls through. $5 a month doesn’t go as far as it used to. And he wants our sheriff to have everything he needs or wants.”

“We’re all pretty lovesick, aren’t we?” I finished my eggs and reached my hand across the table to him. He met it with his own. “And that’s one sickness I hope to have for the rest of my life.”

“Yes.” He smiled that beautiful shy smile that turns my knees to water.

But a knock on the door brought an end to our flirting. I got up to answer it and was surprised to see Maude at the door. She bustled in with a package and came straight to the table. “I know that you’ve been worrying about her christening dress since the Sears order didn’t come. I brought this with me. Perhaps it might do.”

She seemed kind of nervous and I thought again how much she seemed to have changed. Ezra opened the package and pulled out the most beautiful cambric lace dress that I’d ever seen. The lace was like an ivory cobweb, almost too delicate to touch sewn to the heavy white linen material.

“Mother, it’s beautiful.” Ezra’s eyes were kind of dazed and he looked at her with that wondering look that I’d been gifted with a time or two. That was the one that said he couldn’t belief how lucky he was. 

“It was mine when I was born and yours, too. It’s been packed away for years. I hoped you would accept it for the next generation.” She said quietly and he got up from the table and came to her, hugging her one handed.

“The new generation thanks you.” He said just as quietly. 

I was so proud of him that I could have burst my buttons. He was so much more confident and open than he’d been when I first met him. I liked to think that it was loving me that had brought out the real Ezra that he’d been hiding behind all those layers of defense. And Maude was finally opening up, too. She’d been hurt and scared when she had him alone with no one to turn to but she’d persevered and kept hold of him even though she could have given him up for adoption at any time.

Thank God, she hadn’t done that. I might never have met him then and my life would be so much poorer without him in it. It just didn’t bear thinking of that horrible possibility. So, I shook myself free of the ‘what ifs’ and came back to the conversation. Maude was speaking about our timetable and promising to help where she could. The service was at two this afternoon so we had some daylight left for folks to travel home.

Inez had closed the saloon for drinking and card playing but was opening it after the ceremony for the christening party. Mrs. Potter and Mrs. Travis had planned that and Ezra thought that was a wonderful idea. The whole second floor smelled of the pumpkin and apple pies and butterscotch cookies he’d been baking. I think every woman in town had been baking and it promised to be one of those parties that people date events by.

Chuckling to myself, I discovered that Maude was getting ready to leave again. I showed her out and said another quiet ‘thank you’ to her. She was trying so hard that I had to accept her regret for her mistakes of the past. After all, I’d made a few of those mistakes too when it came to Ezra. He was such a treasure that I knew I’d never give up being amazed at his love for me.

Going back in, I saw that Amanda and Ezra had disappeared. It was bath time and I needed it after all my shoveling of the morning. Heading into our bedroom, I smiled at the orange crate bed that would soon be replaced by the beautiful oak cradle that Buck had made for Amanda. I started undressing before following the sounds of water being poured into the tub.

Amanda was cooing nonstop while Ezra told her a story about a princess and a magic spring, which made everyone who bathed in it beautiful. I finished removing my clothes and left them in a heap on the floor so I could join them. But first I grabbed the kettle on the bedroom stove to add to the bath. The steam was rising from the tub and Ezra was already naked and waiting for me when I poured the last three gallons in. I tested it first and got in, taking Amanda from him when I was safely down.

She was crowing and laughing up a storm when I let her paddle in the warm water. She loved taking a bath with us and always made sure that we got well splashed. Ezra joined us and grabbed the soap first to slide soapy hands over her squirming little body. She laughed and laughed when he tickled her, bringing a smile to both our faces. Amanda was such a joy that I wondered aloud how we’d ever gotten along without her.

“We were just waiting for the perfect baby to come.” Ezra assured me and I noticed that those soapy hands were now washing me while I held Amanda a little bit out from me. “And Amanda is without a doubt the most perfect little girl ever to be born.” He kissed her tummy and she giggled at the tickling touch. But he never stopped sliding his hands over my skin, going lower and lower until he reached my groin.

I came to attention the way I always do when Ezra is nearby and he chuckled while soaping my cock before moving on to my legs. I’m afraid I was pouting when he moved farther away so he could wash my feet. After rinsing my left foot, he kissed each toe into ecstasy before moving onto the other foot.

“Just you wait, Ezra P. Standish, I’m going to tease you unmercifully when I get my hands on you.” I warned him sternly but he and Amanda both laughed at me. “When did I lose control here, sweet cheeks?”

“When you gave me all of you and let me give myself to you.” Ezra told me gently and took Amanda from my suddenly trembling hands. “When you let me love you with all of me and soothed my heart with your healing touch.”

He leaned in and kissed me tenderly and I pulled him closer. When we had to breathe, our foreheads rested together above a gently murmuring Amanda. “And when you let me love you with all my heart, don’t forget that, sweet Ezra.”

The rest of our bath went quickly and we got out to finish getting ready to go. Amanda really liked her new dress and I had a sudden vision of another dress, this time in white silk with a long lacy veil and a beautiful young woman on my arm pacing down another church aisle. Sending up a quick prayer, I asked the good Lord to bring her someone like my Ezra to love and to hold on her wedding day.

She watched from the protected space between our pillows while we dressed in our best Sunday-go-to-meeting clothes. Ezra looked especially fine in his soft white shirt under the forest green jacket that I loved. The shirt he’d picked out for me in Sarney the day that we got Amanda, felt real soft and good to my skin and he helped me on with my brown jacket, which was the best I had.

“We’re going to get you a new jacket come Spring, Nathan.” He said determinedly and I nodded. He was the expert on clothes and I’d look good in whatever he picked out. “But I think we’ll stick with brown with maybe gold threads running through it. I saw something like that in New York once and while it would look awful on me, it would bring out your beautiful skin color.”

He’s the only one who sees my color as beautiful and I hugged him close and kissed him. Ezra had the nicest way of making me feel like any other man with just a slightly darker skin than his. I was the luckiest man in the world that he loved me. A soft cooing came from the bed and we broke apart to look at our beautiful little girl. She was waving her arms at us, demanding to be a part of our hug and Ezra chuckled before plucking her from her soft nest.

“Come along, Amanda, it’s time for you to meet your adoring fans and let Grandfather Josiah get your head a little wet.” He smoothed out her dress and the white looked like newly fallen snow against her golden skin. “You’ll be the most beautiful female there and the others will all be jealous. But you must be magnanimous like the little princess that you are and smile on your devoted subjects.”

She patted his face and smiled at him, cooing in that soft voice that sounded like a morning dove. We tucked her into the coverall that had been her travel bed since Sarney and made sure the quilt would let no freezing air in to harm her. We bundled up ourselves and I took Amanda while Ezra took the half-box that held the results of his baking. We took the steps slowly and crossed to the saloon first to drop off the food.

Inez got a quick peek at Amanda’s dress and exclaimed how ‘bella’ the little ‘chica’ was. The bar fairly groaned with the bounty displayed there and it looked like it would take the entire town to even come close to finishing off everything. Luckily, the entire town was coming to the christening. We hurried on to the church and Josiah let us use his back room for our coats.

We unwrapped our precious bundle and she quietly sang to us while we made sure that we all looked as good as we could. A knock at the door told us it was time for the ceremony to commence and we went out to face all the eyes of the town. Curious eyes for the most part, although some were just happy for us and some were still unsure of our motives. But those who knew us were just as jubilant as we were on this blessed day.

We sat in the front pew with Ezra’s mother and the rest of the seven while Josiah stood before us all with a wide smile. “Friends, we are gathered here today to celebrate a new soul come to us in this joyous season. At the time of Christ’s birth, it seems appropriate to welcome an orphan who has come to make our lives more joyful. Nathan and Ezra, would you bring Amanda up to the altar?”

I held her and Ezra stood at my shoulder while Josiah anointed her head with oil. “I welcome you to the world, little one. What is her name, gentlemen?”

“Amanda Petra Jackson.” I said and thought wistfully of a world where she could have both our last names and not raise an eyebrow.

“And who shall answer for Amanda?” Josiah smiled down at his soon-to-be granddaughter.

“We shall.” The other four stood up on Josiah’s other side. They spoke together with one voice and it sent a shiver down my spine. Amanda would be a well-protected little girl for the rest of her life.

“Gentlemen, may you watch over and protect this new soul to the very best of your abilities. Just as the Christ-child came to bring us salvation, may Amanda bring joy and peace into our community with her own bright spirit.” Amanda cooed at him and everyone chuckled. “In the middle of winter, we celebrate the return of light to our world. Let everyone go forth from here with a new dedication to that promise of a brighter future. Brother Nathan has requested we sing ‘Abide with Me’ for the closing of Amanda’s christening. Brother, if you will start us off.”

The old comforting words came readily to my lips and within a phrase the entire congregation was standing and singing along with me. The echoes of the old Scottish hymn rang out into the cold snowy day and filled my heart with gladness. Even though Ezra and I could have no standing as a couple within society, here and now we were one supported by all who loved us. In the larger sense of the word, we were indeed a family.

And I’d have it no other way. Everyone shook our hand at the door and streamed out to the saloon for the party. Maude was wiping away a tear when she took Amanda from Ezra and rocked her while we got dressed to go out into the cold again. The saloon had never seemed so festive before. Perhaps it was the fact that all generations were represented from the youngest to the oldest. Grandmother Hale had come in to town to attend the christening and she smiled on Amanda when she saw her up close.

Our little girl smiled back and blew a bubble for her before clapping her hands, surprising herself with the sound, although how she could hear anything over the noise of close to a hundred people talking and laughing, I have no idea. The food began to disappear and I barely got a piece of Ezra’s pumpkin pie before it disappeared. But then it was time to unwrap presents and I got Ezra set down before Buck brought in the cradle he’d carved for Amanda.

Inez had done a beautiful job with the bedding and Ezra was speechless. I had Amanda at that moment and I gently laid her into the soft white lace nest. She clapped her hands again and sang to us before falling asleep between one breath and the next. We’d finally tired her out. The rest of the presents were mostly clothes and toys. I knew that the rest of the seven would be giving us their gifts on Christmas day after the church service.

The party wound down eventually and we chanced leaving Amanda in her cradle but covered with the quilt across the street and up the stairs to home. Ezra whisked the orange crate away and the cradle fit snugly in its place. She was still asleep and hardly moved even when Ezra picked her up and undressed her. He put one of her new flannel wrappers on and tucked her back in with a little pat.

Out in the common room, we said quiet good-byes to everyone and they all said they’d meet us at eleven at the church. Closing the door and locking it behind them, I held out my arms and Ezra came into them with a rush. Holding him after so many hours without being able to touch him was pure heaven. His arms wrapped around me and I nuzzled his sweet smelling hair with a sigh of relief.

“I loved the party but I need you now more than I need air to breathe.” His voice was plaintive and I chuckled.

“The feeling is mutual, sweet cheeks. Let’s go to bed for a nap.” I began walking us to the bedroom and he pulled back far enough to smile up at me.

“A nap? I was thinking more along the lines of getting naked and touching you all over until you scream.” He said with such serious intent that it took me a moment to really hear his words.

And that picture had me picking him up and throwing him over my shoulder until I could throw him onto our bed. “I was thinking of making you scream, Ezra, but first we have to get rid of some clothes.”

He chuckled and pulled me down on top of him. “Your wish is my command, Nathan. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” I kissed him and he opened sweetly to me, sucking my tongue into his tasty mouth. We feasted for a long moment before getting up to undress and hang everything up. He was the tidiest man I knew and I had begun to follow his example. Of course, watching him take off his clothing was one of the nicest things I’d seen in a long time.

We fell back into bed and playfully wrestled until he was atop me while my fingers slid deep into his heat, preparing him for my steel hard cock. His little moan told me he was ready and he guided me home slowly sinking down on me with another breathy moan. I watched him flush while he adjusted to my size yet again. Then those beautiful green eyes opened and gazed down into mine.

“I have you now, Nathan and I’m never letting you go.” He used his strong leg muscles to rise up before sitting back down.

“Good, I’m never letting you go either. I love you, Ezra P. Standish. Maybe one of these days we’ll be christening William Nathan Standish.” I thrust up a little and drank in his sigh with greedy ears. My dark hands slid up to his slender waist and caressed his skin.

“Someday, Nathan, we just might be. Until then, I need you to make love to me as if we were making William ourselves from just the two of us.” He leaned forward and kissed me while I rolled us both so he was under me and I could plant my knees for the powerful strokes we liked the best.

His fantasy had a powerful hold on both of us and I gave him my strength while he accepted me with a power all his own. Something magical happened when we came together like this, something that I couldn’t explain but only feel with all my heart and soul. He’d told me of an old Greek myth about the beginnings of the world. Souls had been divided by a cataclysm and now each soul looked for its other half.

I’d found my other half in him and he in me. That sounded like a true story to me and it was at moments like this that I rejoiced in the bright light that was my Ezra. His radiance took me in and made me whole again just like it did each time he welcomed me into his body. I was the luckiest man in the world and I said yet another prayer of thanksgiving while he froze under me and began to climax between us.

That was all it took to pull mine from me as well. I cradled him close and reached a long arm for the towel that we kept on the side table. His legs could cramp if we stayed in this position too long so I rolled us so he was on top again. Unfortunately that forced me out of his hot channel and he whimpered just a little. But he wasn’t hurt as I tenderly checked him and cleaned us both up. We murmured ‘I love you’s’ to each other and fell asleep almost as quickly as Amanda had in her new cradle.

Tomorrow would be another day of feasting and rejoicing. I smiled into his hair and joined him in slumber.

*******************


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas in Four Corners.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The haikus are mine. They're such fun to write!

Ezra  
*************** 

Christmas morning dawned bright and clear, the early sun glinting off the piles of snow that Nathan and the others had shoveled the day before. I heated Amanda’s bottle and contemplated some of the decorations that we’d put up after her christening. The boughs of evergreen at the windows smelled wonderful in the warm air. Strong arms slid around me and soft lips kissed the back of my neck.

The mistletoe right above the stove had warned me that Nathan had planned something.

“Good morning, sweet cheeks. Merry Christmas!” He kissed that spot under my ear and I sighed happily before turning to let his lips meet mine.

We kissed slowly with all the joy that had been mine since the hayloft seven months ago, simmering between us. I was the happiest man in the world. Nathan’s soft lips finally left mine and quirked upward in the smile that I loved most. “What smells so good, Ezra? Spicy?”

I smiled up at him. “ I put cinnamon oil on the candle wicks and in the lamp oil. And the pumpkin pies that I held back are contributing also.”

He smiled back and cocked his head. “I think I hear Amanda. Shall we cuddle for a while before getting up to get ready for church?”

Nodding, I checked the bottle of milk and lifted it from the heated water. Wiping it off, I popped on the rubber nipple and tested it against my wrist to make sure it wasn’t too hot for our little angel before returning to the bedroom. She was lying on Nathan’s chest while he blew little gusts of air to make her laugh. Amanda was the happiest child I’d ever seen and suddenly I had a vision of another child who huddled in the cold dressed in rags.

I shivered all over and slid under the covers, close to my lover and our child. He’s always alert to my moods and this time was no exception. “What’s wrong, Ezra?”

Kissing him gently, I told him of my fear. “We’ve got the happiest baby in the world even though it was a tragedy that brought her to us. What of all the other little ones, abandoned because they’re not strong or pretty or smart?”

He pushed himself up using the headboard and pillow to brace himself before putting Amanda into my arms so he could pull us both into his embrace. “I’ve thought of those orphans, too. So many children were left fatherless by the War or abandoned in the cities because a mother couldn’t support them. They are the flotsam and jetsam of all societies, even a rich society like America’s. We can’t rescue them all but our next child may come from just such a predicament.”

“I love you, Nathan.” I kissed him in gratitude for his not making light of my fears. He always took me seriously even when I’d alarmed him with my dream of bearing our child. We broke apart to breathe and I settled happily in the crook of his arm to feed our daughter. “Our son is just waiting to come to us. He’ll be a little older than Amanda, I think.”

Nathan nodded and checked her diaper. “Still dry, sweetheart, you’re such a good girl. I like the idea of having a son whether he’s black or white. If he’s white then we can have William Standish to go along with Amanda Jackson.”

I chuckled. “That would be very nice indeed, Nathan.”

We settled in for a cuddle and I realized that this Christmas would be the very best holiday of my life. I’d told Nathan that he was my greatest gift and I’d meant every word. He’d given me a home and now a daughter to love. He cherished my body, heart and mind, over and over again. I’d never felt so loved ever before in my life. 

Amanda cooed in my arms and finished her bottle with a bit of a slurp. Nathan chuckled and took the glass bottle while I brought her up to my shoulder for burping. “Are we ready for the others? I know we have enough dessert.”

“Chris said he’d take care of our drinks while Buck and JD are bringing the turkey. Josiah is baking bread at the church and Mother said she would bring the greens.” I wondered if she could cook or would just have the hotel make up something. “Vin said he was making his mother’s favorite recipe. He wouldn’t say what it is but I’m hoping for something southern like pickled okra or something like that.”

“Ick, I hate okra.” Nathan made a face and Amanda burped at him. “You didn’t hear me say that, sweetheart, and if that’s what he brings then I’ll eat some.”

I chuckled. “Slide it onto my plate and I’ll eat yours, too.”

“You’re an angel, Ezra.” He kissed me again and Amanda joined in with baby kisses.

In no time at all, we were ready for church. The old leather satchel was Amanda’s traveling bed and Nathan carried her while I walked at his other side. We met Mrs. Potter on the way and I offered her my arm since the walks were still a bit slippery. Josiah led a joyful service and we sang hymns before, during and after his sermon. The children’s chorus was especially beautiful and I thought how nice it would be when Amanda grew up to sing with them. And yet again, the vision of the little boy huddled in the cold flashed across my eyes.

I shivered and Amanda patted my face with a little smile as if to tell me that it was all right. Perhaps her joyful soul had seen the same vision but she knew something that I did not. I was a trifle distracted by the many best wishes of our neighbors and we slowly made our way home. Nathan took Amanda to put her down for her nap while I laid the table for eight. 

That still had the ability to surprise me, that Mother was here . . . for Christmas . . . and she wanted to be a part of the celebration. The first knock at the door brought Vin with a big bowl of pickled okra and green beans, followed in rapid succession by the others, all bearing food and gifts. At first the conversation was a little stilted with Mother there but Josiah announced their coming nuptials and that seemed to make everyone relax.

Dinner was superb and we all ate too much, except for Amanda who awoke in time for her applesauce and pabulum. Vin and I did the dishes so we could clear the table for the presents. Big and small, they showed the individuality of each of the seven. Nathan and I had gotten everyone a new hat from the tailor in Sarney. They all had to try them on at once and the different styles fit each of them.

Buck had carved all of us oak napkin holders, each one representing our favorite animal. He’s a master with the carving knife and the slumbering cat on my holder was so detailed that I was amazed at his skill. Nathan’s dog was a Labrador retriever. Chris’ had a fish in mid flip and Vin’s wolf head was a small masterpiece. Josiah’s bear was alert and JD’s horse head looked like his real life counterpart. He’d even carved a deer for himself and a little robin for Amanda. He promised Mother that he’d carve a swan for her.

JD and Josiah had made spirit bracelets for all of us. My soon-to-be father provided the crystals that he’d found in India and carried with him on his travels. A single drop of liquid fire was what the brightly colored stones appeared to be suspended from the narrow leather bands that JD had tooled for us. But Mother’s green stone was mounted in a ring of gold and we watched her with baited breath when she first saw it.

I was praying that she would accept it in the spirit that he gave it but even I was surprised by her reaction. She caught her breath and I saw tears in her eyes when she held her hand out mutely for him to put on her left ring finger. His hands were shaking when he slid it on and it flashed with emerald fire when she held it to the light. I blinked hard and looked again. It really was an emerald and a gem of surpassing beauty.

Looking at Amanda’s little necklace of braided silk, I saw that her stone was a sapphire and my own green stone was another emerald. Nathan’s was a yellow diamond and I was willing to bet all of them were just as valuable. The others didn’t seem to know so I kept silent and vowed to take very good care of Amanda’s second piece of jewelry.

Chris had gotten everyone a book for Christmas and I thanked him sincerely for the New York Culinary Master Works cookbook that I unwrapped. Both fiction and nonfiction were well represented around the table and everyone looked greatly satisfied by their present. And that just left Vin to pull out a bag of tightly rolled pieces of paper, each of them tied with a red ribbon bow. He looked very nervous when he handed them out and I wondered just what he had made for us.

Nathan unrolled his first and the delighted look on his face made Vin finally smile, too. “It’s beautiful, Vin. Did you write it?”

“Yeah, Ezra told me about poetry and Josiah talked about those Japanese poems called, um . . . hai- haiku. So I wrote one for everybody.” Those shy blue eyes still looked a little uncertain but you could tell he was feeling a touch more confident. “Maude helped me with the spelling.”

I glanced at Mother and she just smiled. “I was glad to help, Vin, but the inspiration and beautiful images are entirely yours.”

We passed them around the table and I knew that I would treasure mine forever. Amanda’s was so perfect that I could have wept. Vin saw into the soul of a person and the short poems of haiku fit each personality to a ‘t’. I quietly made plans to frame our three so they would be protected from the ravages of time.

Mother announced her gift after all the wrapping papers were cleared away. Everyone froze in shock and the silence stretched until it was almost uncomfortable. Josiah moved closer to her as if to protect her but that wasn’t necessary. The relief was almost palpable around the table with Buck leading off with his thanks. The plat map was brought out and soon the table was littered with different pieces of paper. 

I’d made a few sketches of what our home might look like and Buck was soon drawing on the back of one of the wrapping sheets how we might connect the houses but still leave us our privacy. I looked around the table and the circle of friends I’d made after so many years of loneliness and was content. I leaned into Nathan’s shoulder and his arm came up to cuddle Amanda and me close.

Instead of a supper, we ate our pie and cake about five o’clock before the party broke up and the others left with cheery thanks for our hospitality. It was our first party and it had been a success. Nathan took Amanda in to change her diaper while I puttered around putting things away. The silence was rather nice after all the voices of the afternoon. But Amanda was singing and her siren song pulled me into the bedroom.

“Ezra, are you all right?” Nathan’s concerned voice brought me out of my abstraction.

“I’m fine, Nathan, just a little tired after our wonderful Christmas. I think that I might like a cup of chamomile tea to settle my stomach.” I wandered back into the kitchen area and put the teakettle on the stove. The pot was still sitting on the drain board where I’d put it after washing it.

“Sweetheart, do we need to cuddle a little?” Nathan’s call was hesitant and I smiled at his perceptive thought.

“Yes, I think we do. Are you hungry at all?” I chuckled at his horrified ‘no’ and even Amanda chortled. The teakettle whistled and I shook some loose chamomile from one of the glass jars that held our different teas into the pot. Assembling a tray, I took it back into the bedroom and joined my lover and our daughter on the bed. Nathan took the tray from me and set it aside while I picked up Amanda.

Her warm, sweet weight was just what I needed and I snuggled closer to Nathan with a sigh of relief. He held us both close and we lay in contented silence until the tea had finished steeping. Once we had our cups, I idly turned the bracelet on my wrist and admired the gleaming green fire. Amanda tried to grab it and put it in her mouth and we chuckled at her pout when I took it out of reach.

“The stones are worth more than we think, aren’t they?” Nathan was looking at the golden yellow crystal on his wrist.

“Yes. Mother’s stone is a real emerald and a good-sized stone without any flaws that I could see. Amanda’s is a sapphire and we’ll need to make sure that she doesn’t eat it.” I tickled her tummy and she giggled at me. “Vin’s poems were so beautiful. I want to frame ours.”

He chuckled. “All of them?”

I nodded and reached an arm to the side table for the three rolls of paper. “They are all so true to each of us.”

“Read Amanda’s.” He took her and laid her on his chest so she could hear his heartbeat.

“ _Bright laughter singing.  
Loving hands reach to touch.  
Baby kisses heal_.”

Amanda sang to us and I smiled at how well our tracker had seen into her joyful soul.

“Now yours.” Nathan patted her back and smiled at me.

“ _Dancing lights of green.  
Sparkling in the hot noon sun.  
Jade sparks into fire_.”

“Vin sees truly.” He said quietly and I nodded.

“He’s so quiet that you forget sometimes that he’s watching and listening to everything around him. He caught you perfectly.” I picked up the last slip.

“ _Wise eyes see the pain.  
Warmth and tenderness are his.  
Steady hands that heal_.”

Nathan blushed a little while I smiled at him. “He’s got a way with words all right.” 

I chuckled and yawned. “One of these days maybe he’ll be a famous poet and we’ll all be proud that we knew him when.”

“I’m proud of all of us right now. They took your mother’s gift pretty well, considering what a shock it was.” He cuddled me a little closer and I closed my eyes for just a moment, laying my head on his shoulder and breathing his spicy scent deep into my lungs.

When I woke up, we were lying facing each other with Amanda tucked between us still sleeping. Nathan was watching us both and he leaned in a little to kiss me. It wasn’t passionate but soothing and I let him seep into my very pores. We feasted on each other gently until Amanda awoke with a start.

It wasn’t that late so we got up and snacked on some of Josiah’s bread while Amanda drank another bottle of milk. A day full of emotion, I mused, but one that had truly been the blessing that this holy day was supposed to be. A day for love and family, I thought to myself, my eyes resting on my lover and our daughter, one that I would remember for the rest of my life.

And just then, a thought came to me about a gift that we might be able to give Vin and Chris. “Nathan, do you think that Mr. DuBois might look into that old murder charge that still hangs over Vin’s head? I hate to think of he and Chris having to worry every day about some bounty hunter coming to find him.”

“Or worse,” Nathan frowned a little, “shooting first and asking questions later.”

“Yes, indeed, that would be a tragedy.” I shuddered. “We are a family now and I don’t wish to lose any of our members.”

“Why don’t you sit down tomorrow and write to him, Ezra?” Nathan finished burping Amanda who promptly fell asleep between one breath and the next. He chuckled soundlessly and laid her into her cradle after checking her diaper. We quietly got ready for bed and he drew me into his arms the moment we settled under the covers. “Even if it cost a little something, we could pool our resources with the others. The Pinkertons don’t charge that much.”

I smiled at him and hugged him closer. “They are quite moderate in their fees and their reputation is very good. I think that Mr. DuBois would be amenable to taking on this investigation."

“If you’re the one who asks him, he will be.” Nathan’s tones were faintly disgruntled and I hid a smile against his tasty nipple. The Pinkerton agent had been an intelligent, handsome man with great charm. But he could never compare to my Nathan. 

I soon demonstrated to my lover his complete and utter possession of my heart.

***********   
Claude  
*********** 

“David, the oddest thing.” I finished reading the early morning post. “Do you remember the men I told you about in that small town in the west?”

“The beautiful young man with the colored lover?” He said over his shoulder while he worked on his latest canvas. 

“Yes, he’s writing to hire me to clear up an old murder charge against one of his band of brothers. The scruffy hunter, Vin Tanner, has an outstanding warrant in the Territories.”

My lover turned his blue eyes to me and smiled. “You’ve been wanting to go back there ever since the holidays.”

I chuckled and thought back to the odd little town and the amazing men who guarded her. “There is something intriguing about the whole setup there. If you could see the love that shines from them, the way that I did, you’d understand. Even though I wanted to come home in the worst way, I had the urge to stay and see what Christmas would bring to them all.”

“Or just to Ezra?” My psychic lover laid down his paintbrush and circled the table to sit on my lap. Wrapping his arms around me, he kissed me slowly until all thoughts fled. Mapping my face with his warm lips, he reminded me of the reason why I’d wanted to come home so badly. 

Sitting back a little, he quirked an eyebrow at me and I remembered his question. “Not just to Ezra but to Nathan and little Amanda and even the formidable Maude. They are all so vivid in my memory that I’m curious to see how they go on. Perhaps you’d like to come with me?”

“You’re taking the case?” David asked me with a smile.

“I’ll telegraph Allan Pinkerton tomorrow.” I knew that he’d probably say yes. His fondness for the west dated back to his arresting the Reno brothers in 1868.

“Then I will indeed accompany you so I can meet these amazing men that have you so fascinated.” David kissed me gently before going back to his painting.

I smiled fondly at him and reached an arm for my stationery to answer Ezra’s letter. I enjoyed a challenge and this investigation looked to be an interesting one. I believed enough in my own abilities that I firmly expected to find the truth. And perhaps David’s imagination would be so sparked by the unique family he would meet that he might be inspired to paint them. A family portrait of Amanda, Ezra and Nathan would be something that they could pass down to succeeding generations.

Whatever happened, I could hardly wait to again see the men who had so captured my imagination. Something in me was drawn to their quiet caring and ability to create a family out of such disparate personalities. Perhaps David and I would be inspired by their example to start a family of our own.

Setting ink to paper, I took their case.

*******************


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The investigation is a success. And Claude finds a belated Christmas present for Nathan and Ezra.

Claude  
**************** 

I kept my face suitably grave with great effort. In less than a week, I’d been able to turn up two witnesses proving young Mr. Tanner’s innocence. Lulu, a lady of the evening, was currently telling her story to Judge Travis and her street cant had the poor man’s eyes as wide as I’ve ever seen them. Earthy was the very least of what I’d call her testimony and every other word was a profanity that would have made one of the union busters blush.

But she was proving Mr. Tanner free of guilt with each and every profane word. The stenographer taking notes was bright red with embarrassment but manfully writing down her evidence. I was feeling quite satisfied with my detective skills and more eager than ever to take back a pardon to the man that Ezra Standish was so concerned about. David was off sketching a street scene on the edges of the growing metropolis of Oklahoma City. 

The weather had turned quite cold but not even that discomfort could keep him in our cozy hotel suite when new horizons beckoned. I’d just have to find some way to get him warmed up when I returned. Smiling to myself, I left that pleasant thought and returned to the lawyer’s office where the judge was concluding his questioning. 

“Mrs. Green, I thank you for your clear and . . . concise rendering of these events. If you’d be so good as to wait for a few moments, my secretary will soon have a statement for you to sign.” Judge Travis politely raised her to her feet and drew her towards the door to the outer chamber. “I’ve arranged for tea to be served right about now and if you need anything, you just tell the matron. Thank you again.”

She simpered up at him but allowed herself to be drawn into the outer room by the sweet faced matron of the women’s jail that the judge had thought to have on hand. He closed the door behind her and took a deep breath. “Well, Summers, transcribe that without the swear words, please. I need a drink.” I chuckled and he mock glared at me. “How did you find her, DuBois?”

“After speaking to some cronies of the victim, I noticed them frequenting Madame Rose’s establishment. A suitable bribe or two later and Lulu Green’s name came up. She’s shrewd and grasping but basically honest, especially when I was able to assure her of his death.” I accepted a whiskey and took a seat across from the secretary’s desk.

“This testimony plus the other witness you found should prove sufficient to free Vin from prosecution. I’ll make sure that they know at once.” He sat back and sipped his own whiskey.

“Actually, Sir, I’d like to take the news myself. I’ve been promising my partner a trip to Four Corners since before Christmas.” I met his inquisitive gaze squarely.

“Why?” He asked bluntly.

“Because I found your peace-keepers an intriguing group of men. And because I got an invitation to Josiah and Maude’s wedding.”

He snorted and drained his glass. “That is more of a miracle than even I can believe. She’s an amazing woman.”

“I think she may have met her match at long last, Judge Travis. Josiah struck me as a very discerning man with a heart big enough to take everyone in, including Maude A. Standish.” I finished my whiskey also. “David is looking forward to sketching the wedding party.”

“That would be a very nice wedding present, although I think Vin’s exoneration will prove to be the nicest gift that either of us could send.” He smiled faintly. “Then you may tell them the good news. Although, I believe that I have an invitation also so I’ll be seeing you there.”

“Excellent, Judge.” I started to say something else but Mr. Summers finished his transcript and got up to hand it to the judge. He read it through quickly and nodded his satisfaction while I got up to go and get Mrs. Green.

She was enjoying the cookies that came with the tea and they were mostly gone when I called her name. The matron had an amused look on her face and I wondered at her unflappability. Perhaps she’d heard worse language from the jail inmates? Mrs. Green took a quick look at the document and I guessed at once that she couldn’t read. But she nodded when the judge pointed something out and read it to her then shakily signed her name to the bottom.

Mr. Summers and I signed as witnesses and the testimony was complete. The Judge thanked her again and I escorted her out of the courthouse, back to Madame Rose’s. Before we got there, I gave her the twenty-dollar gold piece that I had promised her if she agreed to testify. She slipped it into her string purse with a relieved smile.

Once at the bordello, I escorted her inside just as I would any lady of quality and she preened at my gallantry. It cost nothing to be polite and was one of the secrets of my success. People treated with respect often repaid me with the truth when bullying would have garnered lies. 

Raised voices from down the hall caught my attention and I looked inquiringly down at the petite redhead. She sighed and gestured me further into the tawdry premises. “One of the girls had the cough real bad. I’ve been ‘specting her to kick off anytime now.”

Madame Rose was arguing with a man who looked like an undertaker and their conversation proved me right. The argument seemed to be about money and I quickly surmised the problem. Now that the prostitute was dead, she had ceased to be revenue and become a liability instead. Lulu whispered matter-of-factly that she had been sick for a week and hadn’t been bringing in any money at all.

For some reason that statement touched my heart. Ever since the search for the Robineaux baby, I’d had an urge to do good deeds. Breaking into the escalating verbal fight, I agreed to pay the three dollars to have her buried. Madame Rose simpered up at me and stroked my arm fawningly. I kept my sense of revulsion to myself and offered to help the undertaker carry her out to his wagon. 

He had a plank stretcher and I helped him straighten her out and lift her onto it. She weighed hardly anything at all and the wasting of her body spoke of a long illness. I asked Madame Rose her name and she told me it was Penelope Smith. How sad, I thought that this young girl who couldn’t have been more than seventeen should have to die so young after living the hard life of a prostitute.

Carrying her out the back, so we didn’t disturb the paying customers, I helped him slide the sheet-covered body into the back of his wagon. Turning back to the bordello, I spied a little boy sitting on the back steps, huddled in on himself while watching us load the corpse.

“Mama?” He asked and Lulu, who had followed us out, reached over to stroke his fair hair.

“Sorry, Billy, your ma’s dead.”

Tears welled in his bright green eyes but didn’t fall. I was struck dumb by the knowledge in that young gaze. He couldn’t be more than two but he already knew more about life and death than any youngster should know. His lip trembled but he didn’t succumb to tears even at that news.

I crouched to his level. “Do you want to see her before Mr. Black takes her away?”

He looked at me carefully before looking up at Lulu. She nodded her approval and he looked back at me. “Please?”

“Good. Now, let me hold you up so you can see.” I picked him up and wondered at his lightness. His little body was stick thin and he shivered in the cold air in his thin shirt and pants. I pulled back the sheet from her face and he sighed.

“Pretty mama.” His little hand reached out and patted her face. “Bye, mama. Love you.”

I had tears in my eyes but still his never fell. He carefully reached out again and pulled the sheet over his mother’s face. The shrill voice of Madame Rose came from behind Lulu. “What the hell are we going to do with her brat?”

He flinched and tried to make himself smaller in my arms. Sudden hot fury rose in me like a volcano and I made a decision in the space of two heartbeats. “Madame, he is no longer your concern. I will see him placed with a family so he will not be a burden upon your establishment. Mrs. Green, would you be so good as to fetch his things? We’ll wait in the kitchen.”

Her eyes widened but a sudden smile showed me the remnants of her younger self. “It’ll be a pleasure, Mr. DuBois.”

I carried Billy in to the warmer kitchen and held him close while he watched me carefully. “What is your full name, son?”

He blinked and thought about that before whispering it in my ear. “William Samuel Smith.”

“Well, William, do you understand what I said in the alley? I know of a family who’s been looking for a little boy just like you. They rescued a little girl a few months ago from a fire. Her mama died too and they love her very much. But I know that they’d like to have a son. Would you like to become their son?” I asked him gravely, speaking slowly in the hopes that he would understand me.

“No hitting?” He whispered to me with just a darting glance at the scowling Madame Rose.

My eyes watered yet again and I patted his back gently. “No hitting or saying bad words or anything else that might hurt you. They have big hearts and they’ll love you the moment that they see you.”

He nodded slowly. “’kay, Sir.”

Lulu returned with a little bundle of clothes. They were wrapped up in the sleeves of a nightgown, that might have been the dead girl’s. “Here you go, Billy. Be good for Mr. DuBois and good luck on your new family. He’s kind of lame, that won’t matter, will it?”

I shook my head and took the small bundle, bowing over her work worn hand and kissing it gently. “One of the parents is a medic so perhaps he’ll be able to help fix what’s wrong. Mrs. Green, it’s been a pleasure to meet you. I wish you luck.”

She blushed and patted the child’s hand. “Billy and me will both be fine, won’t we, kid?”

He nodded and smiled at her, his little face so bright that it stabbed me through the heart. “Bye, Lulu.”

I bowed slightly to Madame Rose and left through the kitchen door. Hurrying through the crowded streets, I suddenly wondered what I was going to tell David. Casting a look down at my new responsibility, I found him studying me gravely with perhaps a small spark of hope in his emerald gaze. With a start, I realized that those old/young eyes were identical to Ezra’s.

Now it was my turn to blush. “William, we’ll soon be out of the cold. I’ll need to get you a warm coat for our journey.”

That sparked his interest. “Not here? Home far away?”

“Yes, little one, it’s far away.” I hurried up the steps to our hotel and stopped at the desk to get our key. The desk clerk looked at Billy with a frown but I stopped his questions with a scowl of my own. It was none of his business if I’d suddenly gone insane and adopted a child, even if it was temporary. I told him to send up a tea tray with a good assortment of cakes and muffins.

We were on the second floor and I handed him his bundle while I struggled to balance him and get the key turned. But he was too busy looking with wide eyes about the warm room to even notice. I found it lacking in the amenities of our home in New Orleans but David had made it more beautiful with his sketches propped on all the flat surfaces of the little outer room. His sketch-book was gone so I knew that he had yet to return.

“William, how about we go through your bundle so I can see what you have?” I set him down on the little settee and stayed on one knee so I didn’t loom over him. He nodded and pulled the sleeves apart to reveal one shirt, one pair of pants and one pair of socks. A tortoise shell hairbrush made him smile.

“Mama’s.” He told me, stroking the soft bristles. 

“Good, I’m glad you have something of hers to take with you. Are you warming up?”

He nodded and began to look around the room again. I ruffled his hair gently and stood up at the knock on the door. It was the porter with a tray of tempting goodies and I tipped him before closing the door behind him. Setting the tray on the small table, I turned to find an empty settee.

“William? It’s all right. You don’t have to hide.” I spoke softly and crouched to try and find him.

“Okay?” His little head gingerly appeared from under the settee.

“You’re safe, Will, I promise you.” I held out my hand and he crawled slowly out. I watched him stand with a hand on the arm of the settee. Then he let go and came towards me. Lulu hadn’t been joking when she said he limped. His left foot dragged behind him while he used the furniture to help balance himself. It made my heart ache to see his slow but steady progress towards me.

Then he was close enough to hug and I gathered him in with a silent plea to a merciful deity for a cure for whatever was wrong with the twisted little leg. I picked him up and sat him in my lap while I pulled the tray closer to us. 

He looked at it then turned to me with an excited look. “Some for me?”

“Certainly, I can’t eat everything here so you will have to help me out. Would you like some milk?” I poured some in one of the cups and he took it carefully. I held it while he drank eagerly. When he was done, I pulled apart one of the muffins and fed him a piece. He nibbled on it with evident enjoyment while I poured myself a cup of tea.

I drank slowly while making a mental list of what he would need for the train ride. A jacket, warmer shirts and thicker socks for a start, I looked at the too large boots he could barely keep on and added new shoes to the tally. But he interrupted my thoughts when a small hand patted my cheek. He was holding out a piece of muffin to me and I smiled down at him.

“Is that for me, Will?” He nodded silently. “Thank you very much.” I chewed on it while he watched. “It’s very good, isn’t it? But perhaps we should try this little petite-four next?”

His little eyes widened when I cut the pink frosted cake into thirds. “For me?”

I held back tears at his hesitant question. “Yes, Will, you can have however much you want to eat. I don’t want you to be hungry, ever again.”

He looked seriously at me then smiled all over while accepting the bit of cake and nibbling on it. That heart-stopping smile was a mirror to Ezra’s and I could hardly wait to see his reaction to this child who reminded me so much of him. But once again my thoughts were interrupted with the rattle of the door handle. Will froze and tried to shrink in my arms.

David came in with cold hands and a full sketchbook. Shutting the door behind him, he looked at me and began to laugh. “Only you, my love, could leave for a whorehouse and come back with a child. I can hardly wait to hear this story. Pour me a cup of tea while I go freshen up.”

He laid the sketchbook down and dropped a kiss on the top of my head before going on into the bedroom. Will looked up at me and I took a deep breath. “I’ll introduce you when he gets back. More milk?”

He nodded and drank for me while I listened to David moving around. He came back out with his warm robe and slippers on, sitting across from us and reaching for the teapot. Once he had his teacup in hand, I told him Will’s story. He frowned and smiled at all the right spots, shaking his head at my folly.

“Claude, I love you. You’d better telegraph Four Corners or were you just going to show up with him?” He held his hand out across the table and Will shook it gravely, still not saying a word. “William, it’s a pleasure to meet you. My name is David. I think you’ll be very happy with the Standish-Jacksons. Do you know how old you are?”

Will looked at me then back at David. “Two. Mama said Feb’ury two my born day.”

“Ah, a child of Imbolc, may you herald a new beginning for yourself and your new family.” David smiled at him and Will finally smiled back. “Oh dear, you are going to break hearts right and left when you get big.”

“No break.” Will shook his head vigorously.

“No, Will, that’s just a saying. I know that you won’t break anything.” David patted his hand and reached for a cake, his hand hovering over the selection. “Will, which are the best ones?”

“Pink!” He said excitedly, sitting up straight and pointing at the twin to the petite-four that he’d just tasted.

“Pink it is.” David cut it up and took one piece for himself then handed one to Will, who turned and gave it to me. “Very good manners, Will, I can see that your mama trained you well.”

He nodded and chewed on the last piece that I’d gotten for him. I gave David my list of clothing items and he nodded, adding a flannel nightshirt and some long underwear to it. We decided to shop right then and he volunteered to sketch Will while I walked to the shops. Will sat on the settee with David on the floor near him with his sketchbook turned to a blank page.

My lover began to tell him a story and I took that picture of solemn Will beginning to thaw, as the story grew more exciting. I judge sizes pretty well and I was hard pressed to stop buying new clothes for the small orphan. He’d obviously been given hand-me-downs his entire life and I wanted him to have something that would be all his.

I returned heavily laden with bundles and David shouted with laughter at my inability to stick to the bare basics. But he was no better as I counted three sketches of Will and a fourth on its way to completion. David had grown up in a large family so he took care of Will’s bath before dressing him in the warm flannel nightgown and thick knitted socks.

We ordered dinner in and Will sat on my lap, looking in awe at the number of dishes on the table. He ate a little of the chicken cut up small and several green beans but he loved the applesauce that David had ordered and finished almost the whole dish. A little bread and he was soon yawning in my arms. I rocked him a little and he leaned against me, closing his eyes and holding onto the edge of my waistcoat.

David smiled gently at me. “That is a picture that I will keep inside my heart instead of my sketchbook. Are we to become a family as well, Claude?”

“Not with this little one, sweetheart. He belongs to Ezra and Nathan. But there are many out in this cold world of ours without a family to love and protect them. If we wish it, we can grow our family when we want to.” I smiled back and stretched a hand across the table to his. “I love you more each day, David. You have all my heart.”

“Ah, you hold mine within you, Claude. But hearts are elastic organs and can grow when they need to. Perhaps in time we will take in an orphan or two. When we’re older and a little more settled, we can look and see.” He squeezed my hand before getting up to make a nest on the settee for Will.

Guarded by a chair back, in case he rolled, I laid him into the warm blankets where he curled up and slipped a hand under his cheek, falling back to sleep at once. We left the lamp on low in case he awakened and left the bedroom door ajar so we’d hear him if he awoke frightened. Then I took my lover to bed and to sleep, already planning the telegram I’d be sending in the morning.

We’d see if Four Corners was ready for another citizen.

**************


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their family increases.

Nathan  
****************** 

I was nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rockers but Ezra was as calm as a spring day. Ever since we’d gotten the telegram from Oklahoma City and that Pinkerton detective, I felt like our home had been turned upside down. Ezra had looked at me with those hopeful eyes and I’d said yes. Well, what else could I say? He’d been so sure that his vision of a little boy huddled in the cold was a true one.

I didn’t believe much in visions but I surely did believe in Ezra.

And this little boy sounded like he needed a good home in the worst way. The news about Vin’s vindication had sent us into celebration mode. But although Ezra was just as glad as the rest of us, his mind was on creating space in our small home for the new orphan. With the aid of a screen and some fast work on Josiah and Buck’s parts, a small space with his own bed was made for him with Maude providing the feather bed. 

We were running out of room fast and I could hardly wait to start building our new home.

But first, we had to get through this winter and the dramatic expansion of our family. I did what I could to help Ezra make ready for our son even though I still wasn’t quite sure that this little boy was ours. I should have had more faith in Ezra. On a cold Saturday, Mr. DuBois arrived with his lover and the little boy we’d been waiting for.

One look into wide green eyes and I saw exactly why DuBois had thought of us first. He reached out a little hand to touch Ezra’s face and smiled at him while I shook my head ruefully. But when he said his name, William Smith, that’s when I knew that we had a son. I welcomed DuBois and the dark-haired man who’d come with him, getting them all settled around the table where a couple of pumpkin pies were cooling. 

William was in Ezra’s arms now and I sat down beside them with Amanda in mine. She cooed at him and patted his hand with her own while he smiled at her and patted her right back. I really should have believed in my psychic lover. Just like that, we were a family. DuBois introduced his companion to us as David Moreau and the dark-haired man grinned before asking permission to sketch us.

Ezra dimpled at him and little William nodded emphatically, for the first time speaking to us in a soft southern accent. “Pictures. Pretty pictures.”

“Well, if Mr. Moreau makes pretty pictures then we’ll just have to see some of them.” I smiled at him and the artist pulled out a sketchpad full of pencil drawings of the trip, DuBois and William. They were wonderful and captured a moment in time with just the few strokes of his pencil.

“Goodness, you’re quite right, William. They are indeed pretty and very well done. We’d be honored to have him find inspiration in our home. Now, while he’s doing that, would some pie be welcomed?” Ezra asked our guests and DuBois said a hasty yes. 

William sat on my other knee rather gingerly while Ezra bustled around getting plates and forks. He wasn’t sure of me yet but Amanda’s babbling obviously charmed him. The best plates came out and soon we were all eating pie except for Amanda who had a bottle of milk in my arms. Will was back on Ezra’s lap having part of his pie, smacking his lips with a grin that showed a dimple much like my lover’s.

Moreau had finished his pie and his pencil was flying across the paper while he looked at Ezra and William. DuBois ate more slowly but with the same relish that he’d shown in December. In between bites, he filled us in on William’s history. I could see Ezra hold him a little tighter when DuBois mentioned the bordello and I kept my anger to myself at the sad tale.

Just didn’t seem right that children should be having children and for a moment, I mourned the loss of her young life so much like Amanda’s mother. And the harsh memories that Ezra still carried from his six months servitude in another bordello. The world was a frightening place these days and children seemed to be a disposable commodity. 

That was the most frightening thought of all.

Amanda seemed to feel my sadness because she patted my face while I was patting her back after her bottle. Singing to me, she included William with a wave of her hand. We talked for almost an hour before we sent them off to the hotel to get ready for supper there. DuBois knelt by Ezra’s side and accepted a strangling hug from little William before slowly leaving.

It looked like he was ready to start a family but his partner wasn’t. I thanked God for Ezra just like I do every day. It might have been an awkward time but Ezra began talking to small Will about his new bed and his private space. He drew the screen to one side and there was the little trundle bed with the orange crate beside it for a night table and a curtain around it to hide the chamber pot.

Will nodded when asked if he used one regularly and I breathed a sigh of relief that we weren’t going to have two in diapers at the same time. The little valise that held his clothes tucked into the little corner between the wall and the crate and Ezra promised him some hooks so he could hang his clothes up. The worn brush went onto the top of it in a place of honor since it was all that he had of his mother.

I watched him pull himself from the crate to the bed and back to Ezra who knelt just an arm length away. The leg looked twisted but I needed to see closer. “Will, would it be all right if I took a look at your leg? Is it hurting right now?”

He shook his head shyly but moved right over to me. “Mama rubbed it. Sometimes.”

Handing Amanda off to Ezra, I picked him up and set him on the table. “Let me see, Will. Your Papa Ezra will tell you that I can sometimes rub his back right into feeling better.”

I tugged the little pants down and pushed up the leg of the tiny pair of long underwear he was wearing. I’d been right - the leg was twisted and slightly withered looking. “Will, if it’s all right with you, I’ll rub some liniment on it to help stretch your muscles.”

He nodded slowly and Ezra smiled at him before heading to our room for the bottle of liniment we kept by the bed. When he came back, he handed it to me and sat down beside me with Amanda halfway sleeping in his arms. Quietly he began to tell Will about how he’d first gotten a massage from me and I smiled in my thoughts at the memory of the last massage I’d given him that morning.

There’d be none of that until Will had settled in and we knew if he slept soundly. I mourned the loss of our loving but the slightly pinched look on the little boy’s face was slowly smoothing away the longer I stroked the small leg. By the time that summer arrived, I was hoping that he’d no longer limp. Or at least he wouldn’t limp as badly.

He thanked me politely when I rolled his long underwear down and helped him pull his pants up. “You’re very welcome, Will. I’m glad that you’ve come to live with us.”

Tilting his head, he looked at me for a long moment. Then like a small sunrise, he smiled at me. “Me, too.”

Ezra sniffed a little but his smile was just as bright. “Will, we’ve just been waiting for you to come and be our son. Amanda needs a big brother to help look after her and tell her stories and help her grow.”

He nodded vigorously. “Big soon, Papa.”

My own eyes were a little teary right then and I dropped a kiss on the top of the fair head before standing up. “It’s time for us to get ready for supper. Will, you’re going to meet the rest of our big family. They’re going to love you, too.”

He smiled hopefully and raised his arms to be picked up. I showed him our room but it was the bathroom that made his eyes light up. In more ways than one, he was definitely the child of Ezra’s heart. I helped him wash his face and hands while Ezra changed Amanda’s diaper, powdering her with the sweet smelling talc before dressing her in one of the dresses she’d received at Christmas.

Then they sat on our bed while we changed our shirts and picked out what ties we’d wear. I fixed Ezra’s then he tied mine while our children watched us. Our children, I shook my head at the way our family had grown and blinked back tears at the richness of our lives. I was the luckiest man in the world that Ezra loved me and he wanted our sons and daughters.

I hadn’t known how alone and lonely I’d felt until I opened my heart to the others of the seven. But loving Ezra had freed my soul to soar above all the things that I’d once thought important. Amanda was a blessing and now, William fit right into a corner of my heart that I didn’t know I had. Maude had said that Ezra was more maternal than she’d ever been but I think it was simply his great heart opening up to take all of us inside.

And being inside of Ezra’s heart was right where I always wanted to be.

Once we were ready, I took Amanda into my arms while Ezra threw her baby quilt over her so she didn’t catch a chill. William came obediently into my lover’s arms and we left to walk to the hotel restaurant. The little boy looked around while we showed him the clinic where I worked and the school where Ezra taught. He gazed curiously at all the stores while we told them the names of some of our neighbors.

Several people greeted us, looking at William with smiles and in the case of Mrs. Potter, a gentle pat on the shoulder. We’d made sure that the town knew that we were adopting another youngster so every one was prepared to see him. He was silent and clutched Ezra a little tighter at all the attention, his shy gaze darting to all the new faces then back to us. I hoped that he was going to be all right with the rest of the seven.

The hotel was warm and we went right inside to the tables that had been pushed together so all of us had a seat. DuBois and Moreau were already there and Ezra chose the seat by the Pinkerton agent. I knew that it was because Will would be more comfortable with the men he knew but I still felt a twinge of jealousy. Sitting besides him, I fussed a little over Amanda to cover my silliness. 

I felt his hand on my leg under the table, giving me a pat of reassurance. That made me feel better and I was able to greet Josiah and Maude with a smile. Maude sat down beside me and Amanda immediately wanted to hug her so I let her go. Will watched them for a moment before smiling that shy smile that made him look so like Ezra. Maude blinked but hastily caught herself and smiled back.

“I know that you’ve met many new people today, William, but I’m your Papa Ezra’s mother and I’m very glad to meet you.” She said quietly while patting Amanda’s back.

“Nana?” Will asked hesitantly.

“Nana it is, William. Tomorrow I’ll come for a visit so we can get acquainted.” She smiled and he returned it. “And this gentleman on my right is my soon to be husband so he’ll be your Grandfather Josiah.”

“Welcome, William. I’m glad that you’ve come to be our grandson.” Josiah spoke quietly but his deep voice made Will hug Ezra a little tighter.

“Josiah knows more stories than anyone I know, Will.” Ezra patted his back and smiled at his father-to-be. “When he comes over tomorrow with Mother, we must ask him very nicely to tell us some.”

Will finally smiled at the big man and nodded shyly. Josiah chuckled and took Amanda from Maude when she held out her arms to him. That seemed to reassure Will even more and soon he was meeting Buck and JD with more smiles. By the time everyone arrived and got introduced I could see that he’d reached his limit, laying his head down on Ezra’s shoulder and closing his eyes.

Ezra just rocked him gently and patted his back while we gave the dinner order to Milly, our waitress. Amanda was half-way around the table at that point, cooing and patting each of her godfathers’ cheeks. But when she got to Vin, she leaned in and kissed him before tucking her head under his chin and singing quietly. She’d never done that to any of the seven but us and I could see that Vin wasn’t sure what to do.

“She likes your hair, Vin.” Ezra chuckled. “I’d be willing to bet that her first words will be ‘pretty Vin’.”

Our tracker blushed and Chris was hard-pressed not to laugh. Buck and JD didn’t even try to restrain themselves but Maude soon put an end to the teasing with a question of DuBois about the investigation that exonerated Vin. The Pinkerton agent told his story well and I could almost feel the relief of the others when he detailed the affidavits that led to the rescission of Vin’s warrant. They were profuse in their thanks and he accepted with a graceful wave of his hand.

Milly was back with our soup and the conversation grew general while we ate. Will liked the vegetable soup and he shared Ezra’s. I buttered more than one hot roll so Ezra didn’t have to and Will really liked his share. When the ham and sweet potatoes arrived, I cut up both the slabs of Virginia baked ham so Ezra could concentrate on feeding himself and Will.

The little boy echoed Ezra’s thanks and gave me another one of those bright smiles that wrung my heart. It wasn’t going to be any time at all before he was entwined in my heart strings right along with Amanda. Maude had her back by now and her milk, which had been heated in the kitchen, was being slowly sucked down. Josiah was watching closely for his turn since he delighted in burping her.

Dinner was good but not as good as Ezra’s would have been. I exchanged a smile with my lover and made sure that he had all that he needed before finishing dinner. Will had eaten a good bit but he’d finally quit chewing and just nestled in Ezra’s lap. With sleepy eyes, he listened to us talk back and forth across the table. 

Dessert was chocolate cake and Vin lit up like a Christmas tree when his piece was set in front of him. That man can eat chocolate from dawn to dusk and never once gain an ounce. It just wasn’t fair that he could stay so thin and wiry when just looking at the icing put a pound on me. But Ezra laughed and predicted that more snow was coming and I’d work off all the chocolate shoveling.

He was probably right so I tucked in and savored the sweet tang of chocolate. Will had a bite and hummed his appreciation to me while Ezra just laughed and dropped a kiss on the fair head. It looked like I had a willing cohort in my dessert eating now and so I told him. 

He giggled and patted my sleeve. “Sweet, Pa.”

My eyes met his and I stroked his cheek. “Sweet, Will. It’s a good thing that your Papa is such a good cook. You just wait until he makes cookies for us.”

Will turned a little to look up into those green eyes so much like his own. “Cook, Papa?”

“Indeed, Will, I’ll need some help when it comes to making those cookies. Would you help me?” Ezra tweaked his nose and Will giggled again.

“Me, help.” He looked expectantly at the cake and Ezra chuckled before cutting another Will-sized bite and feeding it to him.

It looked like I was Pa and Ezra was Papa in Will’s eyes. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

***** 

Amanda was fast asleep when I tucked her into her cradle. Ezra was getting Will ready for bed and I started undressing in our room to give him some privacy. It had been a good evening and a good start on our lives with our new son. Soft giggles came from the other room and I smiled to myself.

“Nathan, we need a goodnight here.” Ezra’s voice had a definite lilt in it and I chuckled softly before joining him.

Will looked like a little angel in his white flannel nightshirt and his fair hair brushed off his forehead. “Night, Pa.”

I knelt by his bed next to Ezra. “Goodnight, Will. Sweet dreams.”

He held out his arms and I hugged him tight, kissing his soft cheek. “I’m so glad that you came to be our son, Will.”

“Me too, Pa.” He said earnestly and I laid him back onto his pillow while Ezra pulled the blankets up under his chin. “Say prayer, Papa.”

Ezra leaned over and kissed him. “Bless Will and Amanda and Pa and all of our family tonight and always. And please let Angel Penelope look down and see what a good boy Will is and how happy his fathers are that he’s come to stay. Amen.”

“Amen,” Will and I chimed in. Then I blew out the lamp near his bed and helped Ezra to his feet. “Sweet dreams, Will.”

“Night, Pa and Papa.” His sleepy voice was half-yawn and half-goodnight.

“We’ll be right next door, sweetheart.” Ezra slid an arm around me and we left our new son to sleep. 

Going into our room, we left the door ajar so we’d hear if he had a bad dream or awoke confused. There’d been an awful lot of changes in his young life in a real short period of time and I worried that he might be upset but trying not to show it. But Ezra was undressing and that sight would always catch my attention. He chuckled at my amorous look and hung up his pants before coming over to help me finish undressing.

That would have led to something spectacular if it weren’t for the little boy not ten yards away. Instead, he sweetly gave me kisses for every button that he undid and before I knew it, I was buck naked and lying in our bed watching him hang up our clothes with a contented little hum that told me he was happy. Then he was blowing out our lamp and sliding under the covers right into my arms.

“I love you, Nathan.” He said with a sigh, his head finding my shoulder while my arm held him close.

“Love you too, sweet cheeks. He’s going to be a fine son. I’m hoping that by summer we’ll have his leg straightened out.” I kissed his temple and pulled him completely on top of me.

“Really?” Ezra hugged me and kissed my lips right into tingling. That had other parts of me waking up instead of going to sleep. “Was it birth trauma or sickness that twisted it so?”

“Don’t know for sure but I’m hoping it was just something that happened when he was born. They probably didn’t have a doctor for the birth. If she was lucky, they called a midwife for her and who knows if she was any good.” I slid my hands down his back to those cheeks that I love to hold. “Regular massages and some stretching exercises will soon see him right, I hope.”

He wiggled a little and made my cock go absolutely rigid with need. Chuckling softly, he reached a long arm for the liniment bottle he’d put back by the bed. “How about a little stretching right now and I’ll see if I can’t . . . massage that ache away?”

“We’ll have to be real quiet.” I was torn between needing him desperately and not wanting to frighten little Will.

“I can do that.” He teased me while coating my cock with the sweet smelling oil. I caught my breath when he slowly eased himself down on me. His hands sliding over my stomach and up to my aching nipples, I had to close my eyes at the beautiful sight of him riding me. He whispered. “How about you, Nathan?”

Flexing my muscles beneath him, I thrust up just a bit and felt him catch his breath. His strong thigh muscles rode me while I slowly stroked his cock with one hand. The other hand was busy pinching those pretty pink nipples that I couldn’t see right now. His moan was almost silent and when he flexed his inner muscles around me, my groan was nothing more than a gasp.

It didn’t take long to reach our peak together. I held him close while he shivered out his climax between our stomachs and I filled him with my seed. Gradually, our heartbeats slowed and it was my turn to reach for the towel that we kept by the bed for clean up. Settling back in, side by side, we murmured sleepy good nights to each other and dropped off to sleep.

**********   
Will  
********** 

It was nice here. The room was warm. My blankets smelled pretty and the sheets were clean. Mama always tried to keep things clean but it was hard. I missed her. She was soft and pretty and she loved me more than anything. I know because she told me everyday. But I didn’t miss mean old Rose. She wasn’t nice at all. She didn’t want me to eat anything or drink milk like Mama wanted for me.

That made me sad so I thought about the others who’d taken me away and brought me here to my new home. They said they were glad I had come to be their son. Pa was colored but he had warm hands that made the pain go away. Papa cooked really good food and he liked it when I ate. Amanda was a happy baby. She liked me, I could tell. I was sleepy and I held Mama’s brush real tight. It was nice here. Maybe I’d be able to stay for a long time.

****************


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spring arrives and their family grows again.

Ezra  
***************** 

Spring arrived over night, it seemed. The trees had a lovely haze of green and Gloria Potter’s tulips poked their heads out and decided to bloom. It was April and everyone wanted to be outside. The school children couldn’t be kept in the classroom so we went on field trips to the stables, the clinic, the church and every other place we could think of.

Will still couldn’t walk very far so he stayed with Nathan at the clinic while I kept Amanda with me during my teaching hours. Occasionally, we’d swap children and little Will enjoyed the other children once he got to know them. I had the feeling that he’d been the only child in the bordello where he was born. The other children were gentle with him and his shy manners won him friends among the students.

His vocabulary grew by leaps and bounds, his sentences growing longer every day. I was so proud of him that I could hardly contain myself. After a life of deprivation, he was rather like those bright red tulips that brightened the back yard of Mrs. Potter’s building, expanding and reaching for the sun. Nathan and I showered him with love and he bloomed for us.

Six-month old Amanda thought he was her own personal playmate and he played endless games with her. I taught them patty-cake and several little nursery rhymes that they played over and over while the adults talked. Carrying Amanda back home after my classes, I thought about the house plans that had taken over half the dining table. We had decided to build near each other both for safety and convenience.

Our home had four bedrooms, an indoor bathroom, a nice big kitchen with an adjoining dining room and a parlor that would be comfortable rather than formal. Nathan had indulged my desire for the kitchen with a smile and a statement, that he’d give me any thing I wanted so long as I kept cooking such wonderful meals. I smiled to myself and tipped my hat to Mrs. Travis who stopped for a moment to compliment Amanda on the red ribbon in her dark hair and to inquire after Will.

I assured her that his limp was much less pronounced after the warm oil massages that Nathan gave him every night. I was hoping that the warmer weather would bring on even more of an improvement. I was able to return to her a compliment on Billy’s behavior with the other children. He had turned into a leader who enjoyed taking care of the other students. She blushed and smiled happily before continuing on her way.

I opened the clinic door and the little bell brought Nathan to the waiting room door. Will poked his head around him and his little face lit up when he saw us. “Papa! Is it lunch time?”

“Yes it is, Will. What have you and Pa made for our meal?” I teased him and he looked wide-eyed up at my grinning lover. 

“Well, I was thinking of eating with the others at the saloon. If that would be all right with Her Highness?” Nathan picked Will up and joined us by the door. He contented himself with a soft finger caress to my cheek since we were semi-public.

Amanda crowed out loud and chortled at Nathan’s soft kiss. I chuckled. “It sounds like she approves. Let’s go and see what Inez has cooked for our noon day meal.”

Will grinned and leaned over to kiss my cheek. “Yes, Papa, Inez cooks good food.”

“She does indeed, sweetheart. Hopefully she’ll have some milk for Princess Amanda.” I held the door for them and we crossed the street angling towards the saloon. Usually noon meal was much less crowded there and no rowdy customers posed a threat to our children. Inez welcomed us with smiles and we joined Vin and Chris at the table in the corner that had been ours for the last two years.

Josiah and Mother were still off on their honeymoon trip to Santa Fe. We missed them but we knew they’d be returning within the week and I, for one, was looking forward to seeing how being married might have changed them. Nathan just chuckled whenever I voiced my thoughts aloud and reminded me about his earlier statement about Josiah’s passion for living. It still felt odd to think of Mother as a passionate person but I hoped with all my heart that they were doing well.

I’d come to enjoy having Mother nearby after all the years of rarely seeing her more than a month at a time. Odd . . . how I had changed since loving Nathan. Looking at the tall man by my side, teasing Vin about something, I felt my heart swell in gratitude. My life was a joy instead of a sorrow and it was all because of this wonderful man who loved me. Amanda seemed to know what I was thinking because she patted my cheek with her little hand and shared a smile with me.

Life just didn’t get much better than this. Inez served the simple meal of ham and beans with a smile for Will and a bottle for Amanda. Nathan helped our son with his spoon so the beans didn’t land on him rather than in him while I fed our daughter. Ours. That thought could still make me catch my breath in wonder at how my joy in living had grown. I was part of a family and that was such a gift that I just had to give thanks again and again.

Perhaps there really was a deity who looked after gamblers.

Amanda had finally learned to hold her bottle so I was able to eat a few bites of the hot meal while she nursed. Vin was telling us of the chance to buy some horses from his friends in the tribe and I listened to him enthuse about the great breeding stock they’d be. Buck and JD came in and sat down across from us with a smile for both Amanda and Will.

They’d been to Sarney for the weekly supply run and Buck relayed the perils of their trip with the same gusto he applied to everything else. JD laughed at him but shook his head when asked if he could tell it any better. Some of the books I’d ordered for Nathan had come in and my lover lit up when told what they were. The Cluny Herbal was well known in the South and I’d finally tracked down a used copy for him. A Desert Garden was the other and I had hopes that it would enable us to grow more of the medicinal herbs that seemed to help so many.

“And last but not least, we found something that we think Will and Amanda will enjoy.” Buck winked at Will and our son bounced on Nathan’s lap.

“What, Buck? What did you bring us?”

“Ah, now that would be telling, Will. We need a little help in delivering some of the supplies. Would you be willing to help us out?”

“Yes!” Will smiled happily at Nathan. “May I, Pa?”

“Yes, you may, Will. Would it be all right if I helped too?” Nathan chuckled.

Will turned to Amanda and me. “You too, Papa?”

I shook my head. “Princess Amanda needs to take her nap and we can’t leave her alone. You and Pa can help out then come home and show us your surprise.”

“We’ll miss you, Papa but we’ll be back soon.” He smiled sweetly at us and leaned over to kiss Amanda’s cheek. “I’ll share, Mandy.”

Nathan and I exchanged a smile. Our children were such fun that I wished we had a dozen of them. Random chance had given us a daughter but it was surely Fate who sent Claude to rescue our son from durance vile. Everyday I gave thanks that I was so blessed with family and friends. I just hoped that Buck had thought first before getting their surprise.

I carried Amanda home after lunch and we went upstairs to take our nap. We’d had quite a strenuous trip to the livery stables and I was feeling a little weary myself. So I changed her diaper and dressed her in a flannel-sleeping wrap. Then we both lay down on the bed and took a nap. 

*********

“Ssh-h-h, Pa, we’ll wake them up.” Will’s voice seemed to come from far away but the depression of the mattress told me that the other half of our family had returned.

“I’m awake, Will. Did you bring the surprise back with you?” I managed to open my eyes in time to see what he clutched to his chest.

A kitten. Oh, Buck had definitely outdone himself this time. He was a tiny orange and cream tiger with big golden eyes that looked back at me solemnly. Will’s look was almost the same but with a pleading note that told me my softhearted lover had left the ultimate dispossession of the cat up to Papa.

“Goodness, what a wonderful surprise you brought home.” I injected just the right pleasure into my voice and watched Will beam. “He will be a good mouser, I think and he can share Amanda’s milk.”

“Really, Papa?” The kitten escaped the tender hold and immediately jumped onto my chest to delicately pick his way up to my chin. A raspy tongue licked that ticklish spot that Nathan loved to tease and I chuckled.

A soft coo from Amanda caught his attention and he purred at her while her little hand reached out for him. He backed off a bit but she didn’t try to grab him, just rubbed her fingers over his head. His purr grew bigger while Will giggled and helped her pet our new family member.

My eyes met Nathan’s and we both grinned. “My love, did you by chance bring home something to use as a litter tray?”

“We stopped at the livery and picked up some sawdust. I thought we could use that ugly pan that Mrs. Gray gave us, the one we can’t figure out how to use.” Nathan helped Amanda sit up so she could see what was going on.

“Good idea. Will, what is his name?” I asked our son who looked at me in surprise.

“I don’t know, Papa.” He frowned a little, obviously thinking hard.

“Well, my first thought when I saw him was how much like a tiger he looked.” I slowly slid up, dislodging him onto the blanket and using the headboard as a backrest.

“What’s a tiger, Papa?” He crawled onto my lap and I hugged him close.

We sat there enjoying our new kitten while I told him about the magnificent creature that I’d seen in the Ringling Brothers circus a few years before. Nathan had never seen one either and my whole family listened to me tell about the giant cat who performed in the big ring. I promised that if the circus ever came through, we’d all go to see if they had a tiger.

I got up while the children were still playing with the newly christened kitten. Dinner needed to be gotten ready and I bustled around putting the roast that Nathan had brought home onto the stove. Strong arms stilled my busy hands and I turned into them for my kiss.

He tasted of love to me and I sucked on his tongue lazily while his hands smoothed caresses down my back. We were both semi-hard but content to let the passion build slowly. Back when we were so new, it had been a forest fire feeling but now it was the steady fire of the cook stove just behind us. I loved Nathan so much sometimes that I still had to pinch myself to believe that he loved me, too.

“Sweet Ezra, thank you for letting us keep him.” Nathan kissed me once more and let me go reluctantly.

“He’ll be a fine mouser for us so I don’t have to worry about the pots and pans. I dislike those nasty little vermin quite intensely.” I shivered a little. “I shared a room with one once and I hated it.”

“Don’t think much of them myself.” Nathan smiled and stroked my cheek. “They spread disease and filth so maybe Tiger can keep us mouse free.”

The sound of giggles and a squeak distracted Nathan who hurried in to the bedroom to make sure that poor little kitten wasn’t being squeezed to death. Giggles erupted and Nathan’s chuckle floated back to me while I started cutting up the potatoes to place around the roast. We still had some carrots left but they were beginning to grow tiny roots so I scrubbed them before cutting them up small to join the potatoes.

Will limped out to hug my leg. “Thank you, Papa. Tiger will be fun.”

“He will indeed, sweetheart. Now, would you set the table for me so we’ll be ready to eat in two hours?” I combed my fingers through his soft hair and he giggled.

“Okay, Papa, I’ll help.” He had taken over several small tasks to help me keep our home tidy. It gave him a sense of belonging that was important to him and would be for Amanda as well once she got big enough to help.

I popped the roast into the oven after first checking the state of the red-hot coals that would cook it through. I put one of the cookie sheets over it to keep in the steam. Then I got down the porcelain bake pan that was too small to be completely useful for our growing family and put two inches of sawdust into it before trying to decide where to put it.

“We could put it by the door, Papa. I promise to empty it every day.” Will came over after finishing his chore. “Pa told me what we had to do.”

“Very good, Will. I think you’re quite right. By the door means we don’t have to take it out so far.” We placed it on the opposite side of the door from where we usually put our boots and I thought I might need another hooked rug to place under it to catch any sprays.

“Ezra, do we have time for a bath?” Nathan’s call caught Will and me crouching by the kitten pan.

“Please, Papa?” Will’s eyes lit up and I chuckled, standing and picking him up in my arms.

“I think that is a perfect idea, Nathan.” I carried our wiggling son back into our room in time to find my lover beginning to undress.

We took our baths all together and had from the first. Will and Amanda were both water babies and they loved the water play. Vin had made a waxed paper boat for Will that always joined us in the tub. It was looking a little dilapidated after all the play. Amanda had a wooden ring that she chewed all the time and loved to drop in the water so she could fish it out again.

That game never failed to amuse and I undressed while keeping a sharp eye on Will who was shedding his own clothes quickly. “Papa, can Tiger come in too?”

Nathan chuckled and I hung up the discarded clothing. “No, sweetheart, Tiger takes care of his own bathing. Cats rarely like water. They like to keep their fur dry.”

“That reminds me, we better shut the door so he doesn’t get into the other room until we can be there to watch him.” Nathan crossed to the bedroom door and closed it just in time for Tiger to jump down off the bed. He was heading for Amanda’s cradle, which had moved slightly when Nathan passed by.

Our life had just gotten a little more fun and I picked up our son to take him into the bathroom while Nathan brought in Amanda. I was the luckiest man alive and I was reminded everyday what a joy it was to be alive. Life was good and about to get even better. Tiger would soon be a force to be reckoned with and some of that energy the children shared would have a new outlet.

“Papa, are you sure that Tiger couldn’t come in with us?” Will looked longingly over my shoulder.

I chuckled. Tiger might just get baptized as well as christened if our son had anything to do with it.

**********************


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes the smallest things can be dangerous.

Nathan  
**************** 

It started so small that I dismissed it. Just a sneeze, I thought. We’d been cleaning house in the nice spring air with all the windows open and there wasn’t much dust to sweep out but enough that we both thought it was just a sneeze. Will laughed at the funny sound and we had a little tickle session right there on our bed with Amanda chortling from her cradle.

Everything was nice and clean and smelling like spring when the second sneeze hit. Only this one was quickly followed by two more and shook his whole body with their force. Even Will thought those had to hurt and he crawled up into Ezra’s lap and hugged him real tight. But my lover laughed it off as still dust related and I agreed slowly but with a silent thought to watch him over the next few days.

Then Josiah and Maude came back and we threw a party over to the church to tell them ‘welcome home’. Ezra baked up a storm and when I noticed how flushed he was, he kissed me gently and told me it was just the oven. I held him close and kissed him not at all gently while he sighed happily and opened up for my questing tongue. Will laughs at us when we do that and I’m glad that he doesn’t see anything wrong with his Papa and Pa kissing.

But it was at the party that I really started to worry. He coughed and once started couldn’t seem to stop. I held him close while he waved off his mother’s concern and finally stopped coughing and started smiling. Just a tickle, he said and everyone else seemed to agree but not me. I’ve listened to a lot of coughs over the years and that wasn’t a tickle-cough but one that came from the lungs.

I tried to tell myself it was just a cold. The weather, which had been so balmy, had turned to wet and cool and he’d just caught the sniffles. That’s what I told myself but now I was watching him like a hawk. He drank the cold punch that he’d made for Maude and it hurt him, I could tell. When Will got tired and Amanda fell asleep in my arms, we called it a night and walked home. 

At the foot of the steps, Ezra suddenly bent over and set Will down so he could cough again. Now, it sounded nasty and he leaned against the building while it shook his whole body. I picked Will up with my other arm and quickly went up the stairs to the top. Setting him down, he quickly picked the key up from under the welcome mat and unlocked the door. I almost ran through the room and put Amanda in her cradle then raced back out and down the stairs.

“I’m . . . fine . . . Nathan.” He was still clinging to the railing but I paid him no heed, just hooking my arm around his waist and carrying him the rest of the way. His whole body was shaking and I could feel the heat radiating off him. 

Once inside, I saw that Will had turned up the wick on the lamp in the outer room and was anxiously waiting for us with Tiger in his arms. “It’s going to be all right, Will. Papa just has a cold.”

He nodded slowly and trailed me into our room where I set Ezra down near the bed. My lover was still trying to control his cough and the near whooping sound made my heart clench. I undressed him quickly and slid him under the covers while Will watched with frightened eyes. Ezra finally stilled, the cough controlled for the moment, and held out his hand to our son.

“Sweetheart, don’t worry so. Pa is the best doctor in the whole world and he’ll fix me right up.” His voice was hoarse and I could see that Will was not convinced but he came over and patted Ezra’s hand.

“Watch over Papa for me, Will. I need to go and get some things from the clinic.” I stroked his fair hair and he nodded, letting Tiger go on the quilt and climbing up so he was right by Ezra’s side.

I hurried back down the steps and into the clinic, headed for the back room. Lighting the lamp, I realized that my hands were shaking. Fear ripped through me and I tried to hold it back but tears welled behind my closed eyelids and escaped onto my cheeks anyway. The man I loved and depended on was ill. What if I wasn’t good enough to make him well? What if something I did made him worse?

What if he . . .? I throttled the insecurities down and swiped the tears from my cheeks. That wasn’t going to help. I heard the faint sound of coughing through the ceiling and I steadied myself before reaching for the jars of herbs that might help. White willow bark for the fever, sassafras root for the cough and a little peppermint to make it taste better, I gathered them to me and tried to remember what else might be needed.

“Nathan, is there a problem?” Vin’s voice came from behind me and I started, almost dropping the jars. “Is it Ezra?”

Turning, I hoped that he couldn’t see the tears on my face. “The cough is getting worse and he’s running a fever. Could you take Amanda back over to Maude and Josiah? I think it’s going to be a long night.”

“Course I will, Nathan. Will, too?” He asked gently and followed me upstairs.

I debated long and hard but finally shook my head. We were back in our home and I could see Will’s wide-eyed look at us. “No, Vin, I need Will to help me take care of Ezra.”

The bright smile on his face told me that I’d done the right thing. Amanda was fussing a little, as if she knew that something was wrong with her world. Vin picked her up out of the cradle and she quieted at once, latching onto his hair and chewing on it. He just chuckled and picked up the bag of supplies that usually went with us everywhere.

“If they need anything else, we’ll come back for it. I’m going to leave the outer door unlocked so we can come in to check on you. Okay, Nathan?” He asked me and I nodded.

“Vin,” Ezra was down to a whisper. “Tell them not to worry, I’ll be fine.”

But the cough came back and spoiled his reassurances. My stomach knotted and I tried smiling at our daughter and friend but it just wasn’t in me right then. I dropped a kiss on Amanda’s soft hair and sent them on their way while I put the teakettle on and got down the pretty teapot that Ezra liked. Will’s voice from the other room was telling Ezra a story that he’d made up on the way home from school.

I let the piping voice soothe over my senses while I waited for the water to boil. Steeping the white willow bark, I got down a jar of honey and wished for some fresh lemon to squeeze into it. But the golden elixir would help his sore throat after the tea brought his fever down. I set the wooden tray with everything on it and carried it in to the sound of more coughing.

Ezra’s cheeks were bright red and he was coughing into his handkerchief with Will curled up by his side, patting his arm. The soft green eyes of our son came to me with a mixture of fear and entreaty. I wanted to reassure him but I was afraid that my voice would quiver.

“Is that for me?” The hoarse tones made my hands shake but I smiled as best I could.

“This is good for what ails you, Ezra.” I set the tray on his lap and busied myself pouring him a cup of tea. “You drink that and I’ll take your temperature. Will, would you watch Papa while I get some water to cool him down?”

“Yes, Pa.” Will was subdued but hanging in there and I smoothed his soft hair once before heading into the bathroom to gather what I would need to help bring Ezra’s temperature down. The thermometer was high on the shelf above the sink and I brought it back with me to stick under his tongue.

Then I brought in the basin with some cool water and a cloth. I wiped down his upper body and thought about a mustard plaster for his chest. His skin was flushed everywhere and his eyes glittered with fever. Will held his cup for him and I took out the thermometer to read a temp of 102 degrees. Fear knifed through me and I shook down the mercury while my hands trembled.

“Don’t worry, love.” His hand caressed mine. “I’ll be fine.”

“I love you, Ezra.” I kissed his temple and felt the heat radiate from him. “I’ll do what ever I have to do to get you well.”

He began to cough again and I saw the flecks of blood that he couldn’t hide.

***** 

The next three days passed in fits and starts. I was never quite sure what time it was or even the day. Ezra’s temperature rose to 104 degrees and he had fever dreams that broke my heart. Sometimes he didn’t know where he was or even who I was. When he was lucid, he tried to reassure us that he was getting better. 

But he wasn’t.

He coughed up blood twice but slowly the fever burned the cough right out of him. On the third day he went silent and fell into something like a coma that had me on my knees by the bed, afraid that this time he’d leave me.

“Is Papa going to die, Pa?” Will leaned into me with a sob.

“I hope not, Will. I think he loves us very much so he’s fighting to stay with us.” I put an arm around him and dropped a kiss on his hair.

“Mama died of the cough.” His voice sounded so grownup all of a sudden.

“I know, Will, but she didn’t have all her family around her, praying for her and trying to help her get well.” I wondered if I’d survive loosing the man I loved so much.

“Grandpa and Nana prayed for Papa.” He leaned hard into my side. “Amanda fussed when I left. I think she’s missing us.”

The thought of our daughter made me smile a little. I needed a hug from our tiny angel. “When Papa gets better, she can come home. Amanda-kisses are good medicine. Are you ready for bed, son?”

“Yes, Pa.” He hugged me close and kissed my cheek before reaching up and kissing Ezra’s. “I love you, Papa. Please get better soon.”

I got up and carried him into the other room. Tucking him in, I kissed his cheek and listened to the prayers that he said every night. I joined in with a fervent and often repeated prayer for Ezra’s good health. I dimmed the lamp on the table but left it burning until Will could get to sleep. Perhaps I should brew another pot of white willow bark tea for when Ezra woke up?

I was determined to be positive. Ezra would wake up and start getting better any moment now. The others of the seven had all come by during the day and I knew they were praying for him. Josiah’s prayers were sure to be listened to and Maude had been a real godsend with Amanda. Will spent the days with them while I worked full time with Ezra.

But there had to be something more that I could do. I’d tried mustard plasters, sweating him, cooling him, trying to get his fever down and his lungs clear. But the fluid in his lungs continued and he had to sleep propped up on three pillows. His forehead felt a little cooler to me and his breath didn’t rattle quite as badly. I changed the cool cloth on his forehead and tried to convince myself that he was better.

I curled up beside him, holding his limp hand in mine against my cheek. My lips felt his pulse . . . that tiny thread of sound that meant his heart was still beating. Childhood prayers came back to me and I murmured them over and over. I must have fallen asleep at some point because when I started awake the silence was deep. Sitting up, I suddenly couldn’t see or hear Ezra breathing.

My hands were trembling so hard that I couldn’t feel his pulse so I laid my head on his chest and held my breath. And there it was, stronger than before and I fumbled the ear pieces of my wooden stethoscope so I could listen to his lungs. They were clearer than they’d been just hours earlier. He blurred before my eyes as they filled with tears. It wasn’t certain but it felt like he’d turned a corner towards health.

I stumbled from bed to get some cooler water to bathe him. It felt like I hadn’t slept for weeks and when I looked in the mirror above the sink, I could see the toll that the last few days had taken. Once Ezra was over the worst, I might begin to catch up on my sleep. Splashing my face, I dried off and filled the basin again. 

He stirred a little when I sponged him off but his lips curved in a little smile when I wiped down his stomach. Those green eyes opened a little and tried to focus on me. I could feel tears well and spill onto my cheeks. His hand trembled when he tried to bring it up to my face. 

“I love you, Ezra.” I whispered and caught his hand to bring it to my lips. Nestling a kiss into his palm, I finally smiled.

“Nathan,” his whisper was so weak that I could barely hear him.

“The fever’s broken and you’re going to start getting better now.” I told him firmly and watched him smile.

“Love you,” he managed and I kissed his lips gently. “Long?”

I knew what he was asking. “Three days, I think. Maude and Josiah are taking care of Amanda. Will has been helping me the whole time.”

“Aching,” he winced a little and I thought quickly.

“How about a bath while I change the bed?”

His eyes lit up and he nodded. “Join me?”

“God, yes.” I kissed him again then got up to find out if we had enough hot water. “Stay there and I’ll be right back.

Both stoves had water on so I poured in all six gallons and tiptoed into the outer room to see if that stove had any. Will stirred and called my name. When I told him that Ezra was awake, he jumped out of bed and ran into the bedroom. Chuckling, I found three more gallons hot and carried it back in. Ezra had our son in his arms while Will chattered about all we’d done the last few days.

I finished getting the bath ready with the wintergreen oil and came out to find that Will had thrown off his nightshirt. I skimmed out of my pants and shirt to Ezra’s appreciative gaze, then picked him up and carried him into the steamy bathroom. He sighed a little when I slid him into the water and my hands shook a little when I checked to make sure he could stay up.

Will peeked over the side of the tub to smile at his Papa and I lifted him up and into the space between Ezra’s legs. Then I climbed in and felt the hot water give me back a little energy. I lathered the soap and began at his feet, working up his legs to his groin, which tried to twitch then over his flat stomach muscles to his chest. He was taking deep breaths of the steamy air and I could see his pleasure at being alive sparkle in his eyes.

He purred for us when I washed his left arm and Will diligently washed his right arm. Our son giggled and rinsed him clean while he made faces at him. I was silently thanking God and all His angels for giving Ezra back to us. He was weakening a little after so long abed but his smile was bright. I washed Will then he helped me wash while Ezra watched us with lazy eyes.

When we were clean, I helped Will out and dried him off then drained the tub while Ezra waited. He knew better than to even try to get out by himself when I glared at him and told him in no uncertain terms he was to wait until we had the bed changed. I gave him a towel so he didn’t get cold even in the stove-heated bathroom. Will got clean sheets out of the dresser and helped me remake the big bed.

Ezra had tried to dry himself but his arms were shaking with fatigue when I came back in to get him. Holding him up, I dried everything within reach while he nursed gently at the nipple over my heart. I was crying again and had to blot my tears on his soft hair.

“I’ll get better, Nathan. If I had to get sick, I’m so glad that you were my doctor.” He was trembling all over and I swung him up into my arms to carry him back to our bed.

“I was afraid I’d lost you, Ezra . . . that I wasn’t good enough to heal you.” I laid him gently down onto the clean sheets while Will fluffed the pillows behind him.

“No, Pa, you’re the best healer in the whole wide world.” He told me sternly while Ezra chuckled.

“Quite right, Will. We’re very lucky to have him take care of us.” He hugged the little boy close. “And I’m glad that you helped him so well. I knew even when I hurt the worst that you were both here with me.”

“Love you, Papa.” He patted the bristly cheek of my lover. “Are you hungry?”

Ezra got an interesting look on his face. “You know, I think you’re right. I do feel a little empty.”

Chuckling, I went to the outer room and fixed a plate of bread and applesauce. I didn’t want to tax his stomach after his fast. Pouring a glass of cold water, I carried them both back in. Will was holding Ezra’s hand and telling him more of the last few days. Ezra was in the middle of the bed with Will on one side and I slid in on the other. He ate a few bites of bread and frowned a little.

“I know, sweet Ezra. The bread isn’t as good as yours but it was real nice of Mrs. Gray to bake for us. Inez made the applesauce.” I told him and he twinkled at me.

“Well, as soon as I get a little energy back, I’ll bake.” He enjoyed the spoonful of apple that I fed him but his appetite quickly flagged. “Finish it, Nathan. I think I’ve had enough.”

Will frowned a little but ate some bread while I finished off the rest. I was hungrier than I’d thought. I must have forgotten a few meals myself. Ezra got most of the water down, his hand shaking a little more with each rise. His energy was giving out and I set everything aside before helping him slide down into the bed. Taking out the extra pillows, I checked to be sure he was breathing easily.

He was and his eyes were already closing when I blew out the lamp and cuddled my son and lover close. Will said goodnight again and our voices echoed back. For the first time since Ezra had gotten sick, I relaxed completely and allowed sleep to come. This time, I knew that I’d awaken without the fear of losing the man I loved with all my heart and soul.

********************


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The building begins

********* Ezra ********* 

I sat in the shade with Amanda on the blanket that Nathan insisted I stay upon. He wouldn’t let me lift a finger and if I wasn’t so tired, I might have pouted. But he was right; I wasn’t up to much these days. My bout with pneumonia had taken all my reserves with it and it seemed to be taking forever to come back to normal. I napped several times a day with Amanda but still fell asleep by nine most evenings.

Not at all like normal but I was resigned to slowly coming back from the brink. Vin told me how bad it had gotten and how frightened Nathan was when I sank so quickly. My lover didn’t want to talk about that time but I’d catch him looking at me with such a sorrowful gaze that it broke my heart. Little Will could tell me how scared he’d been but my Nathan just kept it all inside of him while treating me like a piece of fine crystal.

It had been almost three weeks since I came out of my coma and today I was determined to reassure him in the most basic manner that I was getting better. I was not a fragile flower but his partner in all ways and so he would soon learn. I watched the others of the seven finish framing our outer walls while Will trotted between them with the bag of nails. He was growing so quickly, his limp almost totally gone.

I was truly blessed with a wonderful family. Amanda made another determined effort to crawl off the blanket but I caught her up in a hug while she giggled happily. The jingle of harness told me that Mother had arrived in the buggy they’d bought in Santa Fe, which meant that lunch had arrived. She stopped on the other side of the tree so Agamemnon, her bay horse would have shade.

Josiah crossed the grassy meadow the moment he saw her and I heard her hum contentedly when he helped her down. I was sure that they were kissing but I wasn’t ready to see that just yet. I still had a bit of trouble thinking of them as passionate partners. Nathan smiled over at us and Will trotted over to say hello to his Nana.

“Sweet William, what a good helper you are. I brought something extra special for all of you for lunch. Why don’t you go with Josiah and bring back some water from the creek so you can wash up? By then, lunch will be all ready.” Mother’s voice was contented and cheerful, something that I was beginning to get used to hearing.

I was a very lucky man, I decided, watching my friends and family begin to put down their tools for a much needed break. Soon they had joined me in the shade of the old oak tree and our feast was spread out before us. My diet was still rather restricted since the blood I’d been coughing up had come from an inflamed stomach and not my lungs, much to Nathan’s and my relief. But the clear broth and plain bread seemed to have soothed it into healing so now I could at least taste some of the other dishes.

I’d even begun to appreciate beans although I would never admit it to a soul.

“Ezra?” Nathan’s voice was a little anxious and I brought my attention back to my dearest love.

“I’m fine, Nathan, just enjoying the fresh air and the company.” I leaned into his arm and felt it come around me. Amanda giggled and crawled into her Pa’s lap, trying for a bite of his fried chicken.

“Papa, she ate some of my beans.” Will giggled.

“Oh dear, I was hoping to keep her from that dire habit.” I sighed theatrically and shook my head.

“Sorry, son, I’m afraid that she’s a Western girl now so beans are in her diet to stay.” Josiah grinned at me and I stuck out my tongue at him.

“Ezra, we’ll just have to work a little harder to bring her to an appreciation of the finer things in life.” Mother said graciously before wiping a speck of chicken from Josiah’s lips with her napkin.

That was such an unexpectedly erotic gesture that I was speechless. It seemed that Nathan was right about the passion in their marriage. The rest of our lunch disappeared quickly including the apple pie that she’d baked and Mother took Amanda back with her in the buggy so that she could have her nap in comfort. I refused to leave the others so Nathan settled me down with a light cover and a pillow he stored under the seat of our wagon. With a gentle kiss and a request to Will that he stay with me until I woke up, he left me to nap while they kept on working.

Will and I both fell asleep to the sound of hammers ringing through the still air and we awoke refreshed almost three hours later. The water in the earthen ware jug that we kept in the shade was still cool and Will took everyone some before going back to helping. They’d gotten a lot done while we slept. Indeed, it looked like they’d finished the framing and had started boarding up the walls.

I daydreamed a bit about how nice it would be to have our own house with enough room to hold all of us. The kitchen was going to be full of every modern device including a pump in the sink and a hot water heater that would serve the bathroom as well. Mother had insisted on the Majestic stove since she held stock in the company. Three of them for the first three houses to be built were even now sitting in the storage shed at the church.

Once our home was built, the work on the next house would begin. That one was Chris and Vin’s and it would go up about six city blocks distant from ours. The corral and barn would fill up some of the space in between us. Thus we would have privacy and protection both. It appeared the horse breeding business was closer than we’d thought. I know that Vin was chaffing at living in town.

His soul was made for open spaces. Luckily, Chris understood that and they’d been camping here for the last week while the cement dried. Termites were always a problem in the desert and we were building for the future so our floors were cement with inlaid tiles that would be easy to keep clean. I’d kept our growing family in mind and insisted on something we could mop and let dry.

Nathan had approved of my ideas and was working mightily to make all my dreams come true. Shading my eyes, I found my lover pounding nails above his head into part of what would soon be our bedroom wall. He’d removed his shirt and I had to catch my breath at the beautiful sight before me. The sweat gleamed down his back, highlighting all those lovely muscles that flexed when he moved.

Good Lord, that dark skin was like melting chocolate, gleaming in the sun. I was mesmerized by his beautiful body and I watched longingly while he moved this way and that. A bead of sweat rolled down his long spine and I thought about following that slick path with my tongue. He was salty sweet and just what I needed to counterpoint my bland diet.

“Ez’, ya goin’ ta trip Nate tonight?” Vin’s laughing voice broke my abstraction and I tried to frown at him. “Oh yeah, I can see that maybe Chris and me should take Will campin’ tonight.”

I perked up at once. “Would you really be willing to do so? He’s been asking if we can camp but Nathan doesn’t want me exposed to the damp.”

“Chris and I’d be right pleased ta have him. Maude brought some clothes for him and your old bedroll so he doesn’t even have ta go back ta Four Corners.” Vin grinned at my surprised look. “You’re a lot better now and we’ve all seen that Nate’s been slow ta let ya try your wings. Call it a get-well present.”

What very good friends we were blessed with, I thought with a little hitch in my breathing. But Vin just patted my shoulder and winked at me before heading over to our son and kneeling by his side. Will’s joyous smile and quick look over at me to make sure it was really all right came simultaneously. I nodded and watched him almost strangle the blond tracker with his hug.

Nathan looked between them then to me and I let all my hunger appear on my face. I’ve been told that I can be quite . . . expressive that way and it must be true because a hungry look appeared in response to mine. Oh yes, tonight would see us alone and together. I licked my lips and watched his eyes glaze over. Tonight might even be . . . noisy.

********* Nathan ********* 

I knew that I’d been holding back. The thought of losing Ezra had chilled my body to the point that I didn’t think I could get it up even if I tried. I knew he’d begun to fret but watching him have to sit down after a brief ten minute walk to the saloon had corralled any urge I might have to make love with him.

It looked like my time was up. The urge to hold him close and make love was going to be fulfilled tonight. Will asked my permission to stay with Vin and Chris so I said yes then a minute later hit my thumb with the hammer. My concentration was shot all to hell and I could feel my body begin to tighten all over. I’d gone over two years without any relief but my right hand.

But a year with Ezra had spoiled me completely. It just wasn’t enough anymore to hold him and kiss him gently. I needed to hear those little moans he made when I was stroking his satin skin; to taste the seed leaking from that pretty pink cock of his; to watch his eyes go almost black with just a tiny ring of green; to touch him deep inside where that sweet spot made him pant and moan my name.

“Nathan, I think we’re finished for the day.” Josiah plucked the hammer from my hand before I could hurt myself even more. His knowing smile made me blush and I could just tell that he knew it, too. “Maude and I have kidnapped Amanda for the evening so I guess that it will just be the two of you tonight.”

“Yeah, Nate, we’re thinking that it will be ‘most ten o’clock tomorrow before we get back to work here.” Buck winked at me and handed me my shirt. “And it looks like we all need to bathe tonight.”

I fumbled my buttons just thinking about bathing with Ezra. His chuckle was all the warning I got before he batted my hands away and nimbly finished getting me presentable. The next few moments were kind of chaotic, what with making sure all the tools were locked up in the water proof box and that Will had everything he needed to camp with Vin and Chris.

Then we were in the wagon heading back to Four Corners with Ezra by my side, tormenting me with teasing little touches to my thigh that had me hard as iron. But it was his soft Southern accent detailing everything he was going to do with me when we were alone that had me almost coming in my homespun pants. Once at the livery, I actually let Mr. Brewster un-harness and take care of the horses so’s I could ‘help’ Ezra back home.

We tipped our hats to the ladies walking on the boardwalk but didn’t stop to chat the way that some of them wanted to. I needed to be home right now and I could feel Ezra’s little shiver when my arm grazed his. He radiated heat but not the bad kind. I was going to explode like a cheap firecracker the moment he really touched me. His hips swayed just a bit when he moved gracefully up the stairs to our home above the clinic.

And I wanted him so badly that I could taste it.

He opened the door and ushered me in before pushing me up against the wood and bringing me down to his lips. I almost missed his other hand unbuttoning my pants when his tongue surged inside and slid against mine. Our loving had been non-existent and I finally realized how much I missed the hot, burning kisses that singed me with his fire.

Then his mouth was gone and so was he, while I blinked in dismay. But he’d freed me of the constricting pants and his mouth was hot and moist around my poor cock. I shot my seed with no more than a lick and little bit of suction. It felt like I came forever and all my muscles relaxed into limp putty. I couldn’t even keep standing, sliding down to the floor with a bit of a thump and a sigh of relief.

“Well, that was tasty.” Ezra smiled at me and leaned in to kiss me again. I welcomed him in and tasted myself on his tongue. We always tasted good together and today was no different. When we broke apart to breathe, he twinkled at me from my lap. “My diet has been so bland lately that I’d just like to thank you for thinking up such a treat for me.”

“I’ll always have that treat for you, Ezra.” I brushed back the curls that always wanted to fall into his face. “I think maybe I need a little snack myself. Let’s move this to the bedroom so I can make sure that you’re all right.”

“I’m fine, Nathan, actually better than fine.” He rose gracefully and gave me a hand up. “I think we’ll leave our boots here so we don’t track anything in.” He made short work of both pairs while he started flirting with me. That little upswept look through his dark lashes always made me start to tingle. And just like that, I started getting hard again. “Yes indeed, Dr. Jackson, I believe that some of that special medicine you inject into me so well will be needed shortly.”

I picked him up in my arms and stepped out of my pants, leaving them by the door. “I’ll do a real through examination, Mr. Standish.”

“Yes please,” he wound his arms around my neck and nipped tiny kisses all over my face. “I have some swelling that probably needs looking into and I think that fever may be back. You’re the only one who can possibly heal me, Dr. Jackson. Will I have to remove my clothes again?”

“Definitely, but I’ll be glad to help you with all those pesky buttons.” My fingers itched to strip him bare. Between us, we soon had both of us naked and aching. I laid him on the bed and sucked his pretty cock straight away down my throat. Oh, I had missed this. He moaned my name and shot as quickly as I had. We’d both needed this.

“Dearest . . . beloved . . . Nathan,” his voice was husky and hardened me still further. “I love you more every day that is ours. Please don’t withhold your love from me even when you think you must. I was so lost without your beloved touch.”

“Ah, Ezra, I didn’t want to,” I crawled up over him, looking him right in the eyes. “I love you so much that I was afraid I’d lose you if I went too fast. A hundred things could have gone wrong and I kept on seeing you get sicker. My body just . . . shut down until today.”

Those long elegant hands of his framed my face while he looked earnestly into my eyes. “I do understand Nathan, but you are the other half of my soul. It felt like part of me was missing when all you would do was hold me and kiss my cheek.” I nodded, the lump in my throat too big to swallow. But he seemed to understand and he went back to scattering kisses over my damp cheeks. “Now that we’ve both taken the edge off, why don’t we take a cool bath and come back to bed.” One hand slowly slid over my cock and it twitched, leaking a little fluid. “Then you’re going to slide this magnificent organ deep inside of me, Dr. Jackson so the medicine can get right to work.”

And I almost lost it right there and then. But I tightened my control and gingerly arose from our bed before pulling him up beside me. A bath with just the two of us was a real treat. The day was so hot that a single three-gallon of heated water from the kitchen stove sufficed to warm the cold well water enough for our bath. I was really looking forward to the hot water heater in our new home.

Our home - that still kind of amazed me when I thought about it. We were building our very own home with the help of our friends and family. We’d fill it with our love and children, surrounded by the homes of our friends. I sat while Ezra lathered his hands and washed me from head to toe, all the while telling me how much he wanted me, how much he missed me, how empty he was when I wasn’t inside of him.

I admit to hurrying a bit when it was my turn to wash him. He was hard again and I rejoiced at this evidence of his healing. He really was getting better and soon I’d have him back to normal. He’d be back to teaching and cooking within the month, I was sure of it. Getting out of the tub, I picked him up and carried him to bed, not even bothering to dry us off.

The heat would do that for us and what it missed the sheets would blot up. I needed him so badly that nothing else mattered. The oil that I massaged him with each night was right there and I slowly started stretching his tight hole while he moaned my name and shifted restlessly on the light green-colored sheet. I worshiped his pink nipples until he was clutching my shoulders and thrashing his head against the pillow.

“Now, Nathan, please now, please come inside me,” he moaned continuously.

And there was nothing I wanted more, slicking my cock with an oily hand and nudging the small hole. We both went silent when I popped inside the tightest, hottest place in the West. There was a little pain on his face and I stilled to make sure he was all right. But he squeezed his legs around my waist and silently urged me on until I was balls deep in him.

“Yes-s-s,” he sighed and opened his eyes to give me a sultry look. “My wonderful Nathan, make love to me until neither of us can move.”

That sounded perfect to me and I slowly began to pull out before thrusting back in. His muscles rippled around me while his body slickened with sweet-smelling sweat. Our mouths met again and again in achingly good kisses until we had to breathe. We were both panting when he came between us and I seized up, flooding him with my seed.

I think he blacked out then but I’d come close myself so I wasn’t too worried. Easing myself from his body, I checked the trickles for blood but he was fine, just a little messy. I got up and brought back the basin of cool water to sponge him down. He made a sleepy little moan that almost got me hard again but I’d shot my bolt for the moment. Sliding in next to him, I gathered his lax body into my arms and pulled the sheet up over us.

“So good, Nathan,” the sleepy murmur made my heart clench. “You’re always so good to me.”

”Sweet Ezra, you are easy to love.” I kissed his temple. “Go to sleep now and we’ll see about making love again after dinner.”

He chuckled, never opening his eyes, just tucking his head beneath my chin. “Maybe I’ll have that dream about getting pregnant again.” His hand gloved my cock and it firmed at just a touch. “We need to practice that a lot. You’ll slide inside of me so deep that all your seed will stay there waiting to be fertilized . . . soon to be fertilized.”

I chuckled, too. “We’ll practice until we get it right, sweet cheeks. Another baby would be fun to have.”

He wiggled against me and fell asleep, still holding my cock in his warm hand. I nudged my leg between his so I could feel him everywhere. Some might think that a sick fantasy but I understood that this man who loved me had an infinite supply of love to give his family. It looked like we’d be rescuing another soul soon. I was beginning to think that my Ezra was kind of psychic that way.

I kissed him again and let myself fall asleep.

***********************


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They move into their new house.

********* Ezra ********* 

I packed the last of the dishes into the wooden box and layered some straw in on top. It was moving day and this was the last of the kitchen items. The beds and bedding had gone in the first load and should be set up by the time we arrived at our new home. I paused and looked around the rooms that had been my first real home. If the walls could talk, they would have nothing but joy to relate.

We had loved here, brought our first child into the family then expanded with another. I thought of the feeling that had swept over me two weeks before when I was gazing out the window onto the red tulips. A small red-headed child in a shirt and overalls suddenly sprang into view but when I blinked, he or she had vanished. I smiled at the thought that I was seeing the future.

Strong arms slid around me and I chuckled when warm lips nuzzled under my ear. “Nathan.”

“Ezra, this is the last of it.” His voice held silky satisfaction. “We’re finally going to have a real home for all of us.”

I turned in his arms and chided him gently. “We had a real home here, my love. Where ever you are, that is my home. Be it three rooms or eight, home will always be the place where our love grows.”

He kissed me not at all gently; thrusting his tongue into my mouth and making my breath go short. I felt our groins begin to harden and mourned the impossibility of taking this any farther. Nathan knew it, too and he finally pulled away. “Home is where the heart is and you’ve got mine safe,” he patted my chest, “right here.”

I kissed the pert nipple that I could see through his cotton shirt and felt it peak for me. “You hold mine within you, beloved. Let’s go christen our new home.”

He laughed and let me go, picking up the crate and leaving with it. I took one last look around and followed. Soon JD and Buck would be living here. They’d begun to move in bits and pieces of furniture that they’d been collecting over the last year. We’d left our table and chairs for them since we now needed one with expansion leaves. The fiction would be the same, that they were just friends who were sharing the expenses of living on a small budget.

What the townspeople really thought of us, I wasn’t sure. Gloria Potter had accepted each new twist and turn of our lives with equanimity and Mary Travis hadn’t been far behind. With those two powerful women behind us, acceptance appeared to be ours. The children had helped; taking away that dangerous edge that so many of the good citizens of Four Corners had thought was ours.

Climbing up into the wagon, I sat and waited for Nathan to finish fussing with the placement of that last box. He is such a perfectionist, I thought fondly and smiled at him. He blinked then shook his head as if to clear it before climbing over the back of the seat to take up the reins. We were still in town so I refrained from resting my hand on the powerful thigh so close to mine.

But I could imagine sliding my fingers over the muscles that bunched beneath the sturdy denim pants. Perhaps I’d tease the inner seam so close to the steadily growing bulge behind the heavy buttoned fly. Or perhaps I’d actually unbutton him so I could slide my hand around the magnificent organ that brought me such pleasure? He clucked and the two horses started off. 

“Nathan, I believe that once we’re unpacked, we should send everyone over to Chris and Vin’s so we can take a nap.” I spoke rather primly with that little flirty look he liked. I waved to Gloria and Mary and waited until we got to the edge of town before continuing. “Then I think that I’ll undress you quite hastily so I can rub liniment into your . . . aching muscles.”

He actually groaned from just my words and I laughed delightedly. He tried to frown at me but I just smiled sweetly and let my hand fulfill part of my fantasy, sliding up his inner thigh to the hard bulk growing for me. “Sweet cheeks, you’re playing with fire here.”

“I know, Nathan.” I wished I could lean against him and feel that strong arm hold me close. “I love playing with you. I just . . . love you.”

The dark eyes softened and his right hand picked up mine and kissed it gently. “I love you too, Ezra. I promise that we’ll play later, once we’ve unpacked, got Amanda and you down for your naps, taken Will with me to help out the others and finished off dinner.”

I’m afraid that I pouted. “Not until then? I was hoping for something to take the edge off.”

He chuckled and clucked at the horses to go a little faster. “We’ll see, Ezra.”

We went over lists for the rest of the half hour trip. It was a daunting task to move a household such as ours even this short distance. With two small children, it was even worse. I couldn’t believe all the supplies that Will and Amanda needed. But we’d gotten it all moved with very little breakage or loss although the baby’s teething ring had disappeared most unaccountably.

Mother greeted us at the front door. “Come in quickly, Amanda has something to show you.”

My heart leapt into my throat but when Mother moved aside, we saw Amanda standing upright, holding onto the settee. Seeing us, she gave a welcoming wave, let go of the settee and took two steps towards us before falling on her rear end. She was walking, was all I could think. Our baby had become a toddler without me realizing it. Nathan was chuckling and moving to her, swinging her up in his arms and kissing her laughing face.

“I know, sweetheart,” Mother broke through my paralysis. “She’s not your tiny baby anymore but a little girl intent on exploring a much bigger world. You’re going to worry over her even more now.”

I nodded shakily and cleared my throat. “Where did the time go, Mother? It seems like just yesterday we rescued her and brought her home.”

She hugged me close, something that I was still a little surprised at. “Time has a very odd way of moving more quickly as we get older. I remember leaving you a baby with Aunt Lavidia and returning five months later to find you’d grown four inches taller, started walking and talking sense. I felt very, very old that day. I missed so much of your life because of my fears.”

I hugged her back. “We can’t change the past but having you here now is a blessing, Mother. I’m very glad of your presence.”

She nodded and kissed my cheek. Will and Vin then appeared from our bedroom and we all pitched in to finish unloading the wagon. Mother had cooked lunch for us all and the others arrived from the next building site for the midday meal. Looking around our new mission oak table, I felt truly blessed with friends. Nathan and Chris were talking about finishing the framing this afternoon.

Their house was smaller than ours but it did include an extra bedroom so I knew that in the back of their minds, they were contemplating a family, too. For some reason, every time I saw them, I also saw two tow-headed little boys about five years old. Just a glimpse but it had re-occurred several times now and I smiled every time. They looked like little mischief makers and I thought they’d be good for them.

I hadn’t told them yet since this new . . . ability, I guess you could call it was still rather disconcerting to me. But I was looking forward to the day when my vision came true. The red-headed toddler I’d foreseen made me smile every time I thought of him or her. I had so much love inside of me I needed more children upon whom to lavish it. Catching Nathan’s eye, I winked at him and made plans to have a bath ready for him when he returned.

I had plans for christening our new bathtub.

********* Nathan *********

We finished the framing and got a real good start on the clapboard walls. We’d all gotten better at working together on our house so this one was going up even quicker. By the time we did Josiah and Maude’s, it would probably only take us a week or so. I chuckled to myself, thinking about that odd couple. Not a bad-odd, I suppose but definitely a strange-odd.

“Time to call it a day,” Chris stretched and laid down his hammer. “I promised Ezra that you’d be home by six and the sun is heading down. I think he has plans for you, Nate.”

I grinned. “He does. It’s our first night in our new home and I think he’s planning on us christening it tonight.”

“You gonna’ carry him over the threshold, Nathan?” Vin asked me quietly, rubbing his back a little where he so often ached.

I laid aside my hammer and gestured to him to do the same. “Let me get that, Vin.” 

He nodded and leaned against the new wall while I slowly slid my hands over his entire back. The little hitch in his breath told me when I was right over the afflicted area and I rubbed down the long muscles there to get better circulation to the sore spot. While I was doing that, I thought about what he’d asked.

“I think I will, Vin.” I thought about marriage and commitment. “I love him so much even though we can’t ever get married. I want to give him the whole world but all I have is my love.”

Chris’ eyes crinkled up and his slow smile made Vin catch his breath. “I know what you mean, Nate. I don’t think that any of us have much more than that to give. But love and friendship are pretty powerful gifts in their own right. Maybe one of these days we’ll be able to show our love to the whole world. But for now, I think maybe we should make sure that we say the words to each other and fit our actions to them.”

“Vows between ourselves,” I thought about that and decided he had a real good idea.

“Thanks, Nathan that feels better.” Vin chuckled and patted my shoulder. “Being able to live together without havin’ to worry about making a little noise deserves a celebration.”

I nodded. “Being out here is going to be real nice even though it will mean a lot more riding back and forth. Still, we won’t be going into town every day.”

“New routines will take some remembering but Four Corners is getting more settled every day.” Chris stretched all over before closing the tool box and picking it up. “Just like we’re getting more settled, Nate.”

“We are and thank goodness,” I sighed and picked up my shirt from the stack of planks that was waiting for the next day. “See you tomorrow, boys.”

“Have a good night, Nate.” Vin smiled. “Hey, Chris, let’s have us a swim in the creek to clean up.”

Chris looked like he thought that was a great idea and I left them to walk back home. I pondered the house with the bright white paint and the dark green shutters around the windows. Every single room had at least one window and the glass had been about the most expensive part of the house. Still – they looked real nice, freshly washed and gleaming in the setting sun.

Home – I had a real home with a front door and probably a white picket fence one of these days. But more importantly, I had a family waiting for me inside those walls I’d built myself. Three people who loved me so much, I was humbled by their caring. Three bright souls who I loved more than my own life.

“Pa’s home,” Will dashed out of the front door and across the yard to me.

I swung him up in my arms for a hug and he was already chattering about unpacking the dishes. Ezra held open the door with one hand while balancing Amanda on his hip. His smile was welcoming and our sweet Mandy was babbling something that almost made sense. ‘Pa’s home’, I thought with a smile. 

I was indeed.

Dinner was full of talk and plans. Ezra had baked fresh bread and I groaned a little at how good it tasted with the sweet butter melting on each slice. He dimpled up at me and suddenly I was thinking about something else pouring over me. Ezra always seemed to know when I had a sexy thought and those mysterious green eyes turned sultry on me. I needed that bath soon but for the moment he was bringing out a chocolate cake that had Will and me sitting up straight in our chairs.

“Papa, that looks beautiful.” Will watched Ezra cut a small piece and put it on his plate.

“Thank you, Will, I hope it tastes as good as it looks.” He cut a bigger slice and slid it onto my plate.

“It wouldn’t dare taste anything but delicious,” I told him and watched that little dimple flash at me again. I just had to pull him close and bring down his laughing lips to mine for a kiss – a reminder of what we’d be doing very soon.

He chuckled and cut a small slice for himself, which he shared with Mandy a spoonful at a time. I looked around the freshly painted white walls with the green ivy vines that Ezra had stenciled above the pine chair railings. Our table and chairs were pine, too. The only other piece of furniture in this room was a black oak side board that had arrived on the back of the Mr. Brewster’s delivery wagon. It took up most of the south wall of the dining room and was mainly empty for now.

It had been Maude’s and she had sent for some things she had in storage in New Orleans. She promised Ezra that he could choose from among the china that she’d collected over the years. Some had belonged to her mother and she had sniffed at their old fashioned design when she told us about them. But Ezra had a vague memory of purple violets on a bed of white and he was eagerly awaiting the crates to see if his memory was right.

If he was cooking the food for them, I didn’t really care what they had painted on them. But I knew he liked pretty things and if they made him happy then I’d be happy, too. After dinner, Will and I cleared the table then washed the dishes. It was one of the chores that we both liked to do because we could talk while we worked. 

“Pa, can I help at the new house tomorrow?” He asked, handing me one of the forks to dry. “We’re almost all done here.”

“I think that’s a good idea, Will. What did Papa say when you asked him?” I put the fork into the tin box that kept our eating utensils away from the mice.

“He said it was okay if you needed me.” He handed me all the spoons and started washing the plates.

“Well, we sure do, Will.” I helped him rinse the first plate. “You’d be a big help.”

He beamed up at me from the tall stool he had to stand on to reach the tin sink. We finished the dishes and drained the water out through the special waste pipe we’d installed in the kitchen and bathroom. Ezra had read about a plantation where all the waste water, except for the chamber pot waste, was collected outside the house, filtered through a charcoal layer and then dispersed to the garden for the plants. So, we were giving that a try.

Water was precious here in the south west and every drop should be used, not wasted.

“Nathan, are you done in there?” Ezra’s voice came from the bathroom. “It’s bath time.”

Will grinned and held up his arms to me. I picked him up and carried him back to the small white room with the big new bathtub. We’d left our old tub in the room above the clinic. JD told me that he and Buck would enjoy it a lot. But this tub was even longer than that one was. I could really stretch out in it with Ezra and I was looking forward to getting him in it after the little ones were tucked into bed.

********* Will *********

Mandy always splashed a lot when she first got in the tub. Papa and Pa took off their shirts and knelt by the tub, taking turns soaping us from head to toe. Papa sang a song about a baby duck swimming in a big pond that made us all laugh. Buck had given me a wooden boat made of a real light wood that floated in the water. Mandy was always trying to sink it but it came back up every time.

Pa washed my front and his strong dark brown fingers looked even darker against my skin. I’d never known many colored people except for the cook at Rose’s but she was real quiet and never seemed to notice me. Pa was real big and strong but he was always smiling and I felt really safe when he held me. Papa said he had healing hands and I knew he was right. My leg hardly hurt at all anymore, just sometimes when I’d been running and playing too long.

“Pa, how come your penis is so big?” I asked him while he was washing my privates.

Papa chuckled and smiled real bright at Pa. “Yes, Nathan, why is it so big?”

“Every man’s is different, Will.” He washed down my legs and tickled my toes so I had to laugh. “Just like your legs and arms grow as you get bigger, so will your penis. Some say that size is inherited from your father and since we don’t know how big your birth father was, we won’t know how big you’re going to get until you grow up.”

“Oh,” I thought about that for a minute. “Mama said that he was a sailor who came to visit one day and left me as a gift for her.”

Papa looked into my eyes and it was a kind of sad look. “Sailors have to be very strong and agile so I expect you’ll inherit those characteristics from him. You’re already growing taller, Will. However big you get, we’ll always love you.”

“I love you too, Papa and Pa.” I hugged Pa and kissed his cheek. “I was just curious.”

Pa has a real deep laugh and it always made me smile. “Come to us when you’ve got questions, Will and we’ll do our best to answer them.”

“Wi – wi-wi,” Mandy babbled and Papa looked real pleased.

“There now, hear how smart she is.” He picked her up out of the water and wrapped her in a towel. “She’s finally learned your name, sweetheart.”

Pa lifted me out and started drying me with another towel. “She’s walking and pretty soon she’ll be talking up a storm.”

“I’ll help her learn lots of words.” I smiled at my little sister and she smiled back. Mandy was the happiest baby in the whole world and I liked looking out for her. Even though her skin was dark like Pa’s, she was still my sister just like Pa and Papa were my fathers. Sometimes the kids at school would ask me why I lived with them. I told them what Papa had told me.

We were a family in our hearts no matter where we’d been born. 

It had been a long day and Papa tucked us both into bed in our brand new room. I had a big bed now and Mandy slept in my old one since she’d outgrown the cradle. Papa told me that when I wanted to, I could move into the other bedroom but for now he was hoping that I would share a room with Mandy. She might wake up scared in this new place and if she did then she’d see me and know she was safe.

I thought that was a good idea so for now we were sleeping with our beds just a couple of feet apart. Papa kissed us both goodnight then Pa came in and did the same. I think Mandy was asleep before they left the room and I listened to Tiger purr from the foot of my bed. I could hardly wait for the next day to work on Uncle Vin and Uncle Chris’ new house.

Closing my eyes, I said my prayers and hoped that Mama could look down from heaven and see how safe I was. Crickets were chirping outside and the hoot of an owl came through the slightly open window. I decided that this new home was going to be just right. 

********* Ezra ********* 

Nathan had put in more water after the children’s bath and after tucking them into bed, we adjourned back to the bathroom. I added a little of the wintergreen bath essence and watched him strip off his clothes. His skin gleamed in the fading light of the sunset and my hands itched to slide down that lovely chocolate brown chest. His nipples peaked for me and I could hardly wait to kiss them.

“Naked-Ezra is what I want right now,” he laughed at me and finished unbuttoning my pants. We’d long since kicked off our boots to walk barefooted on our nice tile floors. “Is there something you’d like, Ezra?”

“You, beloved, I want you so badly that I can taste it.” I leaned into him, my naked flesh needing his touch. My lips went to the nipple over his heart and I gently teased it with a slight rake of my teeth.

He gasped and lifted me up, his big hands cupping my nether cheeks. His callused fingers teased my cleft and I bit down a little harder than I’d meant to. He groaned before setting me down into the luke-warm water and climbing in, too. I swarmed back into his arms, lying on his chest while our cocks dueled between us. My legs fell to either side of his hips so his fingers could tease my small hole.

I’d made sure that the wooden ledge at the head of the tub held our liniment. I knew how much I needed him and I didn’t want to have to wait to go searching. His lips teased mine, his tongue tickling me into opening for his delicious self. Under the chocolate was his familiar taste and I feasted on him while his slick fingers slid slowly inside of me.

When he sparked my gland I bit his tongue in reflex. His chuckle rumbled through me like a freight train and I shivered in sudden need for more of him. Sitting up to take a deep breath, I gazed down into his sparkling gaze and fell even deeper in love. “Dearest Nathan, thank you for loving me.”

He steadied his cock at my entrance and I lifted up enough to force the flaring crown through the tight muscle. The first slide in was always a little painful since I seem to forget how big he is until he’s stretching my channel around his large bulk. “I’m the lucky one, angel-Ezra. You love me, gave me a family and freed me to love you. Dear God, you get tighter instead of looser.”

His hands steadied my hips until he could go no further. It felt like his cock would come out of my stomach and I could feel the pulse of his heartbeat deep inside of me. “I am very glad that you inherited this beautiful shaft, my own. And doubly glad that you share it with me so often.”

Fingers traced down my cleft to where he filled me so beautifully. The nerve endings tingled everywhere he touched and I shivered in sudden need. That need became his and he lifted me up an inch before letting me slide back down. All too soon the need for more overtook me and I used my thighs to lift up higher before moving down. Over and over we pleasured each other.

My fingers plucked at his prominent nipples while one of his hands leisurely gloved my leaking cock. “Dearest Nathan, have I ever told you how very beautiful the contrast between your lovely dark skin and my white skin is?”

“I was thinking the same thing, sweet cheeks. You don’t mind?” There was a note of diffidence in his voice that I thought I’d banished forever.

Leaning down, I brushed my lips over his. “I glory in our differences, beloved.” My lips trailed down his chin to the sensitive skin of his throat. “I love you and everything about you.” My hands rested on his shoulders while I increased the pace of my impalement. “You are a rare treasure just like our daughter Amanda. I am selfish to the extreme, my love. I want you all to myself.”

His hips surged up just a little bit and the flash fire that seared through me made me clench hard around him. He groaned quietly and we stilled to look at each other. His voice was soft and tender. “If we could, Ezra, I’d stand up in church and take you for my spouse. I love you beyond anything I could ever have imagined.”

”My love,” I had to swallow a sudden lump in my throat. “I would take you for my own in front of every witness we could gather. I want to proclaim from the highest mountain that I am yours and you are mine. I’ve always known that we were married in our hearts and that is the greatest gift you could ever give me.”

His hands brought me down to his lips again and we kissed for a long moment, sealing our vows into our hearts. I wondered if he’d want to wear a ring to show his commitment and thought that I would wear his ring proudly. I’d ask him in a bit, right now he was hitting my gland with unerring precision and I was on fire with a different kind of need.

Grasping my shaft firmly, he thrust up twice more and released within me while I adorned his chest with my own offering. We both shook for a long moment then he fished out the washcloth and soap. While we were still connected, he washed me slowly then I took my turn. He’d barely softened at all but I wanted him next in our big bed so I gingerly arose from him, his cock leaving me with an aching emptiness.

“Beloved Ezra,” was all he said and I blinked away sudden tears of happiness.

He left me get out first then he drained the water from the tub and joined me on the rag rug that caught our drips. Drying each other carefully with many a soft kiss on an unexpected patch of skin, we headed for bed. Once ensconced between cool sheets, I whispered my need into his ear before biting the lobe gently and letting go. He groaned and kissed me hard before turning me away from him and bringing me up onto all fours.

It always felt deep this way and his teasing kiss to my small hole made me shiver again with need. He ran his hot wet tongue from my dangling balls up to my spasming entrance and tongue-fucked me for long minutes until I was pleading with him to come back inside. The first blunt nudge of his velvet soft crown made me quiver and try to open myself further.

Then he was within and sliding so deep that I ached with longing. “Nathan . . . beloved Nathan . . . sweet love . . . give me your seed . . . impregnate me with our future . . . make me the receptacle of your desire.”

He moaned and began to thrust deeply, always hitting my gland until I was aflame with but one thought on my mind – coming. I needed to come, I needed him to come inside of me and I needed him to never come out again. My entire body flushed a brilliant red and I seized around him so hard that he released at almost the same moment. My arms failed and I slid down to the sheets with him glued to my back.

Somehow, it felt like we’d married and consummated that marriage. I was the luckiest man in the world. And maybe he’d stay inside long enough to harden again. I was going to be insatiable, I thought with satisfaction. Simply insatiable.

**********************


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rowan '07 challenge – only 100 words and a seasonal change.

********* Ezra ********* 

I check on the weather again.

The snow continues to sift down onto the dark green branches of the sheltering pines.

The sugary powder frosts the spikes of the picket fence with icy whites in the frigid air.

The crushed gravel path from the garden gate is salted but still slippery.

The days are shortening as Christmas approaches.

Add a little vanilla and a dash of chocolate and this snowfall would make a fine dessert.

I chuckle at the fanciful thought, mentally checking the contents of our larder.

When the children awake from their afternoon nap, it's time to bake.

*********


End file.
